


Wounds of the Soul

by Katie237



Series: Identity [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU Post-Season 2 Finale, Barry is acting weird, Dark Barry Allen, Hurt Barry, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Barry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:43:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 57,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8789443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie237/pseuds/Katie237
Summary: After defeating Zoom, Barry was acting impulsive and edgy 'til he mysteriously vanished for months. When he finally reappeared, something is different with him. Can the team figure what's wrong and pierce the mystery of his disappearance while dealing at the same time with a new threat rising in both Star City and Central City, looking for an old artefact from the legends?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Welcome everyone to my whole new long fic! It's a bit of a AU to 2x23, where Barry doesn't go back in time and create Flashpoint.
> 
> Hope you guys will love it

''You need to rest, Barry'' repeated Cisco, feeling like he would have better chances talking to a wall.

''Seriously?'' Barry answered irritably ''what is it with you recently? It's like all of you guys think I can't handle myself. You don't trust me anymore.''

''Come on bro, you know it's not like that, we're worried about you.''

The only answer he got was a snort. These days it was feeling like every day was more of the same, and not in a good way. It'd almost been a week since they defeated Zoom, finally, but not without a cost, a sacrifice by the name of Henry Allen. Naively, Team Flash hoped that with Zoom defeated, Barry would finally take a well-deserved rest and take the time to grieve the death of his father. It was quite the opposite.

Instead of resting and grieving, Barry decided instead to stubbornly bury himself in work, whether it was his daytime job at the precinct or his secret job, as The Flash, saving people night and day. Whether it was a fire, a robbery, a knife attack or any existing type of crime there was. The city had never seen so much of The Flash running around, even when there wasn't any crime or Meta attacks going on. He was always running; running against the pain. Everyone else in the city was happy, with their hero running around none-stop, crime went downhill …in a flash during that one week span. There was no getting away, no last minute escapes for the crooks of Central City. Of course the CCPD among others couldn't be happier, giving the department the well deserved time off and time to mourn the cops who had fallen in the fight against Zoom and his Metapocalypse.

The only people having a hard time about this was Team Flash. It didn't take a doctor to see that Barry was about to crash and burn. He was barely sleeping, always fighting crime. Everyday he was getting more on edge, more irritable, more closed off to all of them. After everything he'd been through, nobody could blame him, but everyone was getting worried sick. Even Captain Singh noticed how tired the young man looked. Well not exactly tired, the more accurate word would be exhausted. The captain pushed the young man to take a break to rest, considering he had just lost his dad. It came from a good intention, but Singh had no way of knowing less hours at the station meant more hours running right into the face of danger instead of staying in his super safe lab.

The more Team Flash pressed the young man into resting, the more aggressive he became, biting their heads off over simple matters . Arguing over and over again with Barry was hard and emotionally draining for the team.

Caitlin had already given up on this fight for the night and had gone home, leaving Cisco all alone with his best friend. Seeing nothing he said was having any effect, Cisco sighed, exasperated, regretting not leaving with Caitlin when he had the chance. It was too late for this. Part of his mind hated thinking, feeling like this, friends were supposed to stick together when times get tough, but it was easier said than done. Talking to Barry kept on turning into either conflict or stretches of silence. Cisco just wanted his friend back.

The young engineer opened his mouth to call it a quits, but he didn't get the chance to do so. Probably thinking another argument was about to erupt, Barry just took off in a rush of wind and lighting, stretching his legs in the streets, going nowhere, feeling more empty than he ever had in his life. He still had friends, he still had family with the Wests, but he had never felt more alone in his life. Zoom had taken everything from him.

As he was wondering in the streets, he passed a firetruck with sirens on.

Finally, something he thought. Something to take his mind off everything.

Barry moved through the city at multiple times the speed of sound until he found his target; an apartment building on fire. Time to be the hero once again. He zipped in and out of the building, taking one person out after another. As he was getting in for one last sweep, to make sure everyone was out, he heard a commanding voice:

''Flash! I've been waiting for you!''

Barry turned around, ending face to face with an old man in his 70s who stood in the fire, unfazed with the heat and the danger surrounding him. Despite his gray hair and wrinkles, the mystery man still had the look and the voice of someone commanding an army while he grabbed the amulet in his neck, an old but spectacular one made of gold, looking like a sun with a red diamond in the middle. Barry didn't even notice it was there until now. To be fair, he barely noticed much of anything, there was something unnatural, magical about the man. Despite the danger around them, all he could do was stand there and stare.

''What do you want?'' Was all he found the strength to ask.

''Isn't it obvious? You!''

Back at S.T.A.R., Cisco was making his way out of there, giving up the fight too for the day, when he heard a sound that made his blood run cold; his best friend's scream coming out of the speaker.

''Barry!'' He screamed to no one, knowing his friend couldn't hear it, running to the computer, praying to whoever would listen that the sensors on the suit were still on. Thank god they were, but it wasn't anything to feel good about. The young man wasn't a doctor, but he could tell by looking at them that Barry's vitals were going off the chart.

''Barry! Barry! Answer me man! What's happening? BARRY!'' he repeatedly screamed into the mic, desperate for an answer, any kind of answer.

When nothing came, except the continuous scream, Cisco quickly send one S.O.S. text to Caitlin, literally, before checking the GPS location of the speedster and taking back the cell in his hand. He interrupted what he was about to do when the screaming subsided in an even scarier silence. Barry's vitals plumbed down, but stayed there.

In an instant, Cisco was back to his cell, quick dialling the one person who could help. 'Please pick up, please pick up' prayed Cisco.

''Detective West.'' came the answer on the third ringing.

''Joe! Thank God! It's Cisco. You need to get on the 15th street, next to the bridge, now!'' quickly responded the panicked voice.

''Cisco, what is it?'' Inquired Joe, picking on in the panic in the young man's voice. ''Is it…''

''Barry is not answering on the comms. He's in a fire, I think he's hurt and he's not moving''

On the other side of the line, Cisco could hear the man jump into his car and speed away as Cisco continued talking: ''I'm sorry Joe, he took off, I have no idea what happened…''

Joe wasn't answering, but the young engineer could hear his increased breathing, fast and loud, concern laced into every breath. ''I'm still 7 minutes out at least.''

Cisco closely looked at the immobilized dot in the building, before turning his attention to his friend's vitals and returning to the dot, the now moving dot.

''Joe! Wait, he's on the move now!''

Cisco could hear Joe's relief in his voice, taking one deep breath: ''Thank God!'' He whispered under his panicked breath. ''So he's fine? He's on his way back?''

''Wait…he's not going in the right direction and he's moving too slow, way too slow. I think- I think he's in a car. ''

Both men felt a chill in their backs, knowing what it meant; someone was probably abducting the boy. Starting the police sirens, Joe sped between cars and traffic, speed limit only a suggestion, a suggestion he wasn't keen on following at this point in time. He followed Cisco's instruction, gaining on the other vehicle until the young engineer finally told them they stopped. The dot representing the Flash was still once more.

''Joe...they stopped and I can't…'' A deadly silence came on the phone before Cisco's voice started again, filled with terror. ''The sensors on the suit aren't picking up any vitals.''

''The suit is broken, right?'' Joe asked hopefully, not wanting to consider the other possibility, but the silence he got as an answer said everything.

Cisco waited for an agonizing minute for an update as the detective finally made it to the scene and announced it to his young friend. ''I'm entering the alley. Where is he? Can you still pick the signal'' asked Joe, his voice betraying his fear. Did someone just killed his son and dumped it in the trash?

''He should be right in front of you.''

He could hear a metallic sound on the line and digging 'til a gasp was heard.

''What is it? Joe….Joe! What is it?!''

''I found the suit, it's empty…Barry's gone.''

''Barry's missing.'' Stated Cisco in a monotone voice, not wanting to believe it. Turning around, his eyes came in contact with Caitlin's eyes as the doctor entered back into the cortex. Her eyes reflecting the same shocked expression.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Caitlin was closely looking at the last reading of Barry's vitals, trying to figure out what happened to him while Cisco was frantically searching for anything that could help him find his friend. They both turned around together at the sound of footsteps approaching as Joe made himself heard.

''What the hell happened?! I thought you guys were supposed to look out for him!'' Every word was injected with anger, but the tearful eyes were telling a whole different story of fear, worry and desperation.

Caitlin took the lead, meeting Joe behind them as he was about to enter the cortex

''We know how you feel Joe, but what happened wasn't anyone's fault. Nobody could've predicted someone would trap Barry in a fire. We'll find him Joe, we will.''

Despite his own panic, Cisco managed a small smile and nodded. Joe needed the reassurance more than anyone else in the room, Team Flash would need to be strong for the next couple of days, hopefully less, before they could find Barry.


	2. Four months

One week, one entire week, that's how long since Barry disappeared, vanished into thin air without leaving a trace. One entire week during which he was a prisoner somewhere with someone probably doing God knows what to him.

The police had been on it within the next 24 hours, putting every available resource on the case. The official story was that Barry was talking to Cisco when they walked passed the fire and had stopped to watch the Flash in action, only to notice something weird and decided to check it out. Of course, he just _had_ to go play hero and get himself kidnapped. Obviously, no witness had been able to place Barry at the fire on the day he went missing, but, hey, who could blame them? They were either being rescued by The Flash or were too absorbed by what was happening all around them to notice one nondescript man wandering around with his friend. Or at least that's the version Joe sold to the cops at the station, everyone was now in battle mode, doing everything they could to find their missing CSI, but the situation kept on getting more and more frustrating with every passing day. For every new clue, there were 5 dead-ends and cold trails waiting for them.

The fire was arson, somebody definitely prepared all of this as some sort of trap. The police force couldn't find any reasons why anyone would set a trap for Barry or even assume he would be at the scene, so they just figured the kid was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyone at S.T.A.R labs knew better. The cameras and a witness spotted a blue van driving away quickly from the scene, except this van has been rented the morning of the fire under the false identity of a newly deceased person, a person who's been _coincidently_ murder on the same day. CCPD managed to find the van, abandoned a few towns over and burned out of all evidences about the people who's been in there or where they left to.

Team Flash searched just as hard as the whole police force put together, probably harder, but they never seemed to be any closer to the answer, even after calling Team Arrow for some help. Felicity promised to search with every satellite and camera available, but Oliver was incredibly busy with his new position as Mayor and his now mostly-solo vigilante operation. Especially now that all the criminals in town were trying to take the empty throne left by Darhk's demise...

What really mattered for now was that everyone in the lab swore that there was no giving up until Barry was found and was safe and sound at home again.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Two weeks since the day they lost track of Barry. It's been all over the news that the CSI, son of the woman murdered by the infamous Dr Wells, was missing. Relentlessness of fate. Or at least that how the Media was trying to sell it. A call line had been put into place for anyone, any witnesses, who had any sort of information. But, so far, nothing concrete had come out of it.

CCPD was working closely with cops of the surrounding cities, turning over every stone, looking in every nook and cranny. Even Oliver and Felicity had come into town to lend a hand to their friends and helped them during every waking minute they had. Nobody was happier to see them than Iris who'd been spending the last couple of days trying to convince her dad to rest. He had barely slept or eaten in the past two weeks and every time she, or anyone else for that matter, would confront him on that matter, his only answer was always close to ''When we find Barry.'', reflecting the emotional state of when they were at the hospital during Barry's nine month coma.

Joe finally gave in, accepting to rest a bit whilst Oliver revisited every place related to the Barry's disappearance.

''We'll find him, Joe.'' Said Oliver, not realizing he was just repeating the most heard sentence of Joe's life, a sentence that had become almost meaningless in the last few weeks.

Despite all of their effort, even Oliver and Felicity (two of the greatest detectives they knew) had no leads on their missing friend, but their presence did give a new energy to the occupants of the labs, a new hope.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Cisco walked into the labs like he did every morning, coffees in hand to fuel the people at STAR Labs. He knew by now that Joe was always passing by at this time of the day to hear any news on the search before heading to the station.

It'd been a whole month since Barry had vanished from the face of the Earth. Where was he? No ransom was ever claimed, whoever did it wasn't after money and probably wasn't even after Barry, more likely they were after The Flash himself.

Cisco surprised himself a couple of days ago thinking that maybe, just maybe, it would be better if his friend was already dead instead of still suffering whatever he'd been enduring for so long now. The engineer felt disgusted with himself for that thought. No, Barry was still alive he _had_ to be alive and they wouldn't let him down, their friend deserved way better.

Before Cisco even entered the lab, he could hear the sound of a very loud argument going on in there. He walked into a heated discussion between Joe and Oliver.

''Just like that! You're giving up. You don't even care about my son, he's still out there!''

''Detective, Barry means a lot to me too, but crime in Star City is way up since I've been gone, I need to get back.''

''It's Barry, it's _MY son_ we're talking about. He's still missing!''

''I know, but we've already looked into every single lead we had and come up empty. We're not giving up, we'll keep our eyes-''

"And keyboards!'' added Felicity behind, trying to add some Felicity's humor to lessen the tension, failing miserably.

"-open. '' finished Oliver. ''If you find anything new, let us know and we'll be back.''

With that, Oliver started walking away, leaving a heartbroken Joe West even more broken and hopeless. First, Singh cut back in half the search party, unable to keep so much manpower in search of one person, no matter who it is...and now this. It felt like the whole world was giving up on ever finding Barry again. Joe didn't even care about people seeing the tears falling down his cheeks as the Green Arrow walked away with Felicity trailing behind.

For the first time in a month, the dark and cruel possibility that Barry will never be find slowly crept his way into Joe's mind. It felt like a dark hand going into his chest to crush his beating heart, there was no explaining the pain, the hopelessness.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''You can't be serious? You're just giving up, you too!'' exclaimed Joe, feeling his anger rise alongside his despair. The two emotions that've been co-existing in his mind since everything had started.

''Joe, please, you need to understand, it's been almost 2 months now. I value Barry a lot more than you think, but I can't keep so much of the precinct 's resources on the active search without making it look like I'm doing a favor for a someone in the force.''

''Captain, this is _Barry_ , we can't leave him to die. Please! '' The detective begged.

''Joe.'' Singh started carefully, not wanting to raise the possibility Barry might already be dead. ''We're not giving up, Smith and Johnson are still going to have the case and will keep searching, but so far every clue we found has led to a dead end. I promise that if they find anything new, I'll allow more manpower for the search. Until then, my hands are tied.''

''He's out there, we've got to find him, we've got to.'' Repeated Joe, like he hadn't hear a thing the captain had said to him, his brain tried to process the fact that with less people out there, their chances of finding is son were slowly diminishing.

''I'm sorry Joe, with the The Flash who has also disappeared, maybe he's been kidnapped too, the criminals started rising again and it only got a lot worse in the last month. We need as many resources as we can get to not lose Central City again at the hands of the criminals.''

Singh watched the broken man working hard on keeping his face up without breaking down. The poor man has been through too much in the last two years, without this. The captain could see Joe losing more of himself every day, starting to look more and more like a shell of his former self.

''You can get as much time off as you need to, Joe.'' He said gently.

Joe didn't say a word, getting up and walking out of the office.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Caitlin was making her way into the empty lab when she was stopped by what sounded like crying coming out of the treadmill room. The second she turned around and looked into it, there it was, Iris West sitting on the treadmill, crying, sobbing, elbows on her knees, her face hidden in her hands. The scene on its own was heartbroking. Feeling her own heart clenched in her chest, Caitlin approached the other woman as slowly as she could. Hearing the footsteps, Iris rose her head to check the identity of the person who had entered the room, not even bothering to wipe off the tears cascading her face.

The doctor made her way to Iris' side, sitting next to her, not saying a word, knowing full well how useless empty promises and meaningless chitchat would be. She patiently waited for Iris to be ready to talk. The reporter wiped the tears on her cheek, but her respiration stayed quick and short.

''Deep breathes Iris, I'm here.''

Iris worked on doing what was asked of her, breathing in and out under the hand gently rubbing her back, until she had her emotions under enough control to speak.

''Singh gave up the search, he's classifying Barry's disappearance in the unsolved cases. It's over.''

After all that time, it shouldn't be that surprising, but it still somehow came as a bombshell, reality slapping Caitlin hard in the face. Barry vanished at the end of May and now there were closing in on September, summer had come and gone and they were no closer to find the missing speedster today than they were on that first week.

''Now Barry's only a file and a pile of boxes in storage.'' Iris added, between two sobs.

''Iris…I'm so sorry. We're not giving up here, we won't. You know that, right?'' Caitlin added, trying to comfort her friend, going against her gut feelings at the moment that the situation was hopeless and the captain might be right.

Iris tried speaking, but only ended up sobbing harder, her breath already getting sharper again, so she opted instead to just shake her head.

''No…He's gone, Caitlin…He's d-dead.''

''Iris…'' Caitlin was shocked to see Iris giving up on finding Barry alive. She didn't expect Iris of all people to be the first one of the gang to abandon all hope.

''I can feel it. It's been 3 months.'' Iris said.

What was Caitlin supposed to say? They were going to find him? He was going to be ok? Everything was going to be ok and return to normal? She was in no position to make such promises. Whoever took their friend was probably not keeping him in a 5 star hotel. Was he being tortured? Experimented on? If the responsible party didn't have all the information he needed out of Flash by now, one way or another, after three months, there would be no reason to keep Barry alive any more…

The doctor had been desperately clinging on to the last shred of hope, using the strength of the team to keep fighting. But, she wasn't sure she could keep it up on her own.

_*Please Barry, come back to us, please.*_

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Team Flash started to slowly fall apart in the following weeks. Iris barely even came to the lab anymore and to be fair to her, she didn't really leave her home any more either and while Joe still came by from time to time, but it was getting clearer every day that he wasn't exactly expecting to find his son alive any more.

Cisco and Caitlin still both came daily, but there weren't many leads to look into that hasn't already been explored in the last 4 months. Summer has gone and past, fall was starting to settle in as October grew closer. Felicity and Oliver came back a couple of weeks ago to look in the surrounding towns once more, but they couldn't find any new clues that would finally crack this case wide open. They eventually returned home, empty handed, once more, needing to look into a weird case that the SCPD couldn't quite comprehend. They had a ghost criminal entering and leaving locked houses without breaking or picking any doors or windows. Felicity suspected it might be Metahumans related, but Caitlin couldn't care less about it with Barry still missing.

From time to time, Caitlin would be surprised to see her co-worker hanging on to things that used to be Barry's, especially parts of the Flash suit.

Every time he would try to Vibe his best friend, Cisco would only end up seeing all sorts of random stuff about Barry from different parts of his life as Flash, but he just couldn't get anything that was connected to Barry's kidnapping or anything beyond that point. It used to freak him out that maybe, if he couldn't see anything, it meant Barry was gone, but it didn't stop him from hoping and looking for his friend.

But this time, this time was different. Caitlin could tell the second she entered into the cortex and saw Cisco sitting on the ground, the Flash suit lying next to him, the white symbol in Vibe's hands. He was looking totally lost in his thoughts. There was more pain and fear in his eyes than Caitlin has even seen, pushing her to sit down next to her friend who barely even looked up at her, bringing to the forefront of her mind the talk she had with Iris almost a whole month before.

''He's gone, Caitlin, he's gone and he's not coming back. I can't vibe him anymore.'' his voice almost emotionless, so detached, as he was talking. It sounded just as empty as the engineer was feeling right now.

''What do you mean you can't vibe anymore?'' Asked Caitlin cautiously. ''I thought you couldn't since …..'' * _Barry disappeared_ * She didn't say.

''It's more than that. I tried vibing him earlier. I felt, nothing, I saw nothing.''

Caitlin frowned, unsure to understand what Cisco was talking about.

''I don't get it. You did make a connection, correct?''

''It's...it's hard to explain. Darkness, emptiness, cold. That was all . It felt like all my own energy was being sucked into obscurity. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I'venever felt like that before.''

He finally looked up, his eyes might be dry, but they reflected the pain of a man who just realized, accepted, he would never see his best friend again.

''Someone or something messed with my vibe before, but now there's just nothing to connect with...he's gone Caitlin.''

The scientist looked away as if some invisible force was clenching her own heart, trying to tug it out of her chest. No, no. It couldn't be. She didn't want to give up, she needed to be strong despite witnessing so many people letting go, one by one. But, there it was, the end of the bumpy road. Game over.

''I'm sorry, Barry.'' she whispered to herself so softly she had no idea if Cisco even heard it. In her soul she knew she wasn't strong to keep on searching on her own.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Getting lost under a scorching sun wasn't exactly Dave's definition of fun, why did he even let his girlfriend convince him to participate in this stupid Star City annual rally in the first place? He tiredly dragged his feet in the hot sand, staying closely behind his partner as he was looking around for the next clue.

''Come on, babe, we're clearly not at the right place. I told you, the golden floor clue is not for the sand.''

''What else would it stand for?'' Answered her partner without look back at him.

''I don't know, but there's nobody here, Clara.''

''Look! '' She said, pointing toward the end of the beach, where the sand portion of the beach met grass and wooded area bust still remained by the coast, touching the water.

There was something on the sand, something long and dark that could've been a clue, but Dave only wished he hadn't watch that horror movie last night because he swore it looked like dead b…oh gosh, it was! ''Clara, wait!''

Clara saw it too, but instead of taking off in the opposite direction, she ran straight to it, her nurse instincts rushing in to take over. In an instant, she found herself kneeling next to the body on the ground, lying on his side, wearing a dark hoodie and messy dark blue jeans, the hood concealed any of his facial features. The second Clara took off the hood and she revealed the pale, skinny features of Barry Allen, she recognised him instantly as the missing boy in the news.

She pressed shaky fingers to the young man's throat to check for his heart beat. "He's still alive!" She screamed "Call 911!''


	3. Safe and sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is back with the team, but something is def. different with him.

Caitlin almost didn't pick up the phone when she saw Felicity's name pop up on the screen. Not that she had anything against her Star City counterpart, she just didn't exactly feel like talking about Barry right now, or forever probably. To be fair to Felicity, Caitlin didn't feel like talking in general. The doctor decided at the last second to pick it up, right before her voicemail would do it for her.

''Finally!'' Felicity exclaimed before Caitlin could even greet the girl. ''Been trying to call both Cisco and Joe and nobody is answering. Has everyone in Central City lost their phones or something? What's going on there? ''

''Look, Felicity, if you want to talk about Barry…''

''Caitlin! Barry's alive! He's at Star General Hospital.''

The doctor's heart stopped for a moment or at least, it sure felt like it. * _Alive?_ * . How could this be? Even Cisco couldn't vibe him anymore. Just as fast as she had frozen, her lips started moving again at a pace fast enough to rival Barry's own.

''How is he-? I don't - how – Are you sure? Where did-? Is he...ok? '' She finally stammered out.

''Calm down! Caitlin…Caitlin! '' Felicity waited calmly for the girl on the other side of the line to calm herself down. ''I saw him, Caitlin. It's him, I swear. He's alive.''

There were no sound, no word for a long time, long enough to make Felicity nervous. More nervous than she usually is.

''Caitlin? You're still there?''

Felicity held her breath until she finally got an answer, fearing the doctor had fainted or something on the other side of the call.

''Yeah-yeah…I'm here.''

* _Oh thank god_ * thought Felicity, it was hard enough contacting Central City people these days, she didn't want to get someone else on the phone just to check on Caitlin. Realizing the other girl wasn't going to say another word for now, Felicity continued.

''Long story short. Oliver had a bad run in last night while looking into someone who might have information about The Ghost case. Well, he wasn't exactly running, more like jumping from roof to roof, chasing this guy, well I think he was a guy - anyway, he was able to catch Oliver off guard and he fell off. ''

''Is he….?'' Trailed Caitlin, in a hurry to know what the hell was happening with Barry but also feeling bad that she had abandoned her friends at Star City. Were they still having trouble with that Ghost, almost a full month later? Was the Ghost a Metahuman like Felicity theorized a month ago? Maybe she could've help…

''Yeah yeah, he's ok, just got a pretty bad concussion. I came to pick him up at the hospital when I heard the nurses talk about a John Doe in the hospital. I just knew it had to be Barry. Don't ask me how, I just…knew. I knew he still had to be alive. Some couple doing a rally- or trying to anyways- found him two days ago on the North-East beach coast. ''

''What did he say? '' Interrupted Caitlin, hurrying to the point, her overload mind taking her back to the earlier point of the conversation when Felicity talked about seeing him.

This time, it was Felicity's turn to go silent, which was which quite a feat for her.

''Caitlin…'' She slowly started. ''He…he's been in a coma since he's been found.''

''Oh God.'' Caitlin whispered to herself.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It didn't take long for Caitlin to drive to the West's house, after every one of the 3 Wests failed to answer their phones, so she had been forced to deliver the news in person. Before the end of the day, Joe had already contacted the hospital who could finally confirm the identity of their John Doe and they started the paper file procedures to get the patient transfer to Central City. All of it with the help of Felicity and Palmer Tech who volunteered in a heartbeat to provide transportation and funds for the transfer, not to mention the newly elected Mayor of Star City pushing to get it done as fast as possible.

By the end of the following day, the patient was being unloaded from the plane and his custody was given to the group of people anxiously waiting by the S.T.A.R. Labs van, a group consisting of Caitlin, Cisco, Joe and Iris. They had Wally waiting for them at the lab. There were still a couple of months to go before celebrating the first full year of Wally being in Central City and, damn, that poor kid had been through more adventures and misadventures than most people in a lifetime. Even after being captured by Zoom, Wally still somehow felt like the last four months had been the worst part of the year. He barely had time to really get to know Barry, the real Barry, especially since he only learned about his secret identity less than two weeks before the Flash got taken. Wally tried his best to help, but he wasn't a cop, he wasn't a hacker, there wasn't anything he _could_ do. Guilt had overtaken him, forcing him into isolation. The time he called Barry a coward when he went to fight King Sharp burned fresh in his mind, he should've known better, even without knowing Barry was The Flash at that time…Now that Barry was coming back home, Wally had no idea what he would say once the guy woke up…The nightmare wasn't over just yet.

After so many months, none of them, no one in Team Flash knew exactly what to expect. Being alive was always a good thing, but from the reports the Star City doctors emailed to Caitlin, reports she already carefully read and studied a hundred times before coming to pick her friend up, something wasn't right. Nobody could explain why Barry was in a coma, why his vitals were so weak, but Caitlin was hoping she could figure it out with her medical knowledge about speedsters, something the other doctors didn't have.

Unable to play it cool and wait anymore seconds, Joe started moving, jogging, towards the stretcher moving their way, needing to feel his son again, see him. He didn't even realized Caitlin was right behind him as he made his way to Barry's side: the boy was secured tightly on the stretcher, a nasal cannula on his face, his right arm out of the blanket so the medicals personal could keep the IV in and have a body part exposed for any emergency injection. A mobile tablet attached to the stretcher supported the mobile oxygen tank and a small monitor to keep tab on his most important vitals. Who knew someone could be this pale and still be alive? That's the thought that hit Joe's mind before taking his son's cold and clammy hand in his own, not even noticing that Caitlin was taking charge of the patient.

''You're safe, Barr, it's all over, you can wake up now.'' whispered Joe as Caitlin started moving the stretcher toward the van with determination, forcing the detective to almost jog to keep the pace.

It took less than half an hour before they had the speedster back at the lab and attached to all the monitors, recreating the scene they faced over 2 years ago when Eobard, hidden under Wells' face, had an unknown comatose boy transported from the hospital to S.T.A.R. But, this time around, it was a lot harder for Caitlin to stay in an emotion-free mode as she was working on someone who wasn't just a patient but also a friend, different feelings running in and out, taking over her before leaving their place to another one. One second she was feeling angry at whoever did this, while the other second she didn't care about anything other than the fact, the relief, that Barry was alive, but this moment of happiness was cut short before she was interrupted by her own worrying.

Everyone stayed relatively silence as the doctor examined the speedster and disappeared in her labs to analyze everything, compare it with the Star City doctors' reports. While she was working, the rest of the team found a place at Barry's bedside, all looking like they were stuck in the same rollercoaster of emotions, as their gazes locked on their fallen hero. Well, all of them except Wally who had his eyes to the ground, unable to find the strength to look at the guy he had let down so many times in the short five months he had gotten with the speedster, treating the hero as badly as he could've, without realizing it at that time.

Also hovering in the room was guilt, the guilt of giving up. They had all, at some point, decided that he was dead while he was still alive and suffering somewhere. How could they? Had Barry also gave up on hope? Or had he stayed strong because he knew his friends would never stop searching for him?

''I don't get it, '' murmured Cisco to no one in particular. ''Why did I feel so much darkness, so much nothingness if he's still alive?''

He wasn't sure if he was really expecting an answer, or if anyone even heard him for that matter since the whole team was completely focussed on their comatose friend. The silence was only interrupted by Caitlin letting out a loud sigh.

''What is it? '' asked Cisco, getting up from the chair, worried it was bad news. ''What's wrong?''

''It doesn't make any sense, dammit.'' Caitlin grumbled to herself before turning around. ''There's no wounds, no bacteria in his blood, no sign of any infection or any sign of sickness…I even tried scanning his brain, there's no trauma anywhere. He should be waking up. ''

''Then, why isn't he?'' Intervened Joe, joining the discussion.

''I'm not sure, it's like his body is just…giving up. All of his organs are barely working, but I can't see any physical reason for it. Just like they don't want to or are too tired to. The only visible wound the doctors could find is that burned mark on his chest that's well on its way to healing.'' She said it pointing at the dark, almost round spot close to the speedster's heart that was around half the size it supposedly was the day he was found on the beach.

''But...he still has his powers, right? He's going to get better?'' Carefully asked Joe, dreading the answer.

''I...I don't know.'' Caitlin said hesitantly , but she continued talking quickly before anyone could say anything. ''The good news is that his vitals look better than they did when he was admitted to the hospital, so it's possible he's going to keep improving.'' No matter how confident she was trying to sound like, the doctor was still biting her lip like she always did when something was bothering her. She was aware her habit was well known to her closest friend and could see Cisco observing her, frowning. Before Cisco could intervene, she decided to take the lead and speak her thoughts out loud. ''I need to recheck the last reading send by the suit, but somehow I think that whatever happened to him is very similar to what's going on right now.''

''What is that supposed to mean?'' Said Iris, joining the conversation. ''He had that condition for 4 months and it only got worse? Or someone repeated the action, whatever it was, on Barry?''

All very good questions, but none that Caitlin had answers for. Yet!

''Just…just let me do more tests, I'll figure it out and we'll take care of whatever it is.'' She forcefully put a fake smile on her face to reassure everyone. Being the only one with deep medical knowledge meant everything was resting on her shoulders. It was a great thing she didn't have powers right now, whether it was ice or speed, or she would be using them to murder the people who had done this to Barry.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It had been exactly one week since the speedster had been brought back to the lab and with the speedster's functions slowly getting stronger in the following days, Caitlin got more and more (cautiously) optimist he was going to wake up, sooner rather than later, from that state and hopefully tell them anything that could help them catch the responsible party. There wasn't anyone in the lab who wasn't keen on chasing, finding and taking down the people responsible for what happened, the ones who had hurt Barry, but they all convinced themselves that their place was by the boy's bedside. They were going to find who had done this when Barry will wake up and tell them everything he had seen, where he had been and how he had escaped.

Iris was all alone with him, asleep on the uncomfortable plastic chair by his side, her hand limp in Barry's. She was making sure Barry was never alone whilst her father was working, Wally at school and the rest of the team were somewhere else in the lab. At first, opening her eyes, she couldn't point exactly what woke up her; the lab was still in total silence and it she surely didn't wake up on her own with her battery far from being recharged. It took a couple of seconds to feel it, her hand being squeezed slightly, forcing her to focus on her comatosed best friend and see green tired eyes looking straight at her, small smile on his face.

For the first second, joy overwhelmed Iris, freezing her in place, only allowing her to stare at Barry's eyes. It was Barry's grunt as he started moving around that pushed her out of her state. ''Hey hey hey! You're ok, you're safe. Don't move!'' She jumped on her feet, running to the computer to exclaim to the comms. ''Guys, come up here, Barry's awake!'' By the time she came back to the CSI's bedside, he had already pulled off his oxygen mask and was struggling to get up. Iris tried gently pushing him back down. ''Calm down Barry, you're back at S.T.A.R. Labs. Calm down before Caitlin sees…''

Before she could finish her sentence, they both heard a feminine voice booming in the doorway as she entered ''What exactly do you think you're doing?!''

If Iris wasn't so submerged by the joy of seeing Barry alive and awake, even if he was yet to say a single word, she would've noticed that while Barry stopped in his track, his smile was long gone and his face became emotionless. There was no _Uh Oh I'm in trouble_ he usually had when he got caught by Caitlin in full protective doctor mode or not even joy to see Caitlin again.

''Lay back down.'' ordered the doctor as she made her way to the bed, pushing Barry into a lying position, having more success than Iris. That's when Barry finally decided to speak up to his friends, for the first time in four months, confusion in his voice, just as Cisco was joining the group too.

''What's…happening?''

''You're safe.'' Said Caitlin, not realizing she was repeating what Joe's daughter just said to him, before turning to the rest of the group, unsure where to start.

''Some couple on a rally found you last week. We brought you back here.'' Carefully started Cisco.

''Back? I don't get it, back from where?'' Barry asked, still sounding very confused. While someone with closed eyes could hear the disorientation, the interrogation in his tone, someone studying, scrutinizing the boy's face at the same time could've seen the distortion. The speedster's face stayed mostly unfazed when everyone started glancing at each other.

''Barry…what's the last thing you remember?'' Questioned Iris.

''I was running to the fire…no…I think I went into that fire. I…'' The boy stopped, frowning, looking down, unseeing the concerned, shocked looks of his friends and family. Iris was the one who took the lead, needing confirmation.

''Barry, what date is it?''

''May 29th…30th. I'm not sure.''

''Barry, it's October.'' Dropped Caitlin. ''October 4th.''

''Oh…'' trailed the speedster. His head dropped again, but there was no panic in his voice, in his voice, his eyes weren't opening in shock at the missing time, unlike the people surrounding him.


	4. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team tries to figure out what'S going on with Barry

''What happened to me? Why can't I remember?'' Barry asked, looking directly at Caitlin, finally showing some emotions, looking for answers and help. Small tremors could be heard in his tone, instinctively pushing Caitlin to put a comforting hand on her friend's arm.

''Calm down, you're ok now. Deep breathes, Barry.'' Reassured Caitlin, closely watching her friend breathe deeply.

''You were taken that night, Barry, in the fire. We've been searching for you all over…you just fell off the face of the earth.'' Gently answered Iris, getting her eyes watery at the still way too fresh memories. Barry was closely listening to Iris' broken voice, while contemplating the young woman wipe the fresh tears on her face. It somehow made him fall into an almost hypnotized phase, before simply nodding and turning his attention back to Caitlin with a blank expression.

''Why...why can't I remember?'' The speedster asked, totally serene again now.

''Could be a numbers of reasons Barry, '' Continued Caitlin, trying to push aside the inexplicable, uncomfortable, feeling she had right now just by being in the room with her friend. ''Just let me do a few tests and I might-''

''No.'' No hesitation, harsh. That's how it was spoken, cutting off her sentence. For a fraction of a second, Caitlin could almost swear she saw sparks of electricity passing in his eyes, but she dismissed it; it was probably just the light.

''Barry.''

''No. I just wanna go home.'' The speedster said flatly.

Caitlin was taken back by this, Barry had always been a stubborn patient who wasn't so keen on sitting still and resting, but still, he never refused any treatment so harshly.

''Ok…Barry, ok. No tests, for now. But you need to stay here at least until tomorrow. You've been kidnapped, lost your memories and been in a coma for over a week. ''

''Not my first time in a coma.'' He stated.

Caitlin looked around for help but everyone looked just as puzzled as her about what to do. Iris decided to step it.

''Please, Barry, just one night and you can go home. Promise.''

''Alright…'' sighed Barry before sinking back on to the pillow, deciding on his own the conversation was over.

''We'll let you rest, bro.'' Finished Cisco before eyeing his friends and the exit. Iris glanced one more time, tenderly looking at Barry before leaving, closely follow by the team.

While Joe's daughter was moving away, Caitlin intentionally slowed down to let Iris get far enough so she wouldn't hear the question.

''Cisco, wait.'' She grabbed her friend's arm and stopped, waiting for the engineer to turn around, which he did, questions in his eyes, even while he still had a huge smile from ear to ear.

''Cisco, don't you think Barry's a bit, I don't know, strange to you? ''

''What do you mean? He's back, Caitlin! Everything's back to normal.'' Cisco was clearly overwhelmed by joy with his best friend back from the dead and while Caitlin hated to burst his bubble, she really needed to share her gut feelings.

''I mean, don't you think he was a bit too composed and cool about everything that he's been told? ''

Cisco frowned, his smile fading as he thought back about the conversation before shaking his head.

''Come on, Cait. You heard his voice when he asked what happened, he looked pretty shaken up to me. Give him a chance to process all that information, he's in shock right now.''

''Yeah...you're probably right.'' she said, smiling, even if it felt forced to her. There was something else, something wrong with Barry that she couldn't put her finger on just yet. She witnessed first hand the shock in Barry's eyes when he woke up after his first fight with Zoom and realized he was paralysed. The look she saw on his face wasn't shock, the over composure of her friend was unnerving and there was something about the look he gave her when she talked about testing him that she just couldn't shake off.

Seeing the talk was over, Cisco gently patted his friend on the shoulder and walk away in Iris' footsteps.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Once everyone had left the lab , Caitlin sat next to the bed in the medical lab and tirelessly studied once more the results of the tests she conducted while the speedster was still in the coma, working in an almost complete silence, only broken up by the steady beeping of the monitors, trying not to disturb the speedster's sleep. She needed to find out what was wrong with Barry's memories. The doctor only paused in her work from time to time to take a look at the sleeping speedster, trying hard to not let her mind wander off.

Even if, from Barry's perspective, the time stood still, he seemed changed for some reason. Was that really just shock like Cisco said and she just had a way too wild imagination? * _Yeah, Cisco was probably right. Come on Caitlin, Barry needs time to clear his mind*_ , it's all she told herself * _Everything was going to be ok._ * . Barry was back, alive and mostly healthy. The rest, they could deal with it.

All sense of time was lost until approaching footsteps prompted the doctor to swiftly turn around and jump on her feet in time to witness Joe walk in the lab. She threw one quick glance at the sleeping hero and left the room to go meet Barry's foster dad. She didn't notice the eyelids opening behind her and the green eyes looking at her every move as she left the room, the same eyes who closed just as swiftly when he felt Joe was about to look his way. Even with his eyes closed, Barry's ears stayed attentive to every word.

Before Caitlin could greet the man coming her way, Joe was already talking, his eyes moving quickly from Caitlin to his son and to Caitlin again, mixture of worried and relief all over his features.

''I'm sorry, I've been in a meeting all morning and my phone was dead. Iris just came at the station to tell me.'' He stopped mid-sentence to take another look at his son who hadn't move a single muscle in the last minute. ''How is he? Iris told me about...the problem.''

Only good news of the day: Caitlin wouldn't have to deliver the news, which was something.

''He's sleeping now. I was able to talk a little more with him after Cisco and Iris left, he's pretty coherent and calm. He remembers everything before the night he disappeared; including all of us, where he is and pretty much everything else about his life, which is the good part.''

Joe took another glance at his adoptive son before passing a hand on his head, slowly turning his mental state into a problem solving mode.

''Alright. That's a start. What's the bad part? Why can't he remember the last four months?''

Caitlin bit her lip before answering. ''Honestly, I'm not sure. With all the scans I took yesterday, I can't find any physical reason that would cause an amnesia like this. I would love to take more specific brain scans, but Barry is opposed to any more tests.''

''Why would he refuse? '' Frowned Joe. ''Isn't he worried that something is wrong? Should _we_ be worried?''

''Since there's no head injuries or traumas, we don't have any reasons to get alarmed right now.'' Answered Caitlin, purposely avoiding the first question. ''Look, if it's not physical, it could very be psychological. '' She added, seeing the concern in Joe's face. ''There's some rare occurrence when people suffered through such traumatic events that caused their brain to basically shut out and block these incidents. It's possible his brain does remember everything, but it's blocking it from his conscious mind.''

''What could we do to unblock them?''

Caitlin shrugged, biting her lips. Of course she understood why Joe was so keen on Barry regaining the memories of these last four months; the detective badly needed revenge, or justice, either would suffice, for everything and the memories were his biggest chances to find Barry's captor.

''Joe, look, I understand how you feel and why you want to know more, but if Barry's mind is unconsciously cutting off the memories, it's probably for a good reason. For Barry's sake, it's probably better for them to stay buried.''

Joe's blood has been pumping harder in the last minutes, but at the wise words, he stopped himself and took a deep breath to clear his mind and calm himself. Of course the doctor was right, but could they really let someone go unpunished? He let Caitlin continued.

''Look, the only clues we have are where Barry was found, in Star City and we already have Oliver looking up there. Until he actually finds something or till Barry remembers anything, our place is with him''

Joe nodded, seeing reason, for his son.

''Alright, you're probably right. What's the plan now? ''

''Well, Barry badly wants to go home. I want to keep him here under observation tonight, but tomorrow morning you should come pick him up. Being back at home, with his family, might just be what he needs to readjust. Just don't push him. ''

Joe simply nodded again, his son needed him. Caitlin was right; Barry was his first priority.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

While Barry clearly did expressed his desire to go home and leave the labs, he kept his blank expression all the way home on this cold Saturday, staring outside the car window from his view on the passenger seat.

''So, Barry.'' Started Joe to break the silence. ''Talked to the captain yesterday, everyone at the station is thrilled that you're ok and you can take all the time you need before returning to work. I'm not working 'til Monday, but we can stop by the station if you want, to say hi to everyone.''

''Thanks, I'm good.'' answered Barry with a low tone, not bothering to turn around from his contemplation.

Unconsciously tightening his grip on the steering wheel, Joe looked up in the mirror to share a look with his daughter in the back seat who just shook her head. Not knowing what to do or say, they both felt of no use right now. Moments later, the car arrived in the West house's driveway, taking its place next to Wally's car.

''Look like dinner's here!'' joyfully tried Iris, failing to gain a smile from the hero who looked like he didn't even hear her.

There was no hurrying in getting out of the car for Barry, dragging his heavy feet into the house, where he instantly got greeted by Wally who turned around, standing next to the dinner table where he just finished putting plates on it.

''Barry!'' He exclaimed, smiling ear to ear to see the boy back. ''Welcome home! How are you?''

''Hi Wally.'' He said half-hearted.

''Dinner's ready.'' Said Wally, moving away to let Barry and the rest of his family entering behind the speedster see the open pizza boxes on the table. ''Pepperoni, olives and jalapeños.''

''Thanks, but I'm not hungry. Might just go lie down for a moment.'' Barry said before heading toward the stairs, leaving Wally standing still, unsure how to react.

''It's your favorite, Barr.'' Vainly tried Joe.

''I'm just tired.'' answered Barry, disappearing upstairs, not giving a second look or word to the people behind him.

''Did I say something wrong?'' Asked Wally pitifully .

''It's not you.'' Reassured Iris, touching her brother's arm. ''He's just...I'm not exactly sure.''

''Is he ok?'' Wally asked as both he and his sister turned to Joe who wished he could have the answer.

''I really don't know.'' He said, looking at the top of the stair where his son was one minute ago. ''He will be.''

There was nothing harder for a parent than seeing your children in pain, whether it was physical or psychological. Joe hoped having one of Barry's favorite meals would cheer him up, he wasn't sure where else to start. Hopefully, like Caitlin said, being home would help him get back on his feet. If only, if only he knew what exactly was wrong with his son, that could give him something to start with. Physically, he was fine according to Caitlin, but mentally?

''You think he's still grieving Henry?'' Suddenly added Iris, as if she was reading her father's mind. ''For him, time stood still for months, For Barry, he lost his dad last week.''

For the first time of the day, Joe smiled lightly. Yes, it could be this simple, right? It was hard to put themselves back into their set of mind of May, when they just had defeated Zoom. He wrapped his arm around his daughter to press her on his side, and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

''What would I do without you?''

''That's what I'm always wondering too.'' Iris joked.


	5. Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is finally home, but it doesn't help much while his team works on figuring out what's wrong with him

A couple of hours later, Iris came up the stairs with a bowl full of mac and cheese, knocking at the bedroom's door.

''Barry? Can I come in?''

She put her ear on the door and, not hearing a sound, she decided to take a chance and slowly turn the handle, pushing the door open. Taking a glance, she saw Barry sitting on the bed's cover, wide awake, his face pointing toward the door while it didn't look like his eyes were seeing anything.

''Barry?''

Getting out of his trance, Barry turned his head to look at Iris, a small, forced, sad looking, smile appearing on his lips. Taking it as an invite, the young girl moved closer, handing the bowl.

''Barr, I prepared it for you myself. And, don't say you're not hungry or I'll call Caitlin to tell her you're not eating.'' She added before the speedster could say a word, deciding it probably wasn't a good idea to tell Barry that Joe already called S.T.A.R. Labs.

Apparently, Barry refused to eat breakfast, promising he would make it up for that in the next meal, the one he skipped again. While Barry was skinnier than he was four months ago, he still wasn't a skeleton and there was no reason why he should become one. Under the Caitlin threat, Barry surrendered and took the bowl, eating his first bite under careful eyes. Seeing her oldest friend comply, Iris decided to join him and sit on the small free place on the bed next to him, deciding it was worth a chance to try and get Barry to open up.

''You miss your dad don't you?'' she gently said after a moment, meant more as a statement than a real question. When Barry stopped eating and looked at her, she added. ''It's easy for us to forget that for you, he died last week.''

''Yeah...'' trailed Barry, looking at the other side of the room for long seconds before looking at Iris again who swore there was a hint of emotion in his face. ''It's not just that, Iris, it's losing all of this time. Look, I just need some rest, I'll be alright.''

The girl carefully examined his features with worried.

''Barry, if you're not well and so tired, maybe you should've stayed in S.T.A.R. Labs for a couple of more days.''

''I'll be fine, just didn't feel like staying in there, I can't explain it, I needed to go home.''

While she didn't mean to intrude, Iris just needed to understand what was going on in Barry's mind in order to help him, she just wished he would see it that way.

''It's not because of the fight you had with Cisco and Caitlin the day you disappeared, right?'' Carefully asked Iris. ''Cisco told us all about what happened on that day, that you ran off on him because you were upset.''

Barry seemed like he was reflecting on that before answering.

''It's not that. I just can't explain it, it just didn't feel familiar all of a sudden.'' He took a pause, looking down. ''Please, Iris, just let me rest, I promise I'll be fine.''

''Alright, if you need anything, just call me, I'll be downstairs.'' She said, pushing her legs over the edge of the bed, gathering herself to get up, only to accidentally step on a fallen pillow resting on the ground.

It was in that moment that she set off a chain of events that she never could have predicted. Her foot slipped, causing the reporter to suddenly fall back to where she previously had been sitting on the bed. Reflexively, Iris reached out to try and grab something to help her regain balance, and that's when her hand brushed against the speedster's shirt; right where underneath, near his heart, lay concealed a burn mark. In a fraction of a second, the speedster's movement sped up as he threw his bowl away, sending it smashing into multiple pieces on the ground, splattering food everywhere; and violently moved away from Iris whilst still remaining on the bed. Barry's eyes grew as wide as they'd ever been.

Joe's daughter had grown up one bedroom away from Barry; she could read his expression, his face, his eyes like a book, or at least she thought she could until she found out the big secret he'd been keeping from her. At that moment, when her eyes met Barry's, she had no idea what to make of what she was seeing. He was staring at her with a mixture of anger and fear, but he also radiated hate and distress. He actually looked like a scared deer caught in the headlights, his breathing getting exponentially faster.

''Hey, hey! It's ok, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.'' Said Iris, trying to reach for her friend who instinctively backed away a little more, almost far enough to fall off the bed, the second she started pointing her arm toward him.

She turned to the doors as footsteps were heard, seeing her dad and Wally closing in, probably alerted by the sound of the breaking bowl. She sadly looked at them, shaking her head. There was nothing more they could do right now as the speedster was slowly calming himself.

''Barr? You're fine now.'' Tried Joe, making a step forward in the bedroom, stopping as his son violently shook his head before immobilizing his whole body, looking down. Not a single movement was made by anyone in the room for several seconds until Barry finally looked up. His eyes had lost all traces of angers or distress, going blank and empty once more.

''I'm sorry, it's ok.''

''What happened?'' Inquired Joe delicately .

''Barry….are you regaining any of your memories?'' Tried Iris.

''Just, let it go, I'm fine.''

The boy took back his place near the center of the bed, clearly uninterested in keeping the conversation going.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It was closing at 5 pm and Caitlin had yet to hear a single thing about Barry for the whole day, not a single word since Iris last called her last night. It's been three days since she allowed the speedster to go back home and every phone call she received from the Wests made her rethink her decision. Iris already told her everything about what happened when she accidentally touched near his burned mark, there was no physical reason for the speedster to react this way.

Just as the doctor was about to call her friend, she spotted Joe and Wally entering the room.

''Hey, how's Barry?'' She started, right to the point.

''He's...'' trailed Joe, sighing, letting the door wide open for his son to finish the sentence.

''Same.'' completed Wally.

Caitlin sighed, of course he would. If there had been any important change, Iris or Joe would've called to express their happiness and excitement.

''He's barely speaking, to any of us. He barely said anything after that incident with Iris on Saturday. '' Continued Joe. ''Not to mention he doesn't sleep as much as I would like him to.''

''Is he still having nightmares?''

''Yeah. He woke up again last night screaming and thrashing.'' Answered Wally for his father, rubbing his tired eyes as his sentence reminded his body that it needed more rest.

''It's the 2nd time he's had those in the last three nights and each time, he doesn't want to talk about it. I keep talking to him, but I can't get through him.''

''At least'', added Iris' brother, ''he hasn't reacted again as badly as he did when Iris touched him near his heart.''

"Why would he react like that?'' Asked the Detective.

Caitlin had been asking herself that same questions over the last day, searching for a logical explanation. Every time she would think about Barry, her mind would play back the intense look, the lighting in her friend's eyes. Had she really seen it? She'd never seen Barry look at her like that.

''Look, whatever happened to him had to be severally traumatic for him to lose all the memories of it. Whatever information his mind is trying to keep from Barry has to be very bad. It's more than possible he's going through some form of PSTD. '' Explained the doctor, trying to sound more convincing than she was feeling.

''From stuff he can't even remember?'' Joe frowned, sceptical.

''It's possible. Unconscious minds are still mostly a mystery. Barry's body and mind might very well react to a trigger related to what happened during these four months, a trigger that Barry might not be able to pinpoint without having access to his memories." She paused as if she was done speaking. "If I may add,'' She quickly enchained seeing Joe was starting to open his mouth to reply. ''Nightmares are also a sign of PSTD, sign that his brain is trying to deal with the information.''

Joe closed his mouth, passing his hand over his face, processing everything himself. It somehow made sense, sort of. In his career as a cop, he's seen lots of people and cops see stuff dark enough to cook their brains so much they ended up living in their own little fantasy world.

''Do you think it's possible Barry still remember what happened and doesn't want to talk about it?''

Both the doctor and the detective swiftly turned around towards Wally at the same time and stared, unsure they had heard correctly because no way would Barry lie to them, right? Not about something that big. The Wests turned their attention back to Caitlin who started stuttering.

''It's...it's...possible...I guess.'' She took a pause to regain control. ''I just can't see Barry lying to us. Why would you think that, Wally?''

''I don't like it any more than you do, but you said it yourself: he has no physical signs of any trauma, or any physical cause for his amnesia. Someone had to say it and I feel like nobody was going to.''

Wally had a point there, despite the guilt he felt for treating Barry the way he did before he learned about his secret, that boy (who was in a weird way his brother) was probably the least emotionally compromised of them all. The idea did cross Caitlin's mind, but she just pushed it away without a second thought. She sighed deeply.

''If, and it's a big if, that's what is happening, I just hate the possibility that Barry doesn't trust us enough with the truth about what he had to endure. But Wally you're right, it is on the list of possible explanations and we need to consider it.''

''You really think that Barry would lie so we wouldn't push him into talking about it? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it'' Joe felt he was getting all worked up, having trouble with both his son and Caitlin teaming up against Barry, or at least that's how he perceived it. After everything Barry endured, how could they doubt him so easily?

''I think we need to remember that Barry's been gone for 4 months.'' Stated Caitlin.

''I know that, Caitlin! You know I do.'' Interrupted Joe, instantly elevating his tone without wanting to. Of course he noticed the absence of his son for months, it wasn't something he was going to forget anytime soon.

''Just, hear me out, alright?'' Caitlin waited for a second for Joe to nod. ''Barry's been alone, on his own, for long, without anyone he could count on, without any of his friends and family. All he had to survive was himself, his thoughts. That would surely cause anyone to close himself up, bottled up all his feelings inside and not open up so easily. And I mean, anyone. He might be The Flash for most of the city, but Barry is still human like most of us. No matter what's really going on with him, we'll need to be patient. Don't get me wrong, even if we're talking the possibility he might be hiding his feelings and thoughts, nobody is judging him for that, we won't.''

So many possibilities, so many explanation, which one was right? Between Iris theorizing he was simply still grieving the consequences of the battle with Zoom, Caitlin's theory about his son's dealing with PTSD and now this. Bit of everything? For one moment, Joe egoistically wished Henry was still there, not for the man himself, but only because he desperately needed someone who could connect with the speedster and get into the same mind set.

Joe might've raised the kid since he was 11, but he wasn't his biological father. Barry and Henry always had a special connection, one that maybe, just maybe, could've pierced right through Barry's wall. Sighing, Joe turned his attention back towards Caitlin.

''I hear you, but what can we do? He's already closed enough that if he is lying to us, I don't want to push him further away and if he's telling the truth, the last thing he needs right now is the people he's supposed to trust the most accusing him blindly.''

Of course he was right, Caitlin wasn't a psychologist but she sure wished she was with everyone around her looking at her for all the answers.

''If Barry is hiding something from us, once he gets used to being around us again, he'll open up. We just need to stay by his side until he's ready to do it. Patience is really going to be the key word till we get our Barry back.''

While the whole conversation between Caitlin and Joe was going on, Wally stayed silent, had been for a moment now before he finally decided to speak up with what was on his mind.

''There might be another possibility...What if Barry is just scared?'

''What do you mean?'' Inquired Joe.

''How did he escape?'' Answered Wally with another question, not really expecting anyone to answer. ''What if, Barry gave in and gave the person who had him everything he wanted?''

''Wally, I'm not sure I'm following.'' Told the boy's father as Caitlin just stayed silent, observing the exchange.

''What if Barry would get free once he give some information, but only if he didn't tell anything about his captor?''

''Let's say for a moment you're right, you really think Barry would keep his word on that?''

''He would if...''

''He's afraid for our safety.'' Completed Joe catching Wally's sentence midway. ''If his captor threatened our lives, that would make him go silent''

Wally nodded in agreement. .

''I just wish he would tell us what's going on.''

Before anyone could answer back to Joe, they all stopped talking and turned around the second a sound came from behind them. They couldn't let Barry hear their conversation. But, it wasn't him, nor Iris who came into view but the Team Arrow, Oliver and Felicity.

''We need to talk'' Oliver announced without introduction. ''The Ghost is in Central City and he's probably behind Barry's disappearance.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment, let me know how you like it and if you need me to keep posting that story here


	6. Enter the ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Arrow and Team Flash are getting ready to chase the Ghost down

''The Ghost? The criminal you thought was a Metahuman, and that you've been tracking for a month now? That's the one?'' Inquired Joe to Oliver.

''Yes.''

''And you think he has something to do with Barry's disappearance? Why?''

This time, it was Felicity's turn to step in and speak up.

''The night before Barry was found in Star City, there was a rich collector living less than 5 miles away from the beach who went missing that night and reappeared, dead, last week, with a round burned mark on his chest. ''

''Like the one Barry has?''

''Yes, the exact same one at the same place. And two days ago, someone else disappeared in North Central City, same M.O.; someone entered the home of another rich collector without any breaking signs, doors got unlocked from the inside and the collector went missing. Same thing, he reappeared 24 hours later, burned mark on his chest and is in a coma right now at the hospital.''

Finally, the break they needed to crack that case wide open, the one responsible was right in front of them and he wasn't going anywhere, not until he was locked up. A new energy filled the room, mixed between relief that the trail was hotter now than ever and anxiety that the Ghost might slip between their fingers again. Joe was going into full detective mode, they needed a way to get this guy's name, his real one, not the nickname given by SCPD.

''How can you tell the door wasn't already opened or our suspect wasn't just let inside?''

''In every attack the Ghost made, unless he took something or someone with him, doors and windows always stayed closed and locked. Including the attack in Central City. In the last month, the Ghost attacked 5 people that we know of and a private auction. In three of these cases, he beat up the owner badly and left without taking anything, without breaking or opening any locks. In the last 2 cases, he kidnapped his victims.''

What was that guy looking for so badly? And why keep his victims for only one day while he took Barry for months? Was he looking for information, an information Barry refused to give in for months? If Barry gave that information, why keep searching? What about that weird burned mark?

''Were there any fatalities? Witnesses?''

''So far, we have two people in the coma and two dead, including the comatose person at Central City's hospital and the one who's still in Star City after the beating he took. One of the people this guy beat up was found dead in his house, but there weren't any marks or visible injuries on him that could explain his death.''

''Let me get this right, he only marks the people he takes out of their home?'' inquired Joe, frowning. Something wasn't right with this picture, they were definitely missing an important piece of their puzzle. ''What about the rest of them? They must've seen something, right?"

''That's where it gets weird, well weirder, in the two cases where he simply attacked the people in their home and they survived, none of the victims saw the attacker. In both of these cases, it was a third party who called for help; the victim's wife and the neighbours who heard the commotion, but didn't see a thing either.''

''So, we're talking about an invisible man? Is that possible?'' suggested Wally, intrigued.

''Is that really a question?'' Asked Joe, after all the meta-human cases he saw, nothing was surprising to him anymore.

Wally answered by shrugging. "Yeah, right, dumb question probably, there was no limits with these Metas."

''But wait.'' Interrupted Caitlin, realization hitting her. ''You don't think that the Ghost is coming after Barry again?''

Instantly, the room felt colder, shivers running up the spines of Barry's family and friends, memories flooding in again. No way in hell this guy, this Ghost, was going to get his hand on their speedster again. Why else would the Ghost be in town again after all these months unless he was here to bring back his prisoner to wherever he had previously been kept? But it wouldn't make sense to search for Barry in collector's houses...

''We need to find that Ghost before he finds Barry again.'' Determinedly said Joe while clutching his hands.

''Have all the victims been collector? Anything taken? Collecting what exactly?'' inquired Wally, keeping his cool, something the people around him were having a hard time with at the moment.

It was Oliver's turn to speak up. ''3 of them were indeed, all collecting magical artefacts and books. I heard the other name from a friend a mine who knows a thing or two about magic and he apparently was a big magical expert.''

''A friend we know?'' started to ask Caitlin, but her question went mostly unheard when she got suddenly interrupted by Wally's incredulous tone.

''Magic? Magic is real now?'' Metahumans was one thing, weird science, but still science. But, magic? Really?

"You're still sure you want to be part of this team?'' Smirked his dad.

''We should set a trap for the Ghost.'' Suggested Oliver, ignoring the exchange between father and son, staying focused on the task.

''First thing first, I think we need to get something clear; we can't let Barry know the Ghost is back, he's still recovering.'' Added Caitlin.

Probably a good call, despite of the state the boy was in, he would probably get out there and hunt his enemy down. What he really needed right now was rest, physically and mentally, in the meantime, his friends and family could take care of the rest. It barely took a second or two for everyone to agree on that.

''I'll go check on Barry, call me if you find anything.'' Quickly added Joe in a hurry to check on his son. After losing him for 4 months, he wasn't going to let him out of his sight with his captor back in town. Wally just stood there, unsure if he needed to follow his father or stay here and Caitlin probably understood his expression because she instantly added:

''Go, I'll call Cisco, we'll be fine here. Make sure Barry stays out of trouble.''

Yeah, easier said than done with that guy. Wally sent a 'Wish me luck' look right before turning around and rushing out.

***FLASHFLASHFLASH***

Oliver sighed loudly before putting his phone down again, pushing Cisco to lift his head up and look over the desk.

''Everything's fine? ''

''Yeah, my friend was supposed to look inside this Ghost case for me to see if he could find a pattern, but he still hasn't call me back. I just wish we could know what he's really after.'' *Other than Barry*, he completed in his head.

''Let's take this from the start.'' Getting out of the medical bay, Caitlin joined the conversation and started recapping the situation. ''We know that the Ghost is searching for something magical and can pass through walls undetected. ''

''He needed a speedster for some reason.'' Said Cisco, adding to his friend's point.

''And burned his victim close to their hearts.'' Completed Oliver, pensively. ''Which lead us to….''

''Nothing. So we basically have nothing.'' Responded Cisco, lowering his head; scratching his forehead as if this would help him put together all the pieces of the puzzle.

''Maybe not nothing, well, it's not exactly something, but it's not nothing.'' Started Felicity, stumbling on her words like she always did. ''I've been doing some research on that burn mark, it's been found on dozens of people all over the world for just under a century now. All the people who disappeared, reappeared in a coma with that mark, only to die days or weeks later at the hospital. First case is dating back to 1924.''

''Felicity, You can't possibly think we're talking about the same guy, can you?'' Asked Oliver.

''Well…'' Started Cisco. ''Aren't we friends with two hawks people who have been reincarnating for 4000 years?''

''I guess so. '' Sighed Oliver, unhappy yet resigned. ''So, definitely not a meta-human that we're dealing with. Anyone have any idea how we catch him?''

''I don't know how, but I think I know the where and when. I was able to find out there's an auction in town tonight with mystical objects on sale. ''

''Alright, I'll go. '' Volunteered Oliver, what else was he supposed to do? Even if they didn't exactly have a plan at that moment.

Wind and lightning rushed into the room, signalling the arrival of a speedster, a clearly unhappy one. The second the whole gang turned around and saw the face of Barry, standing right in the middle of the room, they were all left frozen on their spot, even Oliver, which was saying a lot. After so many days of watching him be numb and indifferent to everything, they didn't expect him to show up with all that anger on his face.

''What the hell is going on here?!'' His eyes were moving from one face to another, glaring intensively.

''Barry.'' Tried Caitlin, moving a step forward in the direction of The Flash, trying to sound as innocent and calm as she could, despite the uneasy feeling growing in her stomach, the same one she felt the day he woke up. ''Are you sure you should be using your speed right now? Maybe you should...''

''Don't try to distract me.'' He rudely interrupted the doctor. ''Joe was too insistent on wanting me to stay inside, I knew there was something going on. Oliver being here only confirms it. You found him, didn't you? The one who did it? Where is he?''

''Barry, bro...''Cisco started gently, trying to calm down his friend, only to get interrupted again when a burning glance instantaneously looked in his direction.

''Where. Is. He?''

''We haven't caught him yet, but he's back in town.'' Finally ceded Oliver .

''Whatever the plan, I want in.'' Firmly stated Barry.

''I'm not sure that's a good idea, Barry.'' Said the doctor in the room who had time to recover her emotional state and was ready to stand her ground against the speedster. ''You still haven't fully recover.''

''I'm fine.''

''You might feel fine, but we have no idea what you endured in the last months and you just woke up from a coma, who knows how much speed and stress your body can withstand right now?'' And let's not mention that if they decided to give the green light and let the speedster go, if anything was to happen, Joe would probably bite off all of their head.

''Listen to her.'' Nervously added Felicity, unsure of how to react around the boy who now seemed like a total stranger, like someone she hadn't seen since that time when Barry ended up under the influence of Bivolo, the Rainbow Raider.

''Things didn't change did they? You still don't trust me? I can take him down!'' Insisted Barry, anger and electricity flashing in his eyes.

Caitlin glimpsed at Cisco for help but the scientist looked just as helpless as she was feeling right now causing the girl to start fearing the speedster was simply going to sprint away and search out there on his own. He could get caught and disappear again, maybe forever this time.

''I'm coming with you.'' Settled Oliver without consulting the rest of the team. ''Joe and Iris won't have to know about this, but you need to take me with you. It's not negotiable, you're taking me for the ride.''

It was as good as a compromise as any; they couldn't risk Barry running away on them, something he could do at any moment without any way to stop him, might as well send him out with someone else. Caitlin was silently praying she was making the right decision, was it worth it to shoot him again and put him in the pipeline until the Ghost was apprehended? Maybe it was selfishness but one of the main reasons stopping Caitlin, other than the fact that she didn't think the speedster would let his guard down long enough to get a shot, was her fear he might never forgive her this time. She needed so badly to gether old friend back.

Caitlin and Cisco both stood there, looking at the silent battle between Oliver and Barry, staring intensely into each other eye, neither giving an inch.

''Fine, I'm coming with you.'' sighed Barry. ''So, what's the plan?''

***FLASHFLASHFLASH***

Trying to get a nomination for the worst idea of the year, the Team covered up, reluctantly, for Barry, calling in Joe to tell him his son was back at the labs and was going to stay there with them for a couple of hours. All they needed to do now was pray the Detective wasn't going to go check on Barry's alibi.

''Stay close.'' Ordered Oliver, in a tone leaving no place for argument. Barry grunted but didn't reply, striding in the dark alongside the Green Arrow as they grew farther away from the S.T.A.R. van, in which Cisco and Caitlin were standing by, ready to intervene , just in case. It was the first mission for the speedster since that night, everyone wanted, needed, to be over-prepared. Nobody was going to take Barry again without a fight. In fact, nobody was going to take Barry, period.

Step by step, they closed in on the old looking building located in the southernmost part of the city, a district not recommended for children or any respectable adult, especially at night, with all the shady people and activities going on. It was like a mini Star City inside Central City. The auction going on in the big bar tonight wasn't exactly illegal, but you needed an invitation to get in and bid on all the magical objects and artefacts on sale.

''We're closing in on our target.'' reported Oliver to the people listening on their progress. ''Felicity, get ready to start the alarm and get everyone out.''

''I'm ready.'' She confirmed from her seat in the labs. ''Just be careful.''

There definitely was hesitation in her voice, Oliver knew her well enough to tell it was coming from fear and he knew that even if part could be concerned for him, she was probably way more anxious about the speedster who shouldn't even be out there and in his red costume tonight.

''We will.'' Answered Oliver while looking directly at Barry's back, determined not to let him out of his sight, before reporting his attention to the bar's entry where they could see at a distance, rich and mysterious looking people still entering.

''Wait, you heard that?'' inquired Barry, stopping next to an alley.

Immediately Oliver frowned, he hadn't heard a single thing while he was usually the one with sharp senses and awareness of his surroundings.

''I'll check it out.'' Whispered Barry, moving away, leaving lightning and swearing from the Green Arrow behind.

''Guys, what's happening?'' Worriedly asked Cisco on the radio hearing Oliver's swearing. ''Why's Barry running?''

''He heard something and wondered off.''

''Dammit Barry.'' Of course he knew it was a bad idea to let Barry go back in the suit, he wasn't nowhere near ready mentally. They all knew it. ''Barry? Answer us, man.''

The radio silence was deafening, Caitlin kept a very close look at the Flash's vital who stayed mostly steady and the GPS showing he was still pretty close to Oliver. ''Barry? Tell me your position.'' Tried Oliver, in vain.

''Aaarrgg!'' Barry screeching in pain over the radio made everyone's blood run cold, it was that night all over again.

''Barry!'' They all screamed simultaneously! ''Barry, what's happening? Where are you?'' Screamed the Arrow into the comms.

''The Ghost got me, going after him.''

''Sound the alarm, the Ghost is there!''

Oliver's eyes tried piercing through the night and the dark alley, even if he fully knew that at the speed Barry could go, he could be anywhere by now. He barely even heard the fire alarm or looked at the running people rushing outside.

''Does anyone has his position?'' He asked, hoping the GPS was still working.

''He's in the building now, his vitals are all around the places, he's fighting someone, hard….Wait he's coming your way!''

On the corner of his right eyes he swore he saw yellow lighting coming his way, merely a second before someone or something hit him at high speed, projecting him meters away. Rolling on the ground, he stretched his arms to grab anything he could to stop his sliding, only succeeding in scrapping his gloves on the asphalt. Grunting between his teeth, the Green Arrow got back on his feet, more alert than ever.

''It's a speedster! The Ghost is a speedster!'' He exclaimed into the mic, staring into the darkness, searching for any sign of their target. Instantly, the Vigilante tensed when he saw more lighting coming his way, before expelling all the air all at once when the speedster stopped in front of him, revealing himself as Barry.

''What the hell are you doing? He's going to escape because of you!'' Angrily accused the speedster, rage in his eyes and tone before flashing away once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment!


	7. Don't know me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ghost escaped and Barry is NOT happy with Oliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back on the website with a lot more stories and the end of that one, if anyone is still interested after all this time.

''Barry wait!'' It was already too late, Flash had already run far enough away that he couldn't be seen, disappearing into the darkness.

''He's in the building, quick!'' Answered Cisco to his silent question, still following every movement from his friend on the GPS.

Pushing through the pain, Oliver groaned while getting back on his feet just in time to hear a window breaking from the inside. As the Vigilante sprinted towards the building, he started to hear more and more battle sounds; punches, grunts of pain, rapid breathing. Damn speedsters, the Green-cladded hero started getting more and more worried with each passing second, fearing he was going to arrive too late. One thing for sure, Barry's adoptive father was definitely going to kill them all tomorrow for letting Barry come out in the field.

He felt a rush of wind right before yellow electricity passed right next to him, throwing the Green Arrow back on the ground. * _Barry_ * He thought, alarmed. * _Please, be there and please be fine*_. Getting up once more, he rushed right through the still open front door, scanning his surroundings in the dim light.

''Barry? Barry!'' he called, the speedster's name got caught in his throat before he could call it another time when he finally saw the young man: slumped against the wall, unmoving, and silent. As he grew closer to the immobile speedster, Oliver could finally discern the damages the Ghost did to him; bloody and probably broken nose, right dislocated shoulder and glass deeply impaled in his left shoulder, arm and side, probably from being thrown into the window earlier.

Oliver knelt next to his friend, trying gently, but firmly to rouse him.

''Barry? Can you hear me?''

No answer. Sirens could be heard in the distance, fire department was on the way, responding to the fire alarm call. No time to waste, time to get away before the first responders would be on site.

''We need to get out of here, bring the van closer.'' Called Oliver on the comms while keeping his attention on his friend. ''Barry's unconscious.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Team Flash wasted no time in picking up the unconscious speedster and rushing back to S.T.A.R, getting back there in no time. Barry started to open his eyes, disoriented, as soon as the van made a stop in the facility's garage. Despite his confusion and shaky legs, the injured man insisted on going upstairs on his own power, without any help, which he did. Slowly but surely he made his way in the medical lab where Caitlin could confirm her initial diagnostic she did in the van that the wounds were mostly superficial. Well, except a small bump behind his head that knocked him out and a small concussion going alongside, but the doctor was affirmative her patient was going to be just fine...he just needed to agree to stay put and rest.

It didn't take long for the whole team to be back in the cortex with Oliver trying to explain the best he could everything that took place tonight, surrounded by both Felicity and Cisco. Closely by, sitting shirtless on a chair was Barry, cold eyes and open ears locked on all of them, listening to every word while his doctor friend was still taking care of his wounds. The young man didn't even flinched as another piece of glass was sharply extracted out of his arm, all his attention still toward the conversation. His right shoulder has been put back into place and was resting on a temporary splint.

''Are you sure it was a speedster?'' Asked Cisco to the Green Arrow.

''Pretty sure, he was incredibly fast.''

''Did you see the Ghost or all you saw was lighting? Maybe you only saw Barry's lightning and the Ghost was really invisible? ''

''I…'' Oliver frowned. ''I'm not sure. I saw lightning coming my way and saw it later in the building, but I didn't see the Ghost exactly. I thought you guys said that the explosion created all the Metahumans, am I wrong? ''

''Yeah, pretty much.'' Answered Caitlin, pausing in her task of taking care of Barry. Well, except Trajectory but it probably wasn't another case of V.9 user. Or, was it?

''How can this guy be a metahuman if he was already out there killing people one hundred year ago?'' asked Star City's vigilante.

_*Good question.*_  Speedsters could technically time travel if they reach a high enough speed and the right mental state to create a breach in time; Eobard was a good example of that. Except, it clearly wasn't the Reverse Flash's M.O. to just travel back, burn couple of people and move on. Why go through all this trouble to time travel and risk getting caught by the Time Wraith when you could find all the victims you needed in the present?

''Unless we're not talking about a Meta-human.'' Theorized Cisco. ''Kendra and Carter have powers.''

''So we could be talking about another immortal with superpowers.'' Concluded Oliver, clearly not happy about the prospect. The Arrow turned towards Barry. ''You probably saw him, right? ''

''Of course, now you wanna know my opinion.'' He spoke, annoyed, clearly emphasizing the 'now'. Going from annoyed to angry in a fraction of a second, he got up in one sudden move, snatching his arm from Caitlin's grasp. ''Of course I saw him! I wasn't busy sitting on the ground doing nothing like some of us!

''Dammit Barry, don't move. '' Scolded Caitlin, raising her voice, really starting to get fed up of Barry's mood swing and rude attitude. ''I'm almost done patching you up, you're lucky he didn't do worse to you.''

''He's wearing this dark blue speedster's suit." Continued the speedster, ignoring the comment he just got from the doctor, but he didn't seem to discourage her to come back at it.

''Your healing powers don't seem to be working as efficient as they used to. You shouldn't have gone out, you're not ready yet.''

Charging back at the young man wasn't such a good idea. The second she finished her sentence, Barry angrily pulled on the sling keeping his shoulder in place, breaking the clip so he could reach his opposite arm and violently yanked out the big last remaining glass piece still sticking out of it. Instinctively, Caitlin took a step back from the speedster, for just a second there she swear she saw Zolomon standing right in front of her, with the same anger and violence surrounding the speedster. Fear was taking over.  _*Calm down, it's just Barry*_  she tried to tell herself,  _*Zolomon is dead*_.

Not caring for the pain in his shoulder and the blood flooding from his hand thanks to the newly opened cut he caused by grabbing the glass piece with his bare hands, Barry pointed at Oliver with the glass, accusingly.

''You almost got us both killed! You slowed me down! I was too busy keeping this bastard away from you to actually catch him!''

Lighting sparkled around his arm as the speedster suddenly threw the glass on the ground, watching it shatter into pieces all around the room, around everyone's feet. Instinctively, Oliver's eyes looked at the direction of his bow, mentally calculating the time it would take to reach it on the computer's desk, next to Cisco and Felicity who were throwing nervous looks at each other. All of it went unnoticed by Barry who only had eyes for the archer.

''You should leave before you get anyone else hurt. You can't help us.''

''It's funny because I sure can remember helping calm you down when you got affected by Bivolo , not to mention helping against Wells last year too.''

''I can take care of him, we don't need you.''

''Really? I don't remember your first encounter with the Ghost going so well.''

Oliver didn't mean to turn so harsh, but he was quickly losing all his patience.

''I escaped him once, I can beat him again. Just go away.'' Coldly repeated Barry.

Fine. If that's how it was going to be with him.

Cisco frowned behind the desk, something was wrong with this last sentence. What did it matter if Barry escaped once if he can't remember? Unless…

''Have it your way.'' conceded Oliver, frustrated, taking his coat and bow and walking away, only stopping halfway to make sure Felicity was coming too. Getting the message, the hacker awkwardly got up and trailed behind.

_*All right, enough was enough.*_  ''What the hell is wrong with you, man? You've been acting weird since you came back. Hell! You've been at everyone's throat since we beat Zolomon. I'm sorry your dad died, I am, but Oliver didn't deserved any of this, none of us do. Who are you really mad at? Yourself or Zoom?''

''Cisco's right, you're not yourself.''

''How can you two possibly tell?'' Barry angrily responded. ''Because you've known me for less than 2 years? You don't know me, you never did.'' Shouted Barry, before shutting off.

Before any of them could continue the conversation, they heard loud footstep sounds approaching quickly, angry footsteps. The expression on Joe's face clearly confirmed it as he appeared in the cortex.

''Where is he?!'' He commanded, until his eyes fell upon his son, noticing the broken sling, the blood on his opposite arm, the blood in his hand and the bottom of the Flash suit he was still wearing. His anger turned to Barry's friend. ''I thought you were supposed to keep him here. You let him go out there?'' He accusingly pointed at his son while his eyes were alternating between Caitlin and Cisco. ''Iris' editor called, there's been reports of the Flash running around tonight. You lied to me!''

Caitlin decided to step up for her friend; as tired as she was on his attitude, she wasn't feeling like throwing him under the bus just yet.

''I'm sorry, Joe. We thought that everything would be fine with us in the van and Oliver with him.''

''I see that did well.'' The Detective answered back, looking at his adoptive son who seemed fine just going back to sit in silence like nothing happened. ''What's wrong with him?''

''He has a dislocated shoulder, minor concussion, and mostly superficial wounds, he'll be fine. I just want to keep him until tomorrow night to make sure he's okay. ''

''If he's staying, I am too. '' Stubbornly answered Joe.

Barry scuffed at this behind. ''Sure, now you care. ''

The speedster didn't even look at everyone turning around to look at him.

''What's that supposed to mean? '' Queried Joe, accusingly, causing Barry to look up right in his adoptive father's eyes in a way Joe never saw before, almost with disdain.

''If you really cared, you would've found me in these 4 months. Guess I shouldn't be surprised since you locked me up in the pipeline just before that. ''

Not interested in an answer, the hero got up and walked away toward the medical room, looking resigned to stay the night at S.T.A.R. labs to quiet everyone. What were they supposed to do? It seemed like there was nothing left of their old Barry, the friend, the son, they knew and cared about was gone. All of Joe's anger was long gone, replaced by sorrow, confusion and feelings of helplessness. Joe was at a total loss of what to do; was he partially responsible for all of this, when he agreed on putting Barry in the pipeline to stop him to go after Zoom?

The detective let himself fall into the closest chair, hand on his forehead, fighting the despair that he might never get the son he knew back.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''What do you mean you're going back? I thought we were leaving town, not that I want to leave town, but you said we were. ''

''Look, Felicity. '' Answered back Oliver, putting on his hood and taking his quiver. ''I know I snapped last night, but something's not right with Barry and we need to figure out what, I owe it to Barry, the one who's my friend, our friend. ''

''You really think the Ghost is coming back to the same place? What makes you think he didn't take what he came for last night?''

''It's a long shot, but I'm hoping he had to run away before he could find what he came for with me and Barry in the way. ''

''You don't think we should tell Barry's team about what we're doing?''

''No, the less people know what we're doing, the less chances that Barry is going to find out and in his state, he's only going to compromise the mission again.''

''Alright…Go get him!''

By the time Oliver arrived on the scene, on the spot he's been last night and looked around, taking in his surroundings, he noticed how quiet everything was. Too quiet. Raising his head, he noticed a dark silhouette on the roof of the warehouse next to the bar, a figure in a dark blue speedster suit like the one Barry described. There he was, the Ghost, looking right at the Arrow. It felt like the Ghost had been waiting for him, obviously Barry wasn't the only one wanting the Arrow out of the city.

''You need to stop chasing me around.'' Commanded a vibrating, authoritarian voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment


	8. VS The Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity try a new way hoping to finally trap The Ghost, or at least found out his identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully 2 chapters in a row will help you guys forgive me :)

The speedster took off running, lightning entering the nearby warehouse and stopping there. Obviously a trap, but Star City's vigilante hoped he could outsmart his adversary, rushing in the dark after the speedster.  _*Damn speedster…the things you're making me do, Barry.*_  Crunching as he entered the premise using a broken window, Oliver was keeping all of his senses on high alert, waiting for the attack; there wasn't anyone around, but to be fair it was pretty dark in there. Despite the only light coming out from the small room in the corner, and a pretty dim one at that, the Green Arrow was able to take a good look around. Everything was one big open area, except for that one room from where the light was coming from. Well, that and the stairs at the opposite extremity that went up to the attic or down to the basement. Slowly, Oliver made his way into the abandoned warehouse, moving as lightly as possible, trying to avoid making any noise, which wasn't an easy task in this old building.

No lightning or speedster in sight. Creaking upstairs prompted the archer to look up, bow up, noticing only now the hole in the floor. No wonder this place wasn't an active workplace anymore, it was falling apart. Oliver swiftly turned on himself seeing a yellow flash behind him, just in time to see the lightning charging his way.

Quickly, Oliver brought his bow up to protect himself just before the quick flashing spot connected with him, sending the vigilante flying into the opposite wall, next to the door. Quickly recovering, the archer got on his elbows, looking around before getting back on his feet. There he was, the Ghost, immobilized right where he hit the Green Arrow, looking right at his victim. It was hard to tell from the distance and the dark, but it almost looked like he was smiling. Hoping the Ghost would fall into the same trick than Barry did two years ago, when the Scarlett Speedster was under Rainbow Raider influence, Oliver quickly drew out of his quiver and shot 2 arrows in a row in the direction of the speedster, who easily dodge them, laughing, mocking.

''That's all you got?''

''You're about to see.''

One second later, an explosion made itself heard, deflagration pushing the arrogant speedster forward, falling on his knee. Got you!

Fast enough to make Barry proud, the archer took out another arrow, aiming at the speedster's legs. Great job for the aiming, not enough for the speed. The diversion failed, the Ghost turned around and grabbed the arrow coming toward him. Cursing, Oliver barely had time to register his plan A failed that the Ghost was coming at him again, tackling the archer on the ground once more. Oliver felt himself be thrown, kicked away, landing near where he entered. Except, this time, he heard a way too loud creak and the ground breaking under. Everything went into slow motion: he could see the speedster approaching, eager to see the fall, he could feel the floor give away under…his last clear thought was that he needed to get that Ghost, for Barry, for everyone who care about the man, for the whole city who needed their hero back. Grabbing one last arrow, he aimed faster than he ever had in his life and just let it go. Before Oliver even had the chance to see if he actually hit his target, everything was lost in pain and broken pieces of woods.

Everything became confused the moment Oliver connected with the ground underneath, a full level lower, his vision blackening as the pain took over his body, feeling like he just broke all of his bones. He could feel consciousness leave, but he needed to know if he did it. Barely raising his head and opening his eyes, despite the shaky and blurred vision, he noticed the blue shape closing on the edge, looking down. It was impossible to see the expression of the speedster, but the archer could discern the other man reaching for his leg and sharply yanking something out.  _*Got you*_  was Oliver's last thought before everything went dark.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

A voice screaming in his ear was the first thing Oliver was aware of as consciousness slowly but surely came back to him.

''Oliver? Oliver! Answer me! Answer me dammit! Oliver!''

''Feli…ci…?'' He mumbled weakly, before understanding it was coming from the comms in his ear and he needed to activate it first. ''Felicity?'' He repeated, a bit strongly.

''Oh thank God, I thought he took you or killed you, not that he can't both take and kill you. Did he hurt you? Of course he did, or you would've answered a lot faster.''

''Felicity!'' He said louder to stop her, slowly sitting up and staying in the position, waiting for the dizziness to pass. ''I think I was able to inject him with the tracker, my second arrow hit him. Please tell me we have a signal.''

''I'm on it. Are you ok, dammit?''

''Think so.''

''You know that's not an answer. ''

Oliver grunted as an answer as he slowly got up on his feet, his arm instantly reaching for his side, definitely some bruises ribs. At least his limbs felt ok, they'll probably be sore for a couple of days, but nothing felt broken.

''How long was I out?''

''Only a couple of minutes.''

''Arrrgg.'' The hiss of pain as he made his way to the stairs escaped his lips. Alright, maybe a couple of his ribs were broken. Hopefully, they finally had a way to locate the Ghost and he wouldn't need a third round with the guy. He paused for a second to really analyze if he was hurt elsewhere; his head was hurting, but the dizziness was mostly gone for now and while he felt sore all over the place from his fall, the only other persistent pain was in his left shoulder. He got lucky this time.

Seconds were passing and there was still no answer.

''Felicity? Did the tracker worked?''

''Give me a moment, alright?'' He heard furious tapping on the keyboard as Oliver suppressed the too familiar feeling of pain and started jogging upstairs. Once he was back on top of the stairs, he kneeled to get back his arrow on the ground. He knew the speedster would take it out quickly, but still hoped his arrow had time to inject the tracker in the Metahuman's system. ''Got it!'' Exclaimed Felicity. ''The Ghost is running toward the North side of town.''

Oliver listened to her as he was rushing outside, going right to his bike. This guy was going to pay. He could barely wait to finally get answers and maybe found a way, beat it out of that guy if needed, to get their old Barry back.

''Oh god...,''

''Felicity! What is it?''

''I think he might be heading right for Barry's house. He's going after Barry again! He'll hurt his family and take him again. We need to call Barry, warm them.''

''Wait! Don't call them'' Unexpectedly commanded Oliver as a thought struck his mind faster and harder than lightning, a dark thought hitting his mind as he was thinking back to his two last encounters with the Ghost,

''What?! Why?!''

''Just trust me...'' No matter how confidant Oliver sounded, it wasn't representing how he was really feeling. He needed to trust his instinct on this one, desperately hoping he was right and yet, hoping he wasn't at the same time. Whether he was right or wrong, things were about to go downhill. Or they could go from bad to worse if he was right...and the Ghost was still on his way to hurt the Wests. Oliver tried comforting himself at the idea that no matter what, there was no getting there in time, even for Barry. Still, it didn't stop the pit to appear and grow in his stomach as Oliver climbed on his motorcycle and started speeding toward the West's house.

''Felicity, what's happening?''

''I'm...not sure.'' She slowly started, fear and confusion creeping in her voice. ''He arrived at the West's house and he's not moving.''

After agonizing minutes, Oliver finally arrived close to his destination, stopping far enough in the dark before the residents could see him there.

''The Ghost moved?''

''Not since he arrived there, he's still standing still.''

''Listen to me, here's what we're going to do.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It was still pretty early in the morning when Felicity entered the lab, frantically looking around, only witnessing people arguing around instead of finding the one person she was looking for. The moment they saw her enter, all of Cisco, Caitlin, Iris and Joe turned around and closed on her position.

''What's wrong?'' She asked, looking around, unseeing the young speedster. ''Have you seen Oliver? He went out last night and he hasn't come back.''

''Barry took off last night from the lab again, before Caitlin discharged him'' Said Joe, sighing, out of ideas what to do with his son, acting like he didn't even heard the part about Oliver.

''What do you mean? Barry's gone? In the wind?''

''No no, he came back home, I found him in his bedroom when dad called to say Barry took off. Wally's still with him now.''

''Guess he really hates being around us now.'' Sadly sighed Cisco who barely had the chances to exchange couple of words with the young man since he came back. Barry was always eager to get out of there these days.

''What's wrong then?''

''It's just…'' Slowly tried Joe. ''If we can't control him to stay here for just one day, there's nothing we can do to stop him from rushing after the Ghost again if he want to.''

''Right now I'm more worried about Oliver, he went against the Ghost like night.'' Said Felicity as she hurriedly took a seat behind the computers and took out her tablet from her bag, going unnoticed as she connected to her program and her tracking system of the Ghost.

Seem like mentioning the archer a second time caught the team's attention this time, bringing them to remember all the sudden what Oliver said before leaving yesterday.

''I thought you and Oliver checked out of town.''

''He found the Ghost again? Where?''

Before the tech girl could answer, they got all interrupted by Joe's ringing phone. ''I'm sorry, it's Wally.'' he apologized before walking a couple of steps away, but still close enough for everyone to hear if they kept silence, which they all did. ''Wally what is it? He ran off again?!''

Wind rushed in, making Barry appeared in the room in jeans and a plaid shirt, scanning the people present, like he was searching for one person in particular.

''Now you show up here. You wanna be here or not?'' Irritably stated Cisco, annoyance taking over, sick and tired of Barry's attitude.

''Maybe you should stop worrying about me and start worrying about your own problems.'' Coldly said Barry before turning around and scanning the people in the room once more, stopping at Felicity. ''Where's your boyfriend?''

''That's what I'm wondering too...'' She trailed, biting her lips. ''I'll try looking again.''

She put her concentration on her tablet screen, glancing quickly around to make sure the attention in the room shifted to Barry before sending one quick message: ''He's here. Can come.''

By the time she looked back up, Caitlin and Joe were already on the speedster's case.

''You really want to get yourself kill don't you? Thought we agreed on you staying here for the night.''

''And I thought you said I was going to be fine.''

''Yeah...you probably will once you've rested enough to allow your healing power to completely come back. Barry, you're the only person we've found who's been burned by the Ghost and survived. Not to mention you got hurt again yesterday, you shouldn't be back running already.''

''Whatever.''

''Oliver!'' Suddenly exclaimed Felicity as the other missing man slowly entered the cortex, grunting as he was holding his side. ''What happened last night? You didn't come back to the hotel.''

He rose his hand to stop her from hugging his hurt ribs. ''The Ghost pushed me down a whole level last night, tried to shoot him, but I missed.''

''Where is he now?'' Interrupted Barry.

''He's in the wind, back at square one.''

Mumbling something incomprehensible under his breath, Barry walked away from the group, closely followed by Caitlin who probably had a thing or two to say about the speedster running on his watch. The rest of Team Flash looked at each other in confusion before deciding to follow, but keeping their distance.

''So?''

Before answering, Felicity looked down at her tablet, sighing, almost whispering. ''Yeah, the Ghost is in the med bay right now. ''

Oliver looked down on the computer screen, the tracker he put last night in the Ghost was still active and was walking around the cortex, going right in the medical area, following the exact position of Barry. Barry was the Ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment, always deeply appreciated


	9. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team take action after figuring out Barry is actually the Ghost, the speedster they've been trying to apprehend

''How is that possible?'' Finally asked Felicity after a long moment of silence, taking everything in. ''It doesn't make any sense, why would Barry hurt those people, why hurt himself for that matter?''

''I'm not sure, yet, Felicity.''

''How did you know? When you told me not to call Barry.''

''I'm not sure, I just knew, it seemed to make sense. I thought of when Cisco asked me if I actually saw the Ghost or if I only saw the lightning the other night; I only ever saw Barry that night. It also explains why Barry was so mad at me for being there, why he didn't want me on the case; he was afraid I would find out his secret. ''

Felicity closely watched with concern as Oliver shifted most of his weight from one leg to the other, clenching his teeth in a hopeless attempt to hide his discomfort.

''You should have Caitlin take a look at your injuries.''

''I will once we know Barry can't hurt any of us.''

They both stopped talking at the same time when they saw in the corner of their eyes Cisco's figure getting closer.

''How is he?''

Cisco sighed. ''He looks fine, physically. Caitlin's checking him over to make sure of it. He shut us out again.''

''Alright, look.'' Interrupted Oliver, gravely, before lowering his voice and adding on a tone that was leaving no place for answer. ''We need to talk. Have everyone meet us near the elevator. Just, make sure not to raise Barry's suspicions, alright?''

''Wait what?''

Oliver had already turned back before Cisco even had the time to finish pronouncing these two words, leaving him no choice but to turn on Felicity.

''What's going on here? I don't understand''

''Just, do it. We'll explain everything. Trust us.''

He left no choice but to make sure the engineer went and did what was asked of him; going back in the med lab to join his friends and the speedster. Whatever the engineer told his friends, it clearly had nothing pointing toward Team Arrow, which was pretty much what was asked, judging by the way the group of people stopped in their tracks the second they saw Oliver and Felicity around the corner, serious looks on their face. The only person missing, well besides Barry, was Iris.

''Cisco, what is this?'' Inquired Caitlin, turning to look at her friend.

''Barry's the Ghost.'' Typical Oliver, no warning, just dropping the truth bomb.

''It...it can't be.''

''What? No way?!''

''How can you tell?''

''Wait, what?''

Oliver just stood there, waiting for the first initial shock to pass before speaking up again. ''It's him. Last night, I was able to get a hit on the Ghost and inject him with a tracker in his leg.''

''Wait, I thought you said the Ghost escaped.'' Raised Joe, frowning.

''I didn't want Barry to get suspicious we were onto him. When he ran out of here last night, I'm sure he went unchecked for a couple of moments before getting back home. Am I wrong, detective?''

Joe really thought about it: when he realized Barry was gone, he quickly called his children, but it took a couple of minutes before the speedster came back. But, that alone wasn't proof of anything. His mind wasn't ready for the possibility just yet.

''He did, but how does that make him the Ghost?''

''After we activated the tracker, we followed him to your house and right now, he's in the med bay.'' The Green Archer nodded to Felicity to take her tablet up, showing the rest of the group the flashing point only meters away. ''Like Cisco said, I didn't see the Ghost, only Barry. Plus, last night, I tried distracting him with the same trick I used on Barry twice and he acted like he knew exactly what was coming.''

What if Oliver was telling the truth? The proof was there, except for the stuff that didn't seem to be adding up or make sense. If, let's stress the  _if_ , Barry was the Ghost, the criminal they've been hunting down for over a month now, there probably was a very good explanation. Caitlin had her head low, starring at the floor without even realizing she was doing it, it would surely explain all the uneasy feeling she's been feeling about Barry since he came back.

In the group, Cisco clearly looked like the most skeptic one.

''Yeah, maybe, but come on, when you faced the Ghost with Barry, he got hurt. His injuries weren't fake, I helped Caitlin threat him. You think he hit himself?''

''Reverse did it, at Christmas.'' Answered Caitlin. ''He faked a fight match to cover his tracks, to make sure we wouldn't suspect him of being who he really was.''

''I thought you were on my side!''

Not wasting any time to defend her friend's position, Felicity spoke up: ''The last series of attack started 3 months after Barry disappearance.''

''Exactly.'' Quickly added Cisco. ''3 months after he disappeared. Why not start right away? And who killed that man and brought the body back during the time Barry was found on the beach and transported to Star City's hospital?''

Joe wasn't buying it either, not yet, and Cisco had a point. At least, not totally: ''You guys don't think Barry just kidnapped and burn himself too don't you?''

''Felicity, I thought you said there's been victim for almost a whole century now. Unless we're now saying he's immortal?'' Added Cisco to his argument.

''No, I don't think he kidnapped himself. '' Clarified Oliver. ''I believe we were wrong thinking there was only one person behind the attacks; Barry was probably doing the dirty work of entering into people's home and taking what he needs before reporting to whoever took him. He was definitely reporting to someone.''

Taking everything in, Joe scrubbed his beard. ''But why? Why would Barry even agree to work for someone, for a murderer? Why not come to us for help?''

While the detective was finishing his question, he flashed back to the chat he had with Caitlin and Wally. Looked like he wasn't the only one remembering that moment since Caitlin jumped back in the conversation.

''Maybe he's under some sort of influence, or threat.''

"We need to go ask him.'' Answered Joe, ready to turn his heel and head back to his son.

''No, we can't.'' Firmly stated Oliver. ''If we do that and he is under some kind of influence or control by someone, we'll only let him know we're onto him and make him run off, in the best case scenario. We need to be careful, put him in one of your cells until we know what's wrong with him.''

''We can't do that.'' Snapped Joe a bit more than he intended to, his brain flashing back to the last time they did it not that long ago. He couldn't put himself and his son through this again.

''Detective, he already hurt people.'' Answered Oliver, carefully avoiding talking about the one guy who got killed in his house during one of these attacks. ''Until we know what his captor has on him, we need to be careful.''

''He's right, Joe.'' Cautiously said Caitlin. ''We need to figure how what's wrong and this is the first step. '' She looked around to see if anyone would volunteer and since nobody did, she continued: ''Let me do it, give me 2 minutes with him. ''

*****FLASFLASHFLASH*****

''Everything's ok?'' Asked Iris when she saw Caitlin coming back alone.

''Sure. Just wanna check the test results.'' The doctor smiled, hoping she would be able to sell it, especially to Barry who was closely looking at her every move. She sat down as naturally as she could, typing on her shaking fingers. So many questions in her mind, so many emotions. She hated the idea of what she was about to do, but if Oliver was right and Barry was hurting people, he needed to be stopped. Everything looked good with the tests, everything seemed fine with the speedster, physically at least.

The doctor got up, swallowing her saliva and trying to make her next lie sound as convincing as she could. ''Congrats, with your stunt and the glass that entered your skin it look like you're starting a small infection in your blood.''

''Are you sure?'' Worriedly asked Iris, taking a look at Barry's arm. ''This look like it healed fine to me.''

_*Dammit Iris, why do you need to be so smart?*_

''It's probably nothing and it will probably go away on his own, just don't want to take any chances with everything that just happened.''

While still talking, the doctor went to her medicine cabinet and took a syringe out of it. ''This should take care of it, one shot and you can go home.''

She wasn't really expecting an answer, but she wouldn't need one anyway. Being careful to prevent her hands from shaking and act as normal as possible, Caitlin walked to her patient and started injecting the content of the syringe into her friend's arm who was still looking, frowning.

''You might sense a little something, don't worry, it's normal.''

Caitlin closely watched the content go right in the speedster's arm who looked up at her after a couple of second.

''I feel...'' He froze, realizing what was happening to him. ''You drugged me!'' It was no question, but a fact, an accusation. In a fraction of a second, his almost lifeless expression and eyes turned black. Well, not literally, but the features tensed, his eyes filled themselves with hate and rage Caitlin had never seen before in Barry. She couldn't say she never saw this look at all, because she had, for a second there she swore she was standing right in front of Zolomon, back in his lair on Earth 2.

''You've betra...yed...me!''

''Watch out!''

At Iris's scream, Caitlin was taken out of her stupor and quickly dodge the fist coming her way, barely avoiding contact. The angry speedster struggled to get out of bed at super speed, only ending up stumbling with the lighting sparkling on and off of him in the cortex, before falling right in the middle of it, out like a light. Caitlin straightened herself up, still shaking, the picture of Hunter still haunting her mind, taking control of her body for long enough for Iris to go unnoticed by the doctor as she ran toward Barry, turning him on his back.

''What have you done!? What the hell is going on around here?''

''I'm sorry, honey, we had no choice.''

Iris turned around to see her dad, Cisco and Team Arrow coming in, sorrow striking their features. Getting a grip on herself, the doctor joined them while Joe and Oliver were already preparing themselves to carry the speedster, letting to Caitlin the hard job of explaining what was going on to Iris.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It barely took a moment for the whole group to get Barry down the pipeline and lock him up.

' _Did we do the right thing?'_  Joe remembered asking barely a couple of months ago to his daughter.  _'Yeah, we did'._  She answered back. It was such a hard choice the first time around, a choice that didn't lead to anything expect almost killing Joe.

But this time, it was different, they weren't locking the speedster up for his own security, but for everyone's security. Despite all the evidence collected against his son, the detective still had troubles absorbing and believing all the information, the truth before his eyes. There just had to be an explanation for all of this, and a damn good one at that.

Just like last time, they all waited outside the cell for the sedative to wear off. They needed answers. As soon as Barry opened his eyes, he wasted no time getting back on his feet and despite his questioning tone, all of them could hear the anger vibrating in his voice.

''What are you doing? Let me out. ''

''We know.'' Gravely stated Joe. ''We know you're the Ghost.''

''You have no proof! Let. Me. Out.'' The anger just kept on rising with every word, looking at everyone in the room one by one, searching for the one person who was going to let him go. They had nothing against him.

''We do. The arrow I hit the Ghost with last night had a tracker in it, a tracker that somehow ended in you. ''

They knew, there was no denying it now. In an instant, Barry's annoyance and anger turned to pure hate, malevolence, his body's stiffening. The cat was out of the bag, might as well let everyone see it.

''You will pay for this! I will kill all of you''

When he locked his glare on Caitlin, the evilness in the green eyes made her blood run cold. The venom in them was strong enough to make the strongest of men tremble in fear, she couldn't even imagine Zolomon keeping his face composed with that look aimed at him. There was no stopping the dread spreading in her whole body. The coldness, the cruelty in his voice…there was no describing it at this moment. All the emotions passing in those eyes were scarier than anything she'd ever imagined in her worst nightmares.

''You….You'll be the first, I kill you the second I'm out...then, you're next.'' His eyes moved to Cisco who shivered. Looking straight at the speedsters' eyes made him feel like he was looking at Death himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment
> 
> *evil laugh*


	10. The real me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they have Barry/Ghost trapped, the team start to think and work on figuring out what's wrong with him

''Barry, please son, listen to what you're saying. You're not yourself. ''

For a moment, the contemptuous laugh was the only answer they got.

''Oh….it's me. It's finally me, the real me. You couldn't see the real Hunter and the real Eobard when they were right under your nose and yet you really think you could see who I really was?'' The speedster took a pause to chuckle. ''It's hilarious. ''

''No! I won't believe this. '' Cisco's emotions erupted unexpectedly.

''Do you really think I care what you all believe? That I even care about any of you? That I ever did? It's adorable.'' The disdain was clear in every word. ''You're all so gullible. It's going to be the end of you. ''

''Barry, we've been through enough to know what you stand for, who you really are. No matter what's going on with you, we'll fix it. '' Caitlin tried calmly.

The speedster scoffed. ''Like you're such a good judge of character. You can't even kiss a serial killer without knowing it. This  _IS_  the real me. '' Barry's gaze moved over to Oliver. ''Should've killed you last time, I won't make that mistake again. ''

''You're not getting out of here.'' Firmly said Oliver, walking straight to the control panel and closing the door, efficiently cutting their view to the speedster and getting everyone out of the trance Barry had sent them into, shock was a more accurate description. They knew something was wrong, was off, with their friend, but nothing could've prepared them for the way he had just acted, the words he had just said.

''I think we need to talk about this.'' Added Oliver, moving away from the cell.

Everyone was numb and in total silence the whole time it took to get back to the cortex and to treat Oliver's wounds. Not a single word was spoken for what felt like forever. No matter how hard it was believing the criminal that had been hurting and taking people was Barry, what they witnessed was a whole different thing. Everything felt like a dream. Well, more like a nightmare really.

''I….it can't be him. '' Stuttered Cisco, looking straight into nothing, even if his face was pointing toward the cortex. ''He's not himself. He's just…..''

Cisco paused mid-sentence, desperate to find anything, any rational explanation would do. Anything rather than Barry's explanation. There was no way the guy who's been his best friend for years now was just a mask, a façade, a lie.

''He's just afraid.'' He finally completed, even if his brain knew it wasn't making any sense and nobody was buying it either.

''No…'' replied Caitlin, stopping for a moment to treat the injured vigilante. ''It wasn't fear in his eyes, it was rage.''

''Rage? Do you guys think it's possible that Bivolo is back? Or any other Meta having the same power that he has?'' Asked Joe, hopefully jumping on the first logical conclusion he could think of.

''I'm sorry, Joe, but I doubt it.'' Answered the doctor. ''I have yet to see his eyes change colors like they did when Barry was affected. ''

''Ok…'' The detective scrubbed his hands together as if this would help him think. ''Maybe…mi…''

''Mind control!'' Completed Cisco, struck by the same thought. It has to be. The person who took him just has to be controlling him.

''Maybe, but there's just one problem with that.'' Answered back Caitlin, prompting Joe to sigh.

''Of course there is…''

''When Grodd had mind control over Eiling's mind, his brain's activity was off the chart, which wasn't the case with Barry's brain scan I took.''

''But you only scanned Barry when he came back, days after he was found on the beach, days from the last time his captor had his last chance to influence him. '' Counter-argued Joe.

''How about you help us find what's going on instead of destroying all our ideas? '' Added Cisco, annoyed to see all their theories being crushed just as fast as they were getting out, without any consideration.

'' Maybe that's why he refused to do anymore test, he knew you could figure it out. '' Continue Joe, clinging to his idea.

''I…don't know.'' Replied the doctor, shaking her head. ''There's one possibility we haven't consider yet…. '' Grimly stated Caitlin, not looking anyone in the eyes.

During all of the discussion going backward and forward between the main members of Team Flash, Oliver and Felicity just stayed silent, observing and listening to everything, unsure what they could add to the conversation. Iris was also on the side, having already called her brother and waiting for him to join the group in complete silence. She felt like her whole universe just collapsed under her. The initial shock still haven't left her. She knew what Caitlin was about to say, the only possibility that nobody seem to be ready to face or think about. What if everything had been a lie? What if everything they thought they knew about Barry was just a trick? It couldn't be, she had known him for almost her whole life, almost his whole life. Something was wrong, they just needed to figure out what. Barry needed their help.

It took a moment for the rest of the group to catch up and understand what Caitlin meant.

''No…No! You can't be serious. '' Suddenly shouted Cisco. ''You can't seriously consider that Barry, our Barry, our friend, is and has always been playing us.''

''Cisco, I don't like to consider it either, just the thought of it makes me sick, but we have to think about it. Jay played us, so did Wells. We didn't see them coming ''

''Barry's not evil! He's a hero''

''So was Jay, he was considered a hero, a symbol of hope on his Earth.''

'' I can't believe we're talking about this while our friend need our help to fight whatever is affecting him!''

''Cisco…'' Caitlin tried reaching for his friend, but Cisco was already gone, rushing outside the med lab and going straight for the cortex's exit.

It barely took him a moment to get down, desperately needing an explanation, desperately hoping that the friendship he came to know had been real and could still come back. As soon as he unblocked the view to the cell, his eyes got to meet his friend's intense glare as the Flash's been staring at the glass none-stop since the group left.

''Well, well, what do we have here?'' Smirked the fallen hero. ''Getting ready to let me go, aren't you?''

''Barry, we can help you.  _I_  can help you. Whatever is going on with you, you need to tell me.'' Almost begged the young engineer.

''Wow…'' Scoffed Barry, shaking his head in an almost imperceptible manner. ''And here I thought you guys had the capacity to understand what I said the first time around.''

It was really hard for Cisco to keep it cool, determined not to let any of the lies go to his mind.

''Just tell me what happened to you. You're my friend.''

The only answer he got was vicious, malicious laugh until Barry decided to speak again. ''Why come down here if you're not ready to listen to the truth?''

''Because I know you, you're not yourself''

Barry snorted, walking away from the cell door ''Keep telling yourself that, you'll feel so stupid when it finally sinks in. I knew you weren't smart enough to figure it out on your own, but I thought even your weak mind could grasp the fact that we...'' as the speedster was speaking, his body turned around, facing the glass again, before hitting the glass as hard as he could, causing Cisco to jump in surprise and fear. ''We were  _never_  friends.''

Cisco didn't miss the smirk in the speedster's face the moment he noticed the fear in the engineer's life. ''You're learning fast.''

''No, I won't believe that, I can't. If it was true, why save me from Reverse Flash when you sent him back to his timeline months ago? You told me you couldn't let him take someone else you cared about!''

''You're so naive, of course I would've say anything to keep you under my control, I knew your powers would come useful eventually. I was right. ''

The young man clenched his fists, he couldn't keep it anymore, nothing he was saying was getting anywhere. He was so concentrated in the talk that he didn't notice Caitlin walking behind him, striding between him and the wall and reaching for the control panel, effectively closing the door again, cutting the sound, without giving any glance to their prisoner.

''You don't have to listen to any of this. '' She gently said, extending her arms when her friend slightly turned his head, letting the girl see the tears appearing in the corner of his eyes. Taking the invitation, Cisco reached for his friend, taking her in his arms just as she was going the same.

''It's not him….we have to save him.'' He said, sobbing.

''I know, Cisco. We will. Come on.'' Walking away a couple of feet, waiting for Cisco to follow her, and he did.

They walked just outside, joining the rest of the group in the hallway. Everyone from Team Flash was there, waiting for them, just like Felicity and Oliver, supporting himself on the wall to release the pressure off his newly treated injuries and broken ribs.

''Felicity might have found something'' Stated Oliver, prompting Cisco and the rest of the gang to turn toward the hacker.

''It's something, but it's not really that much of a something.'' She quickly added, stumbling on her words.

''Get to the point.'' Interrupted Joe, not really in the mood to wait or play guessing games.

''I'm not sure how that's going to help us with Barry…'' She paused for a couple of seconds, before hurrying to tell what she was about to, sensing the looks of everyone on her. ''Looking back at the archives of the victims who had the same burned marks, I noticed something interesting. The first case is from 1924 but the second isn't before 1943, then 1958, 1972, 1983, 1992, 1999, 2003…. ''

''What does it matter?'' Interrupted again Joe.

''It's closer and closer.'' Concluded Iris.

''And it was always one case every time until 2 victims were found back in 2008 and since 2010, there's new victims every year. Their numbers growing up every single year, the only exception being now. No victims were taken and marked between the time Barry's kidnapping and the first Ghost attack.''

Everyone took a moment to take the information in before Cisco spoke up.

''No offence, but I don't see how's that helping us with Barry.''

''We don't know yet.'' Answered Oliver. ''But it's another piece of the puzzle that we need to consider. ''

''Maybe I go try and talk to him?'' Nervously tempted Felicity.

''Nothing we say is going to work.'' Quickly answered Cisco, shaking his head. ''It's like he's possessed or something. ''

Cisco paused at that word,  _possessed_ , as a genius idea just struck him. ''That's it!''

Caitlin smiled sadly, as much as it pleased her to see her friend's spirit was still there despite what was happening, she needed him, and the whole team, to be as focused as they could be right now.

'' Come on Cisco, possession is not real...''

''Caitlin's right.'' Added Joe.

''Maybe we should just grab our salt guns? Or splash him with holy water?''

''...what?'' Answered Iris for all of them, looking as confused as the whole gang.

''What? Supernatural anyone? You guys never seen that show? On the CW? Come on!'' His attempted joke failed badly, only getting confused looks in return.

During the whole exchange, they all missed the intense glare of Oliver, frowning in concentration.

''Well…'' He slowly started, making everyone's attention turned on him, realizing how seriously he seemed to consider Cisco's intervention.

''You can't be serious!'' Exclaimed Caitlin.

''Seriously? You guys have multiple universes, time travel and magical friends and you draw the line at demons? '' Replied the Green Arrow.

''Maybe…but, magic is one thing, but actual demons? Come on! Possessions is not real!''

''I know a guy... ''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Everyone had been waiting for hours now in the cortex, waiting for Oliver to come back with his friend who could possibly help them finally figure out what was wrong with Barry and bring the real hero back. There wasn't much that could be done other than look every once in a while at the computers' screen where they could see live footage of Barry walking none-stop in his cell, only stopping to blow some steam by screaming at the camera or hitting the walls, rage overtaking him.

''I hope this friend of Oliver's will heal him.'' Said Wally, breaking the silence.

His sister closed on him, putting a comforting hand on Wally's shoulder. ''Me too. Barry's strong, he'll pull through ''

It was at that moment that Oliver decided to make his entrance, closely followed by a man almost as tall as Oliver with messed up, short, blond hair and wearing a beige trenchcoat over a clean suit and red tie. Oliver wasted no time making presentation.

''Everyone, this is my friend I've been telling you. This is John Constantine. John, this is….''

The second the man opened his mouth, right after Oliver finished presenting who everyone was to his friend, his heavy British accent could be heard.

''Hey mates, heard you needed some help around these parts.''

As he spoke, he handed over his business card to anyone interested to take it.

''Exorcist, Demonologist and….Master of the Dark Art? Really?'' Read Iris out loud before handing the card to her dad, turning to Star City Vigilante. ''Are you serious? Where did you find that guy?'' Oliver just shrugged to answer.

''That guy, love, is the one who's gonna help you figure everything out. Now, where's your problem friend?''

''He's downstairs, locked up.'' Answered Oliver, showing the computer screen of the angry young man.

They turned on the mic of the cell as they witnessed Barry's lips moving. ''….out! I'll consider giving you a quick, merciful death if you let me out, NOW!''

All eyes turned to the new-comer.

''Can you help him?'' Added Oliver.

''Well, there's one way to find out, isn't there?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had way too much fun writing this chapter, not sure what it say about me... *evil laugh*
> 
> Leave a comment :)


	11. The wounded man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the team has John Constantine helping them, they work on figure out what's really wrong with Barry. Has he really been playing them for the last 2 years? Is he possessed? Or is it something worse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You deserves answers for your patiente, so here we go!

''I gotta be honest, mates.'' Finally added Constantine after observing the man on the screen for a long moment. ''I can go downstairs, but it doesn't look like possession to me.''

''Just humor us.'' Said Cisco, arms crossed on his chest. At this point, they had nothing to lose testing every theory they had.

''Alright, lead the way.''

The archer complied, walking in front, closely followed by Joe, determined to be by his son's side, no matter what, and Wally just behind.

Cisco made a couple of steps to follow, but stopped when he noticed that nobody else was coming.

''You guys ok? Coming?''

''I'll just…I'm gonna watch from here.'' Hesitated Caitlin, still fighting tremors, trying to regain her calm from the recent memories, the words Barry directed toward her: ' _You'll be the first I kill the second I'm out'_. There was no reason to doubt that he wasn't bluffing. Her fear could be sensed by everyone still in her room, unconsciously prompting Cisco to walk one step in her direction before being interrupted by Iris.

''It's ok, go. '' Her hand went to her friend's shoulder while her eyes moved toward Felicity for confirmation. ''We'll stay with her.''

''We will.'' Quickly confirmed the tech girl.

Reassured, Cisco turned on his heels and jogged to catch up with the guys, joining them just as they were getting ready to open the panel keeping their speedster friend hidden. Maybe he should've stayed upstairs too. * _Come on Cisco_ * he told himself, * _your friend needs you right now, even if he doesn't think so_ *. He stayed strong as the Green Arrow and Constantine exchanged a couple of words before finally opening the panel, letting the fallen hero appeared before them, glaring intensely with the same level of hate he had moments earlier, burning inside, chuckling the second his eyes fell on the new member of the team.

''I see you guys already replaced me, that didn't take long. Maybe now you can consider letting me go.''

''You know we won't do that, not until you're cured.'' Calmly stated Oliver before turning his attention to his other friend. ''What do you think?''

''Something's not right here, mate, I can feel it, I hope I'm wrong. Stay back.''

Without hesitation, the Green Hero moved a couple of steps away, joining the rest of the group, all of them praying everything was going to work out and they would be able to finish the day taking a drink with Barry. The real one. The four of them instinctively took another step back when John rose his arms, pointing his open palms toward the cell door to cast a couple of incomprehensible sentences in Latin. All of this only resulted in the speedster laughing harder.

''Really? Are you seriously thinking I'm possessed? That's really pathetic.'' He mocked.

''If that's how you wanna play.'' Taking a pause, Constantine turned around to the people behind. ''Open the door.''

''I don't think it's safe.'' Frowned Oliver.

''Just do it.''

Making sure the comms were activated in the room and the girls upstairs could hear everything, Cisco spoke up for them.

''Can you knock Barry out for a moment? Like what we did last time we transported the Metas?''

''Working on it. '' Replied Caitlin's voice. ''Constantine; just make sure that whatever you're about to do, do it fast and be careful. Didn't make that gas for speedsters, can't tell how long he'll be down.''

''Don't worry love, it won't take long before I can get the exact information I need.''

''I can promise your death will be slow if you do this.'' Threatened the speedster, only to get his warning totally ignored by everyone around as, moments later, gas was invading the whole cell, pushing the hero to rush over to the door, brutally knocking against it. It didn't take long before he eventually surrendered and slumped against the door, his whole body completely limp.

''Get in, but be quick.'' Repeated Caitlin as Cisco was already approaching the control panel to open the door.

This guy might not look much, but Constantine sure could move swiftly when he wanted to, he made his way to the unconscious speedster and knelt next to him, his hand going straight to Barry's forehead, pressing against it.

''Show me your real colors!'' He shouted in total concentration before switching to Latin.

Contrasting with what he tried before, what he did this time had a real effect and an unpleasant one at that. Barry's eyes started moving violently under his eyelids and tremors appeared in his hands as his face twitched in evident pain.

''Stop! You're hurting him! '' Protectively grunted Joe, his instinct telling him to go interrupt whatever was happening, but Cisco grabbed his arm before he could move.

''Joe, wait.''

To be honest, it was 60/40 on not doing anything, nobody said anything about hurting the young man. As the speedsters featured only got tenser, Cisco's certainty was reducing pretty quickly, 'til the point a scream from the fallen hero erupted in the room. Enough was enough, Joe snatched his arm from the engineer's grab and strode forward, forcefully grabbing the man and hauling him away and on his feet before anyone had time to react, effectively cutting off the connection.

''What the hell were you doing?!'' He yelled to the other man, turning his head, relieved to see his son's body going completely limp again.

Well, limp was a bit of a stretch considering the young man's heavy breathing. Cisco and Wally were at the hero's side in an instant, trying to check him over at the best of their knowledges, which wasn't much but Cisco had some experience assisting Caitlin in taking care of the speedster.

''Detective, it's enough.'' Intervened the archer, gently but firmly taking Joe's shoulder to get him off his friend, which he did, getting back his composure.

Constantine simply wiped his hands on his coat but didn't say a thing, it clearly wasn't the first time something like that happened to him.

Seeing that Barry looked fine, from the outside at least, both Cisco and Wally quickly put him back in his cell, closing in just as Caitlin was making her entry, Iris and Felicity trailing her. Caitlin threw one glance at her still sleeping friend and close the view from him before turning to the new guest in the lab.

''You mind explaining what just happened? ''

''So? Is he….?'' Asked Cisco.

''Bad news, mate, he's not possessed.''

''What's the good news?''

''How's that a bad news?'' Confusedly asked Iris.

''I never said there was good news. The worse news is that his soul is affected as I feared. Infected.''

Team Flash started looking at each other in confusion. What the hell was that supposed to mean? It somehow sounded…bad. An infected soul? Was that even a thing? How can you even take care of an infected soul? Or even damage one in the first place, for that matter? Cisco was the first one to get a hold of himself and speak up, asking the question that was on everyone's mind:

''What are you talking about?'

''We're talking about some sort of brainwash, right?'' Tried Joe.

Constantine shrugged. ''Not really. Brainwash is pretty easy to take care of. This is way worse. The wound is so deep, it goes all the way into his soul, your friend's mind doesn't even knows he's not himself. Everything that made him who he is, his values, how he feels, who he cares about…everything has been deeply corrupted. He just does what he thinks he has to, without second guessing himself or any mental fight about if he's doing something wrong. ''

''I'm not sure I get it. He's being controlled, right?''

''Not exactly. Right now, Mr. Allen doesn't feel like he's being controlled by anything or anyone. As far as he's concerned, he's working under his own free will. He's simply convinced that the mission he's been given is the right thing to do. Nothing you can say will bring him back or get him to see reason.''

''My head hurts…'' called Cisco, rising a hand to his forehead.

''Let's just pretend I understood what you just said and the science, if we can call it that, what can we do to fix this?'' Asked Joe.

''That's the tricky part, a spell powerful enough to mark someone's soul like that is a very difficult and extremely painful one. Only a handful of people can perform it and very few specimens can stay alive through the whole thing.'' Everyone else in the room cringed at the word specimen, they were talking about human beings, about Barry in this case. ''I heard rumors about Hyde going to Europe with another victim, but I didn't expect it was a friend of Oliver. Sorry, mates.''

''What did they do to him? What can we do?'' Asked Caitlin, entering her doctor's mind.

''Hyde? Wait, is that the name of the guy who took Barry? You know who hurt my son.''

''He's not someone you want to mess with. ''

''Who is he?'' Said Wally pretty much at the same time.

''Duncan Hyde, born in 1852 in England, descending from a really old, rich and influential family who served in countless kings and queens court for hundreds of years. ''

''I think you clearly made a mistake here, he was born in 1952, right? '' Corrected Cisco, clearly putting the emphasis on the 1900. ''There's no way this guy is 164 years old.''

''I really meant 1852 and if it makes you feel any better, heard he looks good for his age. ''

''How is that even possible?'' Tried to understand Wally, scratching his head.

''It would explain the first case being in the 1920s.'' Added Iris, surprising herself at how open her mind now was to the endless possibilities this world could offer.

''It's actually pretty simple: Hyde has been in possession of the Fountain of Youth since 1924, or half of it at least.''

It might have been said in the same tone that normal people use to talk about the weather and groceries, but the contents of the sentence was far from normal, sending a wave of shock through his audience.

''The Fountain of Youth, like  _THE_  Fountain?'' Repeated Caitlin.

''Pretty sure the movies with that thing never end well…'' mumbled Cisco, only half-joking.

''So, we're facing an immortal man?''

''That explained his age.'' Said Iris, thinking out loud. ''But what is he after? What does he want with Barry?''

''You're not listening to me, are you? I'm pretty sure I said he has half of it. With the half in his possession, he can absorb people's life energy to become young again, but the effects are just temporary and there's a limit to the number of times a human body can take the changes. Absorbing a life can give a good 30, 40 years back maybe. But the second time he absorbs someone's life force, the numbers of years it takes to get back to the same physical state than before the feeding is less and less. Without the other half, he always needs to recharge himself. ''

''That explains why the time between each victim has been closer and closer, he's becoming old again faster with each…feeding.'' Understood Felicity.

''Where's that second part?'' Asked Joe.

''No one knows. It's been lost for centuries. It's probably why Hyde has been going after any experts he can find, hoping to find the location and not only save his life, but really become immortal this time. ''

''That's probably why he needed Barry; he can search a lot of places much faster than Hyde can.'' Theorized the Green Arrow.

''That.'' Agreed Caitlin. ''But also, with his regenerative powers, Hyde could probably take his energy without him dying. If I'm not mistaken. That would explain why nobody was killed during the time Barry went missing, or the first couple of months at least, if he was able to 'feed' on him multiple times.''

''Gotta give it to you, mate.'' Started Constantine to Oliver. ''You have some pretty smart friends in this town too, should've invited me sooner.'' He turned toward Caitlin to answer her directly. ''Sound pretty plausible to me from what I could get on your friend's abilities. ''

''One thing I don't get; you and the people like you have been aware about this guy for how long? Years? And you never thought about stopping all of this? Why?'' Inquired Iris, annoyed that the person who acted like he cared for people didn't lift a finger to prevent future victims.

Constantine simply shrugged once more. ''He's pretty good at hiding and he only takes a life every couple of years. Way bigger fishes to take care of first.''

''Well, he isn't anymore.'' Interrupted Cisco. ''His number of victims has been way, way up in the last couple of years.''

''It mean he's running out of time, he's probably desperate to find the other part. ''

''Where is he?'' Joe was in full detective mode right now.

''Like I said, he's been pretty good at hiding. If you want a real shot at finding him, you'll need someone who's been on the inside. ''

All together they turned toward the wall that was hiding Barry's cell. Just like they first found it at Star City and brought it back home, their only hope of getting some justice and stopping more deaths in the future was resting on Barry's shoulders, on Barry's cooperation and let's just say he wasn't in a very good mood to do so right now.

''Alright, what do we do about him?'' Said Wally, pointing the door that was hiding Barry's cell.

For the first time, John looked uncomfortable before delivering the news. ''When the victim survive the ritual and it's successful, the influence is usually until death. I'm sorry.''

''You said usually, right?'' Hopefully repeated Iris.

''I can try, but it's a long shot.''

''Just do it. '' Joe settled the matter for the rest of the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Leave a comment.


	12. The dying man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Flash give it a shot at bringing their old Barry back by letting John Constantine use his ritual on him. Joe also get the chance to talk face to face with Barry.

Hours ago, Team Arrow left along side of Constantine, requesting to Caitlin before leaving that she should make sure to keep the speedster sleeping until they came back. The doctor complied, going back down to inject Barry with the speedster sedative they created last year when Barry came back in time to ask Eobard's help. Should be enough to keep him under for a couple more hours. Pushing her fear aside, she stayed by his side, right outside the cell, the whole time.

When Oliver and Constantine made their entrance, it was with a grave expression on their faces. The simple fact that Felicity stayed behind wasn't a good sign. A simple nod toward the hallway was all the communication needed between the two teams. It was time. No words were spoken as they made their way down, everyone felt they needed to be there, they all went feeling like they were walking toward an execution. Despite Iris' hope that Barry was strong enough to overcome the influence Hyde had over him, she couldn't shake the gut feelings that something was about to go really, really wrong. As soon as the group turned the corner they saw Caitlin still waiting by the cell door, hiding her emotions behind her professional mask.

Opening the speedster's prison, Constantine silently entered it and started to draw some symbols on the ground with chalk, adding some candles all around, only breaking the silence once he was done with the preparations ''Before we get this party started, you all understand that there's a chance it's not going to work, right? Hyde's influence is strong.''

''We understand.'' Answered Joe for all of them, consulting the team with a look while John was finishing his sentence, taking the lead for the decisions concerning his foster son.

''Oh and, just to warm you all this time; it's probably not going to be very pleasant for the boy, but you need to let me finish.''

Joe's jaw clenched at the memory of earlier, but nodded anyway. If a bit of pain was needed to get Barry back, so be it. Once entering the cell, John Constantine knelt next to the unconscious boy, touching his forehead while closing his eyes.

''I command Barry Allen to awaken.''

Opening his eyes, Constantine sat on his heels, hovering his hands over the body, switching back to Latin, immediately causing a reaction in Barry's features as his face tensed once more and his fists clenched.

_''Tenebrae transierunt, libera animam hominis. Corruptio et abiit. Ego praecipio tibi!''_

Barry's breaths became shorter and faster as he suddenly hissed in pain and his back arched, only leaving his shoulders and the lower part of his legs in contact with the ground. When the hiss turned into vocal moans, it took all of Joe's self-control to not interfere this time with the ritual.

''Come on, man, you're strong.'' Whispered Cisco in the back, the sound of his voice almost completely covered by Iris' sobbing, her dad holding her tight.

The young hero's body fell back in one quick, hard, motion to the ground, clenching his teeth, shaking from head to toes. Swiftly immobilizing the hero's head by putting his own hands on both sides of it, Constantine closed his eyes once more. In an instant, both men ended up in total silence. The group behind looked at each other, unsure if they were supposed to intervene, after all the noises, the words, the groans of pain, the silence was just as unnerving, maybe even more.

John's head suddenly rose as he took one huge, deep, breath like a drowning man finally reaching the surface, just before backing up from the unconscious man, struggling to get out. Joe rushed in, taking the man by under the armpits to help him get out of the cell, not wanting to waste enough time for Barry to wake up and attack them all, closing the cell and the panel in front of it the second they were both out before talking.

''Are you ok?''

''Yeah, I think so.'' John's breath was short and fast, but he was quickly getting it under control.

In an instant, everyone closed in, surrounding both men.

''So? What happened? '' Hurriedly asked Wally, anxious to know if it worked.

Even before answering, John's head went down. ''I'm sorry, your friend's corruption is too deep, his spirit is too strong, there's nothing I can do about it. ''

''No….You have to do something. '' Whispered Iris, fighting back the tears threatening her eyes.

''There's gotta be a way, I just know there is!'' Firmly added Cisco, refusing to give up, earning a nod of approval from the rest of the group.

''I won't believe that my son's gone.'' Added Joe in the same tone.

John and Oliver shared understanding looks, having clearly already discussed the possibility of plan A not working and what would come up after. Whatever it was, it didn't look too good judging by their uncomfortable faces.

''Just tell them, John. ''

''There's a way, but you're not going to agree''

''Anything!''

''Just tell us!''

''What is it? ''

All of Team Flash was talking at the same time. What the hell were Constantine and Oliver holding back? Couldn't be worse than leaving Barry like that and in the pipeline for the rest of his life and letting Hyde run freely, murdering countless more people. Sighing in defeat, Green Arrow's friend spoke up again to his audience, already preparing himself for the outburst.

''It includes killing him.''

''What?! ''

''You're crazy!''

''You can't be serious! There's gotta be another way!''

''Well…'' Shrugged Constantine as soon as the outbursts started to fade. ''You guys can always go with torture.''

''You're crazy!'' Screamed Iris, repeating Cisco's exact words from a moment earlier before noticing that the only one in the room who hasn't flinched a muscle at the last words of the newcomer was Oliver. ''You knew about this!'' She accused him, pointing him with her fingers.

The Green Arrow kept his composure. ''Just let him explain.''

He waited for a moment to see who would object, but when nobody did, he nodded at his friend to keep on going. Constantine went right to his pocket before taking out 2 syringes, one full with a clear, almost transparent, red liquid while the other had a very opaque, white, one.

''We use this.'' He simply said, without explanation.

''What are those?'' Inquired Caitlin. Where they supposed to just inject some unknown substances right into their friend? As Barry's doctor and friend, she was fearing what the man was holding in his hands, especially after what he just said about killing Barry.

''This.'' He said, raising the red syringe up in a nonchalant way. ''This, love, is a powerful and painful poison that can kill anyone within 36 to 48 hours. Just gotta give it to your friend.''

''I won't do it!'' Stated Caitlin, rudely interrupting the mystic man who acted like he didn't hear a thing and kept on going.

''And right before the time is up, you just give him this.'' Lowering his arm holding the red liquid, he rose his second arm. ''If you give it in time, it should cure him. ''

''What's the point of all of this?'' Annoyingly asked Joe, crossing his arm, clearly not on board with the plan.

''It's pretty simple Detective, if he's weak enough, it might give me the edge I need to undo what was done to him.''

''I cannot believe you're actually considering this idea. I thought you were his friend.'' Accusingly told Joe to the archer, seeing him silent of any protest.

''Listen, detective.'' Interrupted Constantine before Oliver even had the time to speak up and defend his point. ''I wouldn't be considering it and even less suggesting it if I didn't think your son had a fighting chance. If I didn't think it could work. Mr. Allen is strong, I felt it. '' He could sense his audience's conflict and while he didn't look like much on the outside, on the inside he cared about people. In this case, he really wanted to help the young hero. Softening his tone a lot, he continued talking ''To get to his breaking point, Hyde probably had to torture him for days. Even if nobody here wants to think about it, you have to. If we want to get to the same point, we can't go easy on the boy. We need to get him to a low, vulnerable, point and this is how we do it quickly and minimize the damage. ''

''And we're supposed to just stand there and watch him suffer for 2 days while we, I don't know, watch some TV or something?'' Intervened Cisco, clearly unconvinced.

''Actually, I have a little job for you all; if you can talk to him, try to get through while the poison take effect, that would be great. Thanks. ''

''You just said that nothing we'll say is going to work.'' Protested Wally.

''Some of you are listening that's good. What's important is to confuse him, get him to see the distortion between what he's saying, thinking it's the truth at this very moment, and all of his actions in the past. If we can weaken his mind as well as his body, my chances of healing him will just be greater. ''

He wasn't expecting anyone to be happy with what was needed to be done, but he hoped the people around him would understand, like Oliver did. The pain was spreading around on the faces, there wasn't much of a choice, but it still felt like even considering poisoning the young hero was like betraying him.

''IF we do this, who's calling the shots on when it's time to stop and give him the antidote? '' Inquired Wally, gaining an incredulous look from her sister.

''You cannot seriously be considering this!''

Turning around to look for support, the young journalist saw the doubt creeping into everyone's mind. Cisco seemed completely lost in his thoughts, weighing his options while Caitlin just had a blank, shocked, expression on her face. How can someone ask of a doctor, who made an oath to do no harm, to poison someone, to poison her friend? Her dad had his back on the wall, supporting himself, hand to his head, refusing to make the impossible choice between locking Barry forever or poisoning him to death.

''Caitlin can have the final say.'' Finally said Oliver, answering Wally's question, looking at John who nodded in approval.

''What about monitoring? We should put him in the Flash suit to know how he is at all time.'' Finally spoke up Cisco between his teeth, hating the idea as much as anyone, but also seeing out they were out of options. ''Caitlin? '' He added, needing to know how she felt about it.

''I…I can't. I Can't do it.''

''As I know Barry, if he had a vote in this, he would prefer going through this than stay in that way forever. '' Replied Cisco, holding it together on the outside as hard as he could.

''I….know.'' Using her sleeve to wipe the tears building in her eyes, the doctor took a deep breath before talking with a way stronger voice, forcing her mind and body to transition into a full, emotionless, doctor mode, directing her next question to Constantine. ''What are the side effects? ''

''Not gonna lie, it's a painful one that will start by causing a high fever and a lot of muscle pain, that often turn into paralysis in his extremities and limbs. ''

''And if we don't give the antidote in time, what will happen?''

''Paralysis can affect his respiratory pathways or affect directly his heart. But I've never seen it happen before the 36th hour. ''

Caitlin absently nodded.

''We can't do this, there's gotta be another way.'' Tearfully spoke up Joe, finally finding the strength to form words.

''We have no other choice…'' Trailed Iris. ''Cisco's right, that's the road Barry would want us to go with.''

''I trust Caitlin's judgement, if she has the final call on this, I trust it will work out.'' Added Wally.

Constantine extended his arms, offering both the poison and the antidote to the doctor who hesitated, before taking both, glaring.

''If anything goes wrong, it's all on you.''

As she made her way to the cell, she made sure to keep her back turned to the rest of her friends, hoping nobody would noticed the way her hands were shaking. Do no harm, right? What would her dad think of her if he was still around, on her way to intentionally poison her best friend?

She didn't even realized that someone else opened the cell door for her as she was advancing, feeling the syringe burning her palm and her conscience. What was she doing? Was she doing the right thing? How was she supposed to know? Finally making the last steps to get next to her still unconscious friend, she softly, tearfully, talked to him.

''Please, forgive me Barry.''

Silent tears cascaded her cheeks as she finally injected the content of the syringe into Barry's system. The longest and hardest 36 hours of their life was just starting.

 

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Soon after Constantine left with Oliver, giving Team Flash the alone time they needed, promising to be a call away for anything. Once the speedster was back with his speedster suit on, mask off, everyone ended up back in the cortex, closely watching the monitors to follow his vitals and the cell feed, waiting for Barry to finally join them again. How were them even going to break the news of what they just did? The young man already hated them enough without adding that.

''Let me talk to him, when he wakes up.'' Said Joe to the team, needing to be by Barry's side.

Nobody was exactly lining up to go down there again after what they just did, they sure weren't going to protest letting Joe go first. Even if…alright, not if, but when, when Barry was going to get better and back at his old self, how would any of them ever forgive themselves for that they did? What was Barry going to think? Knowing the young hero, chances are he would probably get over it in the circumstances, but it didn't help any of his friend and family's conscience.

''He probably won't wake up for another hour, you guys should take some rest, it's getting late.'' Said Caitlin.

''You're the one who should probably rest, it's going to be a very long 36 hours.'' Gently answered Cisco, knowing he was right. They were getting pretty late in the evening, hard to imagine one week ago they were just enjoying the fact that Barry was finally found and back in Central City, that one week ago they all thought the worst was over…

Caitlin reluctantly agreed, leaving to go get some hours of sleep downstairs, after making sure the boy's vitals were still mostly normal for now, the poison didn't have the time to start his damages yet. It was barely an hour later than Barry started to give his first signs of waking up, shifting on the ground. Iris tried to offer a comforting smile to her dad before he left the room, heading to the pipeline.

Being a detective and interrogating suspects for so long, Joe learned a long time ago how to control his emotions, but as much as he was trying to trick his mind into thinking it was just another routine questioning, it wasn't that easy.

When Barry's figure appeared right in front of him, it relieved him to see Barry looked ok, so far, as he was stretching his limbs on the ground, sitting up, before easily moving back on his feet. The detective had no idea how he would be able to stand and do nothing once Barry's pain will really kick it.

''I'm still here? Look like everything you tried failed, just as I predicted. Thanks for the nap, anyway. '' The speedster coldly said. ''What do you want, old man? Pretty sure I already stated I never cared about you.''

Even if Joe knew it wasn't really Barry talking, hearing the boy's voice say this statement was piercing like a knife to the detective's heart, but he somehow found the strength to keep his neutral face.

''I don't care what you'll say, you're not feeling like yourself Barry, I know you, I raised you.''

Barry snorted as an answer. ''Really? Guess you're not as smart as I thought you were. Well, not that I ever really thought you were. ''

Joe snorted back, camouflaging his pain behind an emotionless wall. He knew he had a job to do, had to bring up memories up, but he just couldn't do it without breaking up.

''Really? Insults? That's all you have to say now?''

As an answer, Barry closed on the glass, his palms pressing against his cell's door, as his cold eyes pierce right into Joe's eyes.

''Come on, its got to make you angry to know you're such a pathetic detective, the one who didn't know he had the son, the one who couldn't see me for who I really was, the criminal playing him right before his eyes.''

For one second there, Joe almost believed the lies he was hearing, doubt was crawling his way in his mind. What if Constantine was wrong? What if Barry was telling the truth for the first time in his life?

In an instant, he turned on his heels and left in a hurry, without saying any more word or even closing the panel to hide the cell, he just couldn't take it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Leave a comment, always deeply appreciated 
> 
> And FYI, the ending broke my little heart when I wrote it. I love the Joe-Barry relationship in the show so much, it was really, really hard to write these words :( I'm not THAT heartless


	13. The first one I'll kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The poison starts to affect Barry and his team stays by his side

''Dad, you ok?'' Iris instantly asked her dad after he reappeared upstairs so fast and headed to the nearest chair. He slumped down into it and rested his face in his hands, looking like he was on the verge of breaking down.

''I can't do it…I can't…it's too hard.'' He sobbed. ''I'm sorry, I can't right now.''

As her father had done so many times for her before, she gently surrounded him with her arms, hugging him warmly.

''It's ok, Joe.'' Reassured Caitlin. ''We understand.''

''Let me go down there.'' Declared Iris with determination, straightening up.

''You don't have to if you don't feel like it.'' Said Caitlin.

''I need to.'' Iris firmly answered back..

For so long she's been the girl who needed protection from everyone around, who needed her dad to protect her emotionally and needed Barry to protect her from all the dangers Central City had to offer. But today was different, today it was her turn to stand her ground and take care of both of them.

Without adding any more words, the journalist walked straight down to the pipeline, turning the corner to end up face to face with the speedster staring at her. It took all of her will to keep a face normal and push aside all the emotions fighting inside as the eyes that were staring at her didn't even look human, so cold and yet so empty at the same time. It was the calculated look of a wounded, caged, animal.

 _'It's not really Barry, it's not really Barry'_  Her mind kept on repeating in her head, keeping her grounded and strong.

Barry smirked when Iris approached, confident he could break her like he just did to her father.

''I knew you would come next, daddy's little princess. Did I hurt daddy dearest's feelings?'' As he was speaking, his smirk widened into a large smile.

 _'Be strong, girl. Everyone is counting on you, especially Barry.'_  She told herself before speaking up, her voice sounding as strong and confident as she could.

''I don't care what you say, your mind games won't work on me.''

''Just because daddy says you're clever doesn't make you true.''

It was hard to believe that there was any spell in the entire world that could turn such a kind and gentle soul to someone so hateful, so wicked, just so...spiteful. Doubt was creeping into her mind that if the spell was so powerful, maybe there wasn't much hope to bring the real Barry back. Pushing the doubt back, she grabbed a hold on herself.

''I have one question for you...'' She started, only to get abruptly interrupted.

''Oh, just one? Why I played all of you? Because it's fun, you were all so miserable, I couldn't resist.''

 _'Oh Barry, I hope you'll be able to forgive yourself for everything you're saying._ ' Iris thought sadly, knowing how hard the hero was on himself, even for things that weren't even his fault. Undoubtedly, once Barry was back to normal, picking up the pieces was going to be tough.

''I wanna know why.'' She continued, ignoring his answer. ''Why, last year, did you work so hard to find a way back to Earth 2 even after all the breaches were close? You could've sat on your ass and let Zoom destroy Earth 2 and kill as many people as he wanted until his imminent death. Why bother going back?''

Anyone could've easily missed the small reaction to her interrogation, but Iris didn't missed it, she knew the fallen hero too well, she saw him tensed slightly. He definitely wasn't expecting that kind of question.

''What do you care?'' He rudely answered back, on the defensive.

''I don't know, just curious I guess.'' Iris played dumb. ''Just answer the question.''

''Why wouldn't I go after Zoom? He was a threat to my power.'' His answer was quick, and the hesitation was short enough to be missed by most people, except Iris, who probably knew him more than she knew herself.

''No, he wasn't. He was back on his world and there was no way for him to come back.''

''I estimated there was a risk he would come back.''

Iris resisted the urge of smiling, there was no doubt to her that Barry wasn't buying his own lies, that he was saying anything he could think of to get out of this debate by all means, she's seen it more than once.

''He was dying when you made the decision to go back on Earth 2 and we had no idea at that time that he could already travel between worlds. The only logical reason to go after him first was that waiting meant more people getting killed. ''

Iris saw her adoptive brother's jaw tighten. Iris: 1, Barry: 0.

''I don't expect someone like you to understand.'' He finally said. ''You should check the temperature, it's getting hot in here.'' He added.

A shiver passed in the young woman's spine, for a second there she totally forgot about the poison.

''You're probably imagining it like the rest of your arguments.'' She threw at him before deciding the conversation was over, closing the panel to hide the cell. It was hard, but she scored the first point, she was able to show him the distortion between his words and his actions.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

The team decided to give the fallen hero some time alone to get a chance to think about the chat he had with Iris. In the meantime, it also gave them a chance to really think about the next conversation they wanted to have. During that time, they kept on monitoring their friend's vitals as his temperature started to rise by a degree, then another one, entering the low fever zone after a little while. The speedster stopped walking none-stop in his cell and was now sitting in it, back against the wall, pressing his head with his hand, frowning.

''We need to tell him what we did. He'll notice it pretty soon anyway.'' Proposed Joe, guilt rising at the same speed than his son's discomfort.

''He's not gonna be pretty happy, and he already wants to kill us.'' Reminded Cisco to the group.

''Dad's right, Barry will find out by himself soon or later. '' Said Wally.

Of course the youngest West was right, but the truth is that Barry would probably be equally mad from learning it from the team or finding out by himself.

''Fine, I'll tell him. '' Conceded Cisco. ''I guess it's my turn to get in there.'' He added, spiritless.

Nobody protested about letting him have the next chat, the engineer already having a plan of attack, wanting to finish the conversation he started earlier. As soon as the panel opened and the cell appeared, Barry rose his now usual hateful look before slowly rising on his feet, his cheek beginning to blush from the fever.

''Thought I was clear I didn't want to see any of you around and yet you keep coming to bother me.''

''When I came to see you earlier, you told me the only reason you saved me from Eobard, when you send him back to his timeline, was because you needed me. Why would you need me?''

Barry scoffed before simply answering, looking convinced of what he was about to say. ''What is it with you people and all these pathetic questions today? I knew your powers would come in handy against Zoom.''

''There's only one problem with that; all of this happened before we knew about my ability to open breaches. You even saved me from the killer bees before we even knew I was affected by the explosion. ''

Barry tensed for a second, realizing the mistake, before hiding it behind a cruel smile. ''It doesn't matter, only with the techs you're building, powers or no powers, you've always been a good asset to use. Too bad you're not gonna be of any help anymore, I might actually feel bad when I'll kill you.''

It was the engineer's turn to tense up, his friend sounded so sure of himself, did he already have a plan on how to get out of there and live up to his words? Or was it just more mind games?

''Oh don't worry, I'll try to do it quick.''

Surprisingly, this somehow didn't seem like the right moment to deliver the news about poisoning him unless he wanted to have a slow and painful death at the hands of the speedster. Pondering his options, Cisco didn't hear new people arriving; Caitlin was back from her short nap and was closely followed by Joe.

''I'll give it to you, you might be a coward, but I didn't think you would be back before the end of the day.'' Told Barry, addressing the detective who just entered the room.

''Iris told me what you were about to do.'' Whispered Caitlin to her engineer friend, gently putting her hand on his back. ''You shouldn't do this alone. ''

Turning back to their friend, they witnessed him use his forearm to wipe the sweat running on his forehead despite the well-tempered room temperature, closely followed by a barely perceptible shiver down his shoulders. Infected wound or not, he still had Barry's mind, his intelligence, his deductive skills. That was without mentioning it wasn't that hard for any adult to sense when something wasn't right with your own body.

''What's happening to me?'' His glance moved from one person to another in the room as he was trying to figure out if any of them actually believed him or they thought he was faking it. Gaining no reaction, his feverish mind was still clear enough to catch up with the situation. His glance turned to glare, accusingly shouting the next sentence.

''You did this to me, didn't you.'' It might have been structured like a question, but it wasn't. The cat was out of the bag.

''Barry, we had to do it.'' Carefully started Caitlin, weighting her words.

''What did you do? What did you gave me?''

''You're gonna be f…'' Tried Joe, only to be brutally interrupted in a tone that wasn't leaving much interpretation.

''Last chance" What. Did. You. Do?'' Deeply pronounced Barry, emphasizing each and every one of his word, each one dripping with venom, violently hitting the glass once he finished his sentence.

''We gave you a…small…poison to help you fight your condition.'' Finally, vaguely, answered Cisco. It wasn't exactly a lie, well, maybe just a bit. The important part was that at the end of the day, or at least tomorrow, it will help bring him back.

Everyone in the room expected the strongest reaction yet, expected the speedster's anger to explode in a vain effort to break free by force. However, this was as far as possible from what really happened. There was shock, real one this time, even disbelief in the young man's features. In an instant, the whole reaction was gone, disappearing too fast for anyone watching the live feed to notice anything, but each and every one of the Team Flash members in the room got a glimpse of it and it definitely was by all mean a shock for them. It was the first real reaction they've gotten from the speedster since he came back. If any proof was needed that Barry was still in there somewhere, there it was; the sensation of getting poisoned by the people he trusted the most was strong enough to send a disturbance wave all the way down to his soul.

''Leave me alone.'' He finally said bitterly, coldly; storming up to the other side of his cell, letting his body slide on the wall until he was sitting on the ground.

''You gave us no choice, son.'' Gently tried Joe, his father's heart squeezing in his chest. He could've sworn he really saw Barry again for a fraction of a second. ''I'm not leaving you.'' He approached the door, refusing to leave Barry alone even if he didn't know what to say.

''He's still in there, we'll get him back.'' Hopefully whispered Cisco, getting a nod approval before leaving the room and head upstairs with Caitlin.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

During the following hours, they took turns watching over Barry, talking to him even if their prisoner wasn't feeling too chatty right now. They talked about everything and nothing, about all of the good he's done over the last two years since becoming the Flash, reminding him of all the people he risked his life to rescue and all the times he had gotten injured fighting instead of fleeing, even if he had the chance to. Not a single moment during the whole night passed without someone being by the hero's side while the people who weren't on watch duty took the time for naps considering how long the next day was going to be.

''Cisco, you should do like Iris and Joe and go sleep a little, it's been a little over 14 hours now, we still have at least another full day to go.'' Told Caitlin as the morning sun was still rising outside.

There was no denying how tired Cisco was feeling,

''You're probably right.'' He answered back, looking one last time at the live feed from the cell; Barry had been sitting in the back of it for the past hour, knees against his chest.

His fever kept on rising during the night, before stabilizing around 103 F (39 C), leaving him sweating and shivering.

''You'll call me if there's any changes?''

Just as he was getting up and his doctor friend was about to answer, a cry for help in the comms caused both to them to sharply turn and look at the screen. Suddenly, Barry grabbed his chest right where his heart was, struggling to stretch his legs and get up, failing miserably and ending back on the ground.

''Help him! '' Screamed Wally. His yells were partially covered by the suit's alarm as his heart pace grew faster and faster.

''What's happening?!'' Panicked Cisco, frantically looking at both the vitals and the cell video.

''Constantine said it never happened before the 36th hour!'' Stated Caitlin in horror, not ready for an emergency right now and especially not ready to lose her friend, witnessing with horror his heartbeat flat lining.

Grabbing her medical bag and tablet, she started sprinting as fast as possible toward the pipeline, getting there with the engineer in an instant, Wally frantically moving out of the way. As Cisco rushed to the control panel to approach the cell and get ready to open it, Caitlin put her attention back to her tablet, reading of the boy's vitals.

''It shouldn't be...'' Something was off with the reading, his heart stopped beating, but when she took a good look to the rest of the readings, it wasn't adding up at all with a cardiac arrest. In an instant, her own heart stopped.

''Oh my...CISCO DON'T OPEN THE CELL!'' She screamed as loud and as fast as she could, finally getting it.

Too late, the engineer had already opened the door of the cell and was well on his way to enter it, ready to charge on the lying, unmoving speedster, every event of the last days forgotten except for his death friend lying there. Well, death. In the doctor's mind, everything, including time, stopped. She could see in slow motion the head of the laying speedster move up, the eyes opening and looking right at her, right at her soul. Barry's cruel, sadistic smile sent a rush in her, a rush of feelings she couldn't even describe. The fear, the distress, the cold.

_'You'll be the first I kill the second I'm out...then, you're next.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that an evil enough cliff for you? :D


	14. Run for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Barry is free, he's hellbent on taking his revenge and killing everyone who locked him up and tried to hurt him, starting with Caitlin

There was one and only one thought in Caitlin's mind that kept on repeating itself; she was going to die, no doubt about it. It was the last thought she had before a rush of wind and lighting invaded the room as the speedster grabbed her and took her away. Jumping on his feet when Barry rushed out of the room, Cisco instantly realized what had happened and couldn't stop the scream from leaving his lips.

''CAITLIN! NO!''

Blood rushed to his brain, already picturing the thousands of things Barry already had the time to do to their friend and could still do. Adrenaline flowed to his muscles, giving him the energy to dash to the cortex, desperate to find them while dreading what he might find, not even realizing Wally was closely trailing him. As soon as he entered the cortex, his eyes widened at the sight of Barry tightly holding Caitlin against the left wall with his right arm, pressing his hand against her throat as the girl was desperately trying to get away, vainly struggling as hard as she could while her feet weren't even touching the ground. The doctor's hands were weakly grabbing the speedsters's arm and her feet were kicking the air, unable to even touch her target.

''Ba'…pleas…'' She said weakly using the miniscule amount of air getting in and out of her lungs.

''Barry! Let her go!'' Screamed Cisco, pleaded.

A cruel smile appeared on the boy's lips as his head slowly turned in his direction.

''Good, I was scared you would miss the show. Do you vote for asphyxiation or something a bit more…fun?''

As he was finishing his sentence, he rose his left arm, his hand vibrating. The joy radiating in the speedsters' features for what he was about to do was sickening, the intensity of it only competing with the inhumanity and the emptiness in his eyes. The hate, the malice, the coldness, the heartlessness and even the savagery in the person who used to be a hero seemed to be terms too good to describe what was consuming him right now. That was the end of it, Caitlin just knew it, she felt it as the blood-thirstiness emanating from Barry froze her heart. If he wasn't going to end her with his vibrating hand soon, her heart would stop on its own from her own overwhelming fear. How was it even possible to be this ruthless? Wounded soul or not. Tremors of excitation were appearing under the speedster's skin as he was getting ready to end her life. It was probably a useless and stupid thought considering she was about to die in a couple of seconds, but the only thought repeating itself right now in her head was that never, ever again, would she be able to look in Barry's eyes without feeling the cold hand of the Reaper in her chest. Not that it would really matter anymore.

''BARR! STOP! PLEASE!''

Turning around at the sound of Joe's voice who entered the cortex running with both of his children shadowing him, Cisco actually only noticed now that Wally didn't followed him all the way from the pipeline to the cortex. Neither father nor daughter had any shoes on their feet, barefeet on the cold floor, hairs all messed up, clearly awoken in panic from their nap by Wally. The youngest West was staying behind his dad, subconsciously searching protection while his older sister was by her father's side, hand going to her mouth in shock.

Instead of complying, the speedster wicked smile widened. ''Oh, this is going to be good.''

It was with shaking fingers that Joe went for his gun, holding it as tightly as he could to stabilize it and not let the weapon fall to the floor, despite his mind screaming against harming his son. What the hell was he supposed to do? He knew he could never hurt his son, but how was he ever going to live with himself if he was to let Caitlin die? Tears were threatening to obscure his vision as they were rising in his eyes, his heart's pace quickening immediately and abruptly.

''Please, son, let her go.'' He pleaded, fighting the tears in his voice.

The only answer he got was Barry turning his back on all of them again, pressing a bit harder on his victim's throat.

''Barry, don't do it! You want to leave? You're free, we won't go after you! Please!'' Desperately begged Cisco, frantic to find a solution. Nobody in the room wanted the young man to go freely and hurt even more people, but as long as he was out there, there was a chance to find him and make things right. There would be no making anything right if they were to let the fallen hero commit the irreparable.

Instantly, Barry relieved some pressure around the doctor's neck, turning his head around to look at Cisco with neutrality in his features, prompting to engineer to instinctively reach out his arm, like he did last spring when he was trying to get his friend out of the Speed Force.

''Come over here. We'll help you.''

All it took was a second, a fraction of one, for the expression to turn back to cruelty. Lighting sparkled around the man's body before he suddenly took action, swiftly moving forward and then backward, back to where he started, leaving in his a trail a nauseating cracking sound and a cry of anguish. Before the whole team had time to turn and examine the source of the scream, Barry had already been back to his initial position.

''Cisco!'' Worriedly screamed Iris as she witnessed Cisco dropped on his knees, pressing his right arm against his chest, breathing in agony. It was unmistakably broken, the opposite hand holding the right elbow was the only thing keeping the whole arm from hanging uselessly by his side.

''Nobody move!'' Ordered Barry when he saw Iris makes a step toward the engineer's direction, efficiently freezing everyone in their tracks.

Joe tightened his grip on his weapon, aiming for his son, blinking rapidly against the rising tears. No, he couldn't do it, there just was no way he was going to shoot Barry. What kind of father would harm their own son? Just the thought of it was making him nauseous, disgusted with himself for even daring to think about that possibility.

''Please, don't make me hurt you. Don't force me to do it. '' He half-sobbed, half-commanded it.

Barry chuckled, clearly not buying the threat. ''Even if I kill her and I kill the rest of them, and I will, you're never going to be able to pull the trigger and you'll give me the antidote. We both know it''

Every single muscle of the detective was shaking badly, what was he supposed to do? While he was deeply thinking about it, every second used to think was one less second they had to save their friend as the fallen hero pressed harder against her throat, cutting all the air, sending Caitlin choking, vainly fighting and kicking, her struggle growing weaker by the second. The pleasure he took in his actions was irradiating, grinning from ear to ear, his second hand raising again, shaking with the overwhelming joy of being free and able to carry out his vengeance, unsure if he was going to strangle her all the way or crush her heart instead.

''Please son, I'm begging you.'' Joe tried again, uselessly.

There was no use, Barry was deaf to all of his pleading. If the detective didn't wanted Caitlin's death on his conscious, he needed to act and he needed to act now. The blood pumping in his ears made him unable to hear anything that was happening all around, even forgetting about Cisco's wound, needing to be 100% focus. He couldn't miss this shot, Barry had the ability to kill his foster dad before Joe could even blink. Aiming for the arms or legs could save the lives of everyone involved, but not without a higher chance of missing or Barry dodging. But, on the other side, aiming the chest meant a shoot to kill.

Witnessing Iris frowned while looking down at the speeder's legs, Joe directed his attention toward them and he noticed it too; they were definitely shaking, and it wasn't out of joy, the poison was starting to affect his muscles...but he wasn't going to collapse soon enough to save Caitlin's life.

 _'Please Barry, forgive me.'_  He tearfully thought before lowering his weapon and pressing the trigger, unconsciously closing his eyes the second he let the bullet go.

Barry definitely heard the detonation and turned his head around, but when he tried moving, his shaking legs betrayed him, standing still for the fraction of a second it took for the bullet to hit his target, behind his left tibia. Screaming in pain and anger, he let go of his victim who fell on the ground, gasping for air, fighting to stay conscious. Electricity sparkled in the Flash's eyes, full of animosity, he wasn't done fighting. Joe knew what he needed to do; he needed to do something, anything, except stand there, but that was the only thing he could do at that moment, frozen in shock. The realization of what he'd just done hit him like a runaway train and if it wasn't enough, terror was spreading inside him at the sight of his foster son shaking with hate, ready to kill him on the spot.

At the exact moment the detective was sure he was about to die too, a shock wave passed in front of him and charged right through Barry, hitting him at full power and sending him crashing into the wall. Seizing the opportunity, no question asked, Joe rushed into action while Barry was still recovering from the initial shock. The young man was struggling to get on all four, slowly putting his palms on the ground to push himself up, grinding his teeth together. Swinging his weapon as hard as he could, Joe connected the gun handle to his foster son's head.

''I'm sorry Barr.'' He whispered as the hero's body abruptly collapsed on the ground. ''Wally! Go grab a towel and press it against Barry's wound.'' He screamed to his son before swiftly going at Caitlin's side, who ended losing her fight for consciousness and was now completely inert next to the wall, turning her on her back. The sense of emergency kicked in his detective's instincts, pushing aside for a second all the guilt that would no doubt come crashing down in a moment.

The thump as Barry hit the ground and Joe calling for his son awoke Iris from her torpor, glancing around her, her brain slowly catching up on what just happened. Everything happened way too fast; she didn't even see Cisco struggling to get up despite the pain and go get on the desk his glasses he's been playing with earlier, trying to localize Hyde. No doubt that the shock wave came from Cisco and his powers. Coming back to the present, the first thing that came into Iris' view was Cisco's still form on the ground, or more like mostly still as he was whimpering in agony, moving his head from side to the other, eyes closed tightly, holding his broken arm against his chest while his breath was now short and quick.

''Cisco!'' She screamed for the second time, kneeling next to him, stabilizing her friend by holding his shoulders in place. ''Can you hear me?'' She couldn't imagine the suffering he must be feeling right now, after using his shock wage powers with a broken arm.

His good arm started waving around to try and get the journalist off him.

''Catl…'' He whispered to Iris. ''Go.''

It was with a knot in her stomach that she turned her attention toward the doctor and her father.

''She's out, but she's still breathing. She's alive. '' Joe announced, hearing a collective sigh of relief.

Part of the detective was unwilling to leave Caitlin all alone in her condition, but at this moment, Barry was the priority, from both a security and medical point of view. Seeing Iris was getting back on her feet and striding in his direction, whispering a ''Stay still.'' to Cisco, it eased his mind enough to get up and help his son instead.

Wally was already back, pressing a towel on the bullet's entry wound that was now gushing blood.

''Shouldn't we be putting him back in his cell?'' Nervously asked Wally, still pressing hard.

''We need to stop the bleeding first, keep pressure.'' Answered back Joe, getting up and back in the medical bay, searching for something to bandage the wound, fighting to keep his body from shaking at the sight of Barry's blood. So much blood, all because of what he did.

_'Oh god, what have I done?'_

''Is the bullet still in there?'' Asked Iris, surprised to see her dad already searching and collecting bandages without taking time to carefully examine and diagnose the wound. As she was talking, she was listening to Caitlin's rasp breathing, it was slowing down and getting more and more regular which was definitely a good sign, but they'll still need to get her in bed till she wakes up.

''With Caitlin out, we can't do much right now, we need to get him stabilized and back downstairs.'' The detective joined his son again, kneeling next to Barry and making sure he was really out before going back to take care of the wound, forcing his mind to concentrate on the task and push aside the nausea.

Not liking the prospect, but understanding the situation, Iris nodded, looking around, thinking about what she could do to help.

''There's no exit wound.'' Informed Joe to the rest, as he inspected the damage. ''But I think the bleeding is slowing down, we'll need to get him down soon. I'll need your help, Wally.''

Getting up once more, the detective decided to take a moment to help his daughter by gathering Caitlin's unconscious form in his arm, lifting her from the cold ground and gently laying her down on a bed in the medical bay. It gave Iris the chance to go back to the wounded engineer just as Cisco was slowly getting a grip on himself, sitting on the ground and struggling to get back on his feet without using his broken arm. Iris gently but firmly helped him get back up, trying to shut her ears to the grunts of pain.

''You ok?'' She said once he was stable enough on his feet for her to let go.

''Need...check on them.'' He answered back between his teeth.

Every single member of Team Flash was without a doubt deeply stubborn, especially when it was about protecting each other. Sighing, Iris walked behind Cisco as he went to the medical bay, only stopping to make sure her dad had finished the tight bandage on Barry's leg. Once the wound was stable enough for now, Joe put one of his son's arm around his shoulders with Wally doing the same on the other side, getting ready to get Barry back from where he just escaped.

It was just as they left the room that Joe's daughter felt spasms in her muscles, as her body was trying to deal with the overdose of adrenaline that overflowed her body moments ago. Talk about stressful moments, it could've gone from bad to worse in a fraction of a second, almost did. There's no doubt that the speedster had more than enough time to kill his friend, all of his friends for that matter, why did he hesitated? Her mind wanted to believe it was because part of the real Barry was fighting back, but it was probably simply because he needed a show. Her heart wasn't going to be able to take another dose of high stress like the one they just got; hopefully the rest of the day will go smoothly...well, for the rest of them since things were about to go from bad to worse for Barry.

She got taken out of her thoughts by Cisco's groans of pain. Oh right, she probably should do something about that too. Jumping back up and off the chair she just sat on, she went to the medical supply, searching for a splint to immobilize the broken limb.

''You should go to the hospital to get that checked out.''

''I can't, not while they're both hurt, they need me.''

''I'm serious, you should get that checked, Caitlin's isn't going to help you right now.'' She told him, coming back with what she was searching for.

The young engineer didn't answer, staring at his unconscious friend, his mind undoubtedly going over the event that just happened, determined to keep his vigil post, working on pushing back the pain as Iris started her work to immobilize his broken limb.

''Cisco, they're not going to wake up soon, there's nothing you can do for them right now.'' As she was talking, she delicately put the splint in place. ''You won't be able to do anything when they  _will_  need help tomorrow in that state, not to mention we both know you won't be able to get any rest if you're in too much pain.''

The engineer sighed, she was right but…

''I just had my nap, don't worry, I will stay with Caitlin till she wakes up again.''

Iris paused for a moment, carefully studying Cisco's features as he was thinking about it, before adding: "Cisco, they'll be fine. My dad and Wally will look after them and Caitlin will be fine. If she was awake I'm sure she'd be telling you to get this checked immediately."

Finally admitting defeat, Cisco nodded weakly, his jaw tensing up in discomfort as moving his head somehow managed to disturb his arm that felt like it was on fire at that moment. Victorious, Iris smiled.

''Join me in the garage, I'll go get my stuff and I'll take you to the ER.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn't kill anyone with the suspense ;) Let me know your thoughts on that chapter


	15. Getting worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry keeps on getting worse and worse and Wally go have a talk with him, keeping him company. Caitlin also wakes up

By the time Iris came back from dropping Cisco at the E.R. entrance, she went straight to the cortex to check on Caitlin, surprise to find the young woman soundly sleeping all on her own, nobody checking on her. Where were his dad and brother? Making sure Caitlin wasn't about to wake up in the next minute or so, Iris walked to the nearest computer having a live feed of the pipeline, witnessing her brother standing still in front of the cell, keeping a close eye on Barry while Joe was nowhere to be found. Wally would probably know where was the detective.

''I'll be back.'' The reporter told the unconscious doctor, not caring that Caitlin couldn't hear her right now, before heading downstairs toward her younger brother.

''Everything ok down here?'' Inquired the young woman as she entered the pipeline, her brother turning around at the sound of her voice.

Wally exhaled deeply, if things were indeed better than they were moments ago when everyone in the lab feared they were all going to lose their life and Barry forever, things were as far as possible from being 'ok'.

''It will have to do for now, Barry lost a lot of blood, the bullet is still lodge in his leg and he'll only keep on getting weaker with the poison…but he's stable for now.''

Biting her lips and closing her eyes for a moment, Iris fought to keep the emotions at bay, unsure if she could keep on doing it if she started speaking, so she simply nodded instead, leaving the door open for Wally to ask the next question.

''Cisco? Caitlin?''

''Caitlin's breathing is back to normal, she's still sleeping but she'll be fine and I took Cisco to the E.R. I'm waiting for a call to pick him up. ''

''That's good.'' Wally answered truthfully, relieved his new friends would be fine.

''Where's dad?'' Finally asked the young woman, a question to which her brother first answered by shaking his head before speaking up.

''I'm…not sure. He left as soon as Barry was secured and stable, thought he was going to keep an eye on Caitlin until you got back. Did you check the cortex?''

 _'Oh dad…'_  Guilt formed a knot in her stomach, she shouldn't have left so quickly without checking on her dad first, no doubt his feelings over what he did must be eating him alive.

Her silence spoke for itself about the absence of the detective at the doctor's bedside.

''Need my help searching for him?'' Worriedly inquired Wally.

''No, I need you to stay here and keep an eye on Barry.'' She answered immediately, hating how at this very moment it was just her and her brother who were the last ones standing to look after the rest of them. Maybe they should call Oliver and Constantine back already. Right now, the reporter was missing Harry and Jesse's presence in the lab, they always knew what to do.

Taking a moment to approach the cell's glass, Joe's daughter put her hands on it, wishing she could give some comfort to the hero before leaving, as he was really starting to look bad, laying on his side, features tensed in pain, dried blood on the ground, around his bandaged leg. His increase shaking indicated that his temperature and fever probably rose in the last half hour, the new wound probably helping the poison to act faster. Unless there was an infection growing. Just what they needed at the moment…

''Hang in there just a little longer, Barry.'' She whispered, forcing herself to break contact with the glass and swiftly turned around, needing to be focused.

Leaving the room without adding any more words, she started looking around for her dad. Logic dictated that he was still in the lab; he wouldn't leave Barry in this state, especially with both Cisco and Caitlin out for the count. Something was telling her that Joe probably wasn't too far from the cortex, he wouldn't leave Caitlin completely alone neither when Iris was on her way to the E.R.

_'Got you.'_

The second she entered the cortex and started to really and carefully look around, she caught sight of the half-opened door of the treadmill room, ''Dad?'' She tried, peeking inside.

There he was, sitting on the treadmill, Detective Joe West staring at his shaking hands, showing no reaction to the voice of his daughter as she approached with worry showing clearly on her features, placing her hand on his shoulder and leaning to get her face closer to his. ''Dad? Are you ok?''

''I…hurt him….I shot Barry.'' His shaking voice answered as his eyes stayed fixed on his hands, trying to deal with what he did, dry tear marks covering his cheeks.

Placing herself in front of the detective, Iris knelt down so she could be on the same level as her father, taking his hands into hers to minimize the shaking.

''You had no choice. You saved Caitlin's life, it was the only way. You know it. I know. We all do. '' She tried, sounding as gentle as she could, unsure it was working as Joe had yet to make eye contact. ''If our Barry had any say in this, we both know that's what he would've wanted.''

For a moment, it seemed like Joe was starting to listen to reason, his head slightly raising up, before going down again, vigorously shaking it.

''What if….he moved? Fell off? Could've killed Barry, could've killed my son. I…I can't.'' Fresh, silent, tears started cascading on his face again.

''But you didn't.'' Reassured Iris. ''At the end of the day, you saved Caitlin, you saved us all and tomorrow, we'll give the antidote to Barry and he'll be ok. ''

When Joe spoke up again, his voice was barely above a whisper. '' If I had been faster that day, catch up with the van, nothing would've happen…''

''Do you mean when…'' It took a moment for Iris to understand what he meant, remembering the moment Hyde took Barry from that fire, over 4 months ago.

''You can't blame yourself for that, it was all Hyde's fault, he's the one who did all of this. Once Barry is back to normal, we'll take Hyde down, together. ''

''How is Barry ever going to forgive me?'' Tearfully answered her dad.

''He will, there's no doubt in my mind. You made a hard choice, but it needed to be done.'' Iris said firmly.  _'However, forgiving himself is going to be a whole other story.'_  She added to herself.

Just as her father was about to reply something, a sudden and loud metallic sound coming from the medical bay interrupted their chat, causing both father and daughter to instinctively jump on their feet and rush in the direction of the noise.

''Caitlin! '' Iris cried out in surprise and joy to see the young doctor already awake, eyes opened, struggling to get up, inadvertently knocking medical supplies off the table and on to the ground in the process.

''I…r…'' She tried to speak, hoarsely.

''Shhh…don't try to speak.'' Quickly added the young woman gently pushing Caitlin back into a laying position. ''Barry almost strangled you, you shouldn't use your voice for a while.''

Barry? The name of the fallen hero had an immediate reaction as the doctor frantically looked around, from left to right and right to left.

''It's ok, Caitlin, he's not here.''

 _'Where?'_  she mouthed, nervously scanning the room.

''He's back in the pipeline.'' Instantly answered Joe, maybe just a bit too quickly if he didn't want to raise suspicions.

Too late, Caitlin caught it, she knew they were hiding something.

''N….o.'' She whispered, slightly shaking her head and pointing at Joe's gun at the same time.

The gun shot was probably the last thing she heard, or at least remembered, before passing out, instantly sending a rush of guilt in the detective standing next to her. Even half-awake for a moment, the doctor could tell something wasn't right. Glancing at Joe's face for a moment, she feared the worst the moment she took in his shaken look and the tears on his face.

''He's…hurt. '' Finally truthfully answered Iris. ''We had to shoot him in the leg to stop him. He's weak, but he's alive and stable for now, in the pipeline.''

Caitlin weakly nodded, shiver passing through her body at the memory of what happened.

''Rest. We have the situation under control for now. ''

Everything was spinning out of control, but right now, at that very moment, there was nothing more they could do except return to Constantine's plan; wait and cross their fingers that in more or less 24 hours, Barry would be back with them.

The Wests stayed at Caitlin's side until their friend finally fell asleep again, probably without even realizing it. The nap she had yesterday was a distant memory and had been pretty short, it wasn't a surprise that she was so exhausted. Barry's attack had been pretty terrifying and a really close call, but on the bright side, it gave the doctor the reason she needed to rest before the worst part that was awaiting them tomorrow came to fruition.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It took a couple more hours for Barry to finally open his eyes, coming back to the world of the living. It was the understatement of the century to say he wasn't a happy camper, glaring intensely at Wally, who was still standing in front of his cell, once he was able to make sense of what happened and his surroundings. What was the point of threatening everyone again? The chances of him being able to pull the same trick were pretty close to none, the team wouldn't fall another time for him accelerating his heart pace too fast even for the suit's sensors to register it, not to mention he wasn't feeling too great right now.

The suit sensors registered a 105°F (40.6°C) fever and the muscle tremors, even when he was unconscious, had gotten worse in the last hours. This time, he didn't even try to get up, sitting still in the corner of his cell. In fact, the simple fact of sitting up and dragging his painful body to his new position against the wall ended up being an agonizing slow and arduous struggle. Once he was finally sitting as comfortably as possible, he made eye contact with Joe's son.

''Hope you're enjoying the view.'' The speedster tried to smirk to conceal his pain.

''Why me?'' Asked Wally, not wasting time responding to Barry's provocation. ''Why did you gave up your powers to Zoom to save me? I'm nobody, I don't have any powers, I don't have any use for you.''

''What do you even care? I'm sick and tired of your mind games.'' Flatly answered back Barry. ''If you really cared you wouldn't be murdering me right now.''

''You can hide all you want, but I'm sure the only reason you're not answering is because you don't know.''

Barry's body stiffened. ''Of course I know, you might be a pathetic, spoiled brat, but saving you helped me keep your father in my pocket. ''

''Why would you need that?''

''Not expecting you to understand. '' Despite his I-couldn't-care-less and loathing attitude, Wally felt something was different.

Maybe it was just the fallen hero being tired of the whole situation and ready to meet his fate, unless it was the poison weakening his body that was also weakening his mental barrier. What if Barry was really starting to see how none of his actions in the past years were coherent to anything he'd been saying since he came back from Hyde's captivity? What if he was only too confused to let his walls down?

Joe's son couldn't tell why, but part of him hoped it was a good sign, that there was hope for Barry, even if it didn't add up to the Flash's actions only hours earlier…or it was just wishful thinking, hope without any proof; but the thing about hope is that you don't need proof to hang on to it, that's what makes it hope. All the young man wanted was just to get to know the real Barry, the one he never got the chance to do so since he only learned about his real identity days before he disappeared for four months. Wally needed to meet the Barry everyone here was so desperate to get back.

''And, I'm not planning to spend the rest of my short life debating this with you. '' Added Barry, shutting himself down like he did last night.

''It's ok. '' Said Wally, softening his tone. ''Talk to me or don't, but I'm gonna be here and stay here till you come back to us.'' Wally just sat on the ground, keeping vigil on Barry until someone took over, not that he was in any real hurry to leave the man's side.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It wasn't too long after that that Iris went to pick Cisco up from the hospital, bringing him back, his broken arm secured in a cast and splint, bringing the engineer, and some food for everyone, back to the lab while the darkness was coming back outside.

''Hey, Cisco, good to see you back.'' Greeted Joe as soon as the young man made his entrance all alone, before pointing at the splint. ''How's the arm?''

''Not so bad actually, just tired I guess. How are things here?'' There was no desire for small talk, straight to business. ''Iris told me Barry's not doing well.''

Joe sighed. ''He's getting worse, but we knew it was going to happen. I was about to go back to his side.''

''Need me there?''

''SHE-'' Emphasized Iris, entering the cortex with the bags of food, completing Cisco's earlier sentence mentioning her. ''-also told you that you should probably sit down if you're feeling too drowsy. ''

''Iris' right. Stay with Caitlin, I've got this.''

To be honest, while the pain wasn't too bad at the moment, Cisco wasn't feeling too eager to stay on his feet for long, working to hide a yawn. Agreeing, he moved back to the medical lab, sitting down, next to Iris, by Caitlin's bedside. That night was going to be long. It was hard to tell if it was the medication or the last sleepless night, but staying awake was a real struggle and Cisco's consciousness ended up drifting on and off in the chair, despite Caitlin's uneasy sleep next to him as the doctor was violently shifting under the sheets, victim to some really vivid nightmares. There was little doubt about what her nightmares were about.

As time passed, hour by hour, Barry's condition only worsened. It didn't take too long for his mobility to exponentially decrease. Soon enough, the speed for each of his movements had slowed down to an agonizing pace. Even raising his arm to touch head in a useless attempt to try and ease his painful headache looked like a long and incredibly arduous task.

They were closing on the full 24 hours mark when Caitlin finally awoke again, inhaling sharply, abruptly waking up Cisco, as the young engineer almost jumped out of his skin. Quickly recovering from it, despite the sharp pain in his arm from the sudden movement, he leaned closer to his shaking friend, in a hurry to reassure her.

''Hey hey hey. You're ok.''

''Cisco?'' Her voice was still weak and hoarse, but it was definitely stronger than when she first woke up. ''Barry…killed…you all.''

''It was just a dream, we're ok. ''

The young woman took a deep, shaking, breath, trying to gain control of her nerves before studying her friend. ''Arm?...Barry?'' She quickly added the second word when she saw Cisco hesitating, biting his slips. Of course it was the speedster, who else?

A nod was all it took to confirm it, even if it wasn't exactly necessary.

''Time?'' Added Caitlin after a moment of silence.

''We're passed 5 pm.''

Nodding, Caitlin reached for the sheets with shaky hands, freeing her legs and preparing to sit up. ''Should…see him.''

''Are you sure?''

Silence was the only answer he got as Caitlin kept on going with her plan, but as soon as her legs ended up hanging on the side of the bed, she suddenly stopped moving, tremors appearing from head to toes. Her eyes suddenly went empty, prompting Cisco to quickly get up to help her, unsure how he could do it with one good arm.

''What's wrong? Maybe you should've stayed in bed a bit more.''

''Can't…... Can't see….hi….m…'' As she was speaking, the doctor looked Cisco right in the eyes, visibly gathering strength for her first full sentence since the incident, whispering the last words she ever thought she would say: ''I'm afraid, Cisco. I think I'm afraid of Barry. ''

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope your guys are still enjoying this. Leave a comment :)


	16. I command Barry Allen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Constantine is back to give another try at the spell to bring the real Barry back

In the following hours, Caitlin went back to her post in the cortex, keeping a very close eye on the live feed for the changes in Barry's condition. While her conscious, logical, mind was fully aware that the person who attacked and almost killed her wasn't really Barry, that it wasn't his fault, she couldn't control her physical, subconscious reaction. At this moment, she had no idea if her mind could take going anywhere near the hero. How was she ever supposed to face him again?

By the end of the evening, Constantine had come back with Oliver, ready for the time his skills would be needed once more and it wouldn't take long. If it wasn't already, it became clear at the start of the night that Barry wouldn't go anywhere near the 48 hours mark, as he quickly lost mobility in his lower limbs. As they closed on the 30th hour, the speedster suffering became more and more obvious as he was fighting to stay conscious, violently shaking, barely even able to move his arms or hands. While everyone, except Caitlin, still kept on coming downstairs to stay by his side and talk to him, Barry hadn't said a single word in hours, he, in fact, hadn't even looked at them during that time.

By the time they hit the 34th hour, Barry's weak body couldn't even keep the sitting position and slowly, but surely, slumped, landing him on his side with a dangerously high fever of 107 F (41.7 C). As a result, the speedster was left shaking, cold and in pain, on the hard ground while his teeth were chattering and the only sound coming from his lips were whimpers of agony. The worry, that had slowly been growing in the pits of their stomachs, grew as they couldn't do anything but watch as the man they once knew, the kindest soul, suffered so much. Even Caitlin was now torn between running to his aid and staying in the cortex in fear he might still have a trick up his sleeve and come back to finish the job.

''We need to do something, he won't last much longer.'' Pleaded Iris, who couldn't take it anymore.

''I agree, time to finish this.'' Added Joe, barely able to look at the screen right now.

''We have to wait a bit more, at least after the 36th hour mark.'' Said Constantine calmly or, at least, he appeared to be, despite his hands nervously playing with his coat pockets.

''I don't care about your clock. Caitlin, do something.'' Said Iris, begging at this point.

''I-'' Started Caitlin before getting immediately interrupted by the alarm of the suit's sensors as the still man's muscles started violently shaking in all direction. ''…'mit, he's having a seizure.''

Her doctor's instinct kicked in instantly as she started collecting her medical bag and spoke up to whoever was listening. ''Experience time over, get me a stretcher.''

Raising her voice proved to be a hard and painful task for her still recovering throat, but Caitlin didn't care at that moment; if giving strong orders now meant a longer recovery time later, then if would have to be done to help her friend. Despite her mixed feelings toward Barry at the moment, she couldn't just let him suffer anymore...

''Wait.'' Interposed Constantine, placing himself in front of the doctor. ''He might still be too strong.''

''If we don't do it now, he  _will_  die!'' Iris replied instantly, speaking up for the doctor who nodded in strong agreement, biting her cheeks to try and hide her discomfort and the cough that wanted to erupt from the effort of speaking a bit too loud seconds ago. Not that anyone missed how weak and hoarse her voice still was at the moment.

''If we give him the antidote and he's not ready, everything would've been for nothing!''

''When we agreed to do this, we agreed that Caitlin had the last word.'' Spoke up again Iris before the doctor could open her mouth, partly because she needed to protect Caitlin from straining herself and partly because she had more than enough of watching someone she didn't even know play with Barry's life like that. ''I think she's drawing the line right here right now. We all are. Am I right? '' It wasn't like her to put words into other people's mouth, but she couldn't help herself, needing to rescue Barry right now. As she spoke, she turned toward Caitlin with pleading eyes.

The reporter once again got a strong nod from Caitlin. Looking around, the doctor noticed that Joe had frozen in place, waiting to see who would win the verbal confrontation between the girls and Constantine. ''What are you waiting for?'' Caitlin finally found the strength to say. ''Move. Now.''

The Wests were gone with their stretcher before Caitlin had even time to pick up one more syringe and head downstairs, coughing in her sleeve, not wasting time to look if Constantine was getting the ritual ready because, ready or not, ritual or not, she was getting Barry back in the medical bay.

''Cisco,'' Both girls called to their friend who had the last vigil turn, Iris' voice strongly covering Caitlin's. ''Open the door, NOW!'' Added Iris.

The second the door opened, Caitlin froze, her mind instantly flashing back to yesterday, memories and reality mixing, almost making her see Barry get up and go at her right now. Cisco saw it and knew exactly what was happening, striding forward, he vigorously grabbed her shoulder to bring her back to the present.

''Cait!'' Shaking her head to get back to reality, Caitlin turned to Cisco with an almost imperceptible nod, thanking him for the gesture. ''Need me to go back instead?''

''Got it.'' She quickly answered, getting a hold on herself. Barry needed her.

Running inside, she let herself fall on her knees next to the seizing body. '' This…should calm the seizure.'' She added, not even realizing she was saying it out loud, not that it mattered, nobody really heard her whisper in all in the action happening at that moment.

Grabbing the last syringe she took the time to take before leaving the cortex, she injected the medication in Barry's thighs without a second thought, thanking whoever was watching when the Flash's body complied almost immediately, relaxing.

''...not going to last… Move.''

Getting up and moving two steps back, she let out a small breath of relief, unsure if it was because of Barry's reaction or the fact that he didn't attack her. Working as an effective team, Iris and Joe lifted Barry off the ground and on the stretcher while Cisco was already gone, going to wake Wally up. By the time they made it in the cortex and approached the medical bay, Constantine was almost done drawing the symbols in the room in chalk, the candles already installed strategically around.

''Put him on the bed.'' He requested, not even turning around, assuming they didn't diverge from Caitlin's idea to bring Barry back up. ''Stand back'' he added as soon as Team Flash complied with the first directive.

The demonologist's hands started hovering over the unmoving form of the speedster, closing his eyes in concentration, getting ready to give his best performance yet, there wouldn't be a third try.

''I command Barry Allen to wake up'' He loudly said, just like the first time he tried the ritual. ''I command you, now!''

Even without opening his eyes, he was able to find the young man's forehead at the first try, pressing on it before switching to Latin. This time, considering the pain Barry had already been under for so long, it was hard to notice any difference, except for the speedster' eyes abruptly opening up in total coordination with John's and his breathing pace quickening and shortening.

''Tenebrae transierunt, libera animam hominis. Corruptio et abiit. Ego praecipio tibi!''

Barry's whimpering grew louder and closer from each other, his eyes closing again, his breathing pattern turning to short gasps. From an observance's point of view, it might've looked like it wasn't that painful to endure considering how still Barry was staying, but everyone in the room knew better; it only meant that he probably couldn't control any of his limbs anymore.

''Please Barry….come back to us.'' Whispered Iris, mostly to herself, not even noticing her dad's attention turning to her or Wally and Cisco joining the group.

Not wasting any second this time, Constantine proceeded in putting his own hands on both sides of the hero's head, sending, once more, the whole room in complete silence, even Barry's gasps were reduced to silence. Nobody could even tell if the young man was even breathing at all for a moment. When Constantine's head rose up, gasping for air, Joe put a foot forward, ready to help the man, but it wasn't needed this time as the other man stayed strong on his feet, his reaction somehow not nearly as violent this time.

''What happened? Is it done?'' Quickly inquired Barry's foster dad.

''I'm….not sure. I had him, I was taking the darkness away and your friend was fighting back pretty strong…but I was taken back before I had a chance to see the end result.''

''How will we know?'' Joe turned toward his fallen son with the rest of the people in the room.

''I think we will.'' Peacefully said Iris, she had faith in Barry and she just knew, in her heart, that if Barry was there and fighting what was done to him, he either won or was winning right now. Everyone in the room nodded in agreement.

Walking to the bed, Iris grabbed Barry's hand in her own, hoping it will give him some sort of comfort.

''Barry?'' She asked, when she felt tremors reappearing in the young man's hand, a second before the symptoms returned to every muscle in his body. ''Caitlin!'' She screamed, forgetting for a second that the doctor was right behind her, seeing and hearing everything, and was already running to the scene.

''…'s having a seizure again! Give me the antidote...Hold him down. Now!'' Ordered doctor as loudly as possible, despite her condition, to anyone around as all her attention was on her crashing patient. He needed the antidote yesterday, dammit, she never should've listened to that guy and waited so long.

Without any hesitation, she grabbed the speedster's head, violently turning it on the side and jammed the syringe into his system before backing up. The young man's back arched as his head violently moved from one side to another and the tremors kept on going for many agonizing seconds until his body finally started to calm down, the shaking reducing considerably. As Joe was watching the scene with terror, the only picture that came to his mind was a dying fish stuck out of the water, his last struggle before giving up on life.

A monitor's alarm and a curse from Cisco made the detective's mind return to the present.

''Dammit Barry, stay with us! He's crashing!''

There was no movement in the young man's body anymore and the flat line only confirmed that his heart gave up.

''Cisco; crash cart! '' Ordered the doctor as Cisco instantly jumped back in his assistant role. ''Everyone else out!'' he screamed, while making sure everyone was emptying the room of their presence. Having one good arm wasn't going to stop Cisco from assisting in any way he could.

Everyone else moved to the computers, trying to stay deaf to the frantic activity and the unmistakable sound of a defibrillator charging up and delivering the charge one time…two time….three time…four time.

''AGAIN!'' They heard Cisco's desperate shout resounding over all the rest.

''No…'' Started sobbing Iris, closing on her dad, tearing up himself, for comfort.

The silence that followed the 5th shock was nerve-racking at the least, leaving everyone's imagination the role to fill the gaps with vivid and horrific images of the worst case scenario.

''Please…'' Added Iris, on the verge of breaking down, barely feeling her dad's embrace growing stronger, holding to her for his own sanity.

''Should we go check it out?'' Asked Wally, looking around, searching for what he was supposed to do, what any of them should or could do in the situation.

Before anyone had the chance to answer, footsteps from the medbay made them all turn around and witness Caitlin getting out. It was with dry tears on cheeks that she approached the group, anger and pain all over. Without hesitation, she determinedly walked straight to Constantine like he was the only person in the room and threw, without warning, a powerful punch that connected with the man's face before anyone had the time to understand what was coming. It sent the demonologist stumbling and barely catching himself to the desk at the last second to avoid falling on his ass.

''What was that?' Exclaimed Constantine, wiping the blood off his split lips.

''It's all your fault! If Barry dies it's all going to be on you!'' Angrily accused the doctor almost screaming, straining her voice to the point it almost sounded straight out of a Donald Duck cartoon, which could've been funny under any other circumstances, but clearly not in this case. Swiftly turning around a bit, she angrily pointed her finger at Oliver "If Barry die, I NEVER want to see you ever again, neither of you, you're not welcome here anymore."

"Caitlin…" Started Oliver, trying to calm the doctor's outburst.

"Get out! Both of you!"

"Alright, I'm sorry for all of this." Apologized Oliver, before gently pushing his friend away, slowly leaving the now completely silent room.

As soon as both men left the room, Caitlin turned her back to the rest of the remaining people, passing her hand through her hair, taking slow, deep breaths, trying to put herself back together. Wally looked past her, trying to get a peek in the medical bay to see what was happening and why Cisco hasn't come back to them yet, not liking how everyone was staying in total silence, not eager to receive a punch. All Joe's youngest kid was able to see was the engineer walking backward and forward, working on his friend. Iris was the first one to carefully approach Caitlin, bringing the doctor her own glass of water that she left on the desk.

"Easy girl, take this." Wiping her tears, Caitlin nodded to thank her, gratefully gulping the precious liquid.

"Caitlin...you said if Barry dies, that mean he's alive, right?" Asked Iris, once the doctor was done drinking.

Bringing back her attention to the group who was getting closer to be able to hear her.

"Yeah, he is, but he's very weak. I was able to restart his heart, but he's not breathing on his own right now, had to put him under respirator."

"What about the bullet?" Inquired Joe.

"He's too weak for me to operate and get it out, yet. Cisco's trying to make him comfortable, should probably get back in there to help him."

"Come here." Said Iris, closing in, putting the doctor in a strong embrace. "Everything's gonna be ok, Barry's a fighter."

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Iris was right, Barry was indeed a fighter, as strong as you can get. To everyone's relief, he was able to breathe again on his own within the next 12 hours and his vitals got strong enough for the doctor to operate and get the bullet out just as a new infection was trying to settle into the young man's body.

Once the bullet was finally out, Barry's temperature finally started to go down by a couple of degrees and the last blood simple Caitlin took showed that the poison was regressing in the young man's system. It still took another half-day for the doctor to be confident Barry was indeed gonna improve and almost another full 12 hours to really start to improve. All they could do right now was wait and crossed their fingers that Barry was on his way back to them, or everything would've been for nothing.

Caitlin still had to admit out loud to anyone, except Cisco, her newly developed fear of her he speedster, she just couldn't help being nervous being around. Not to mention she still had to regain any sort of peaceful sleep since her near-death experience that now happened two and a half days ago. She couldn't be more grateful to Cisco who made sure she was never alone with the speedster, which helped her stay concentrated in her work without worrying, too much, about her life.

"Hey." Suddenly interrupted Cisco's voice, his next words cause her whole body to tense up. "I think he's waking up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Barry is finally back? Let me know in the comments


	17. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is awake and the team needs to move on from what happened, especially Barry.

Caitlin's first reaction was a mixture of relief and joy, turning around in her chair, ready to go check on Barry, but the second she got a view on the moving speedster, shifting on the bed, her mind froze, bombarding her with images of Barry's cruel, merciless, smile right as he was about to murder her in cold blood. Worse than cold blood, murdering her with sickening pleasure.

"Caitlin? Caitlin? Can you hear me?" Called Cisco's voice, his face appearing in her field of vision.

"What?"

"We lost you for a moment, are you ok?"

"Think so." She sighed, biting her lips in an effort to keep her voice from shaking. "I was remembering that…moment."

"You need to get out?"

She shakily shook her head before answering. "No, if I run away now, I might never be able to face him again." Visibly swallowing, she closed on her patient's bedside. "Barry? Can you hear me?"

"Maybe we should've used restrains." Chuckled Cisco nervously, unsure himself if he was joking or serious, a comment to which Caitlin just answered by glaring at him. "Not helping."

"Cait?" Came a weak, sleepy voice on the bed, resonating with pain, causing the doctor to freeze, unsure what to do or say.

"Barry?" Answered instead Cisco, leaning closer to his friend, scrutinizing the young man's tensed features, as he was struggling to open his eyes.

The second Barry succeeded in his arduous task and Caitlin made eye contact, she instantly knew something was different. For the first time since the hero woke up in S.T.A.R. Labs, after being transferred back from Star City almost two weeks ago, there was no malice, no deception or even hate; the speedster's eyes were clear. No matter how hard the young doctor and the engineer tried to study the speedster's face, they couldn't find a single trace of all the hate that consumed him for every minute he was their prisoner. As Barry blinked a few times, looking past both of his friend, he closed his eyes again before looking around for the longest moment. For a moment, the doctor's mind started to make some wild theories about unseen damage the poison could've done to the speedster's mind, or sight maybe, that was until the green eyes finally settled on her, addressing his friends. "What happened?"

"It's…" Started Cisco, looking at Caitlin for help.

"How do you feel?"

"I…I…hurt. Hot." Barry's head started moving around just before his whole body brusquely tensed up, panic rising up, his breathing acceleration. "Can't. Move."

The shock and the fear were genuine, no doubt this time. Despite the efforts of the Ghost, that version of Barry that Hyde created, to act like everything was normal, something had been off about him from the start. But, now, that uncomfortable feeling wasn't floating around the room anymore. Despite the desperate looks Barry was making, Cisco couldn't help it but smile while Caitlin was having a hard time keeping her sigh of relief inside, a shiver passing through her spine.

"Oh thank god. " Whispered Cisco, reflecting his doctor friend's thoughts, coming to the same conclusion than she did. It worked. It was over. And now, they all owed a huge apology to Constantine, and even Oliver.

"Welcome back. " Quickly added the engineer, cheerful, a mood that wasn't shared by Barry. Flash's panic and confusion only grew by the inaction of his friends, of the people he trusted the most, as they were standing there doing nothing after he just said he couldn't move. Well, worse than nothing, they were smiling at him.

"Help. Please"

His pleading pushed Caitlin into action, gently putting her hands on his shoulder. "Hey, hey hey. Relax, Barry, breath." The speedster's eyes locked in her own, forcing his mind to calm down. "That's it, in and out. You're doing great. "

Taking her hands off his shoulders, Caitlin moved them toward the hero's extremities, starting by touching his right arm and hand. "Can you feel this?" Seeing he nodded, already a bit relieved, she moved down both his legs and finished with his other arm, getting the same positive answer every time.

"You'll be fine." Caitlin answered, trying to keep it short, looking at Cisco for help, not wanting to put too much stress on her still-healing vocal cords, not to mention hoping Barry wouldn't notice something was off with her voice. Thankfully, for the doctor at least, Barry wasn't in a big observant mood as his eyes shut tight, working against the obvious pain.

"Hurt…" He whimpered.

"What do you remember?" Tried asking Cisco, uncertain where to start, causing the hero to open his eyes, frowning in concentration.

"Not sure…think I was taken…remember a dark cell, pain. I'm…not sure. Cisco, your arm…"

"You were taken, man, and poisoned."

Technically, it was the truth and without saying the details, Cisco hoped his friend would believe that everything, including his friend's arm, was because of Hyde. To be honest, it wasn't a total lie.

Barry slowly blinked, his confused brain trying to register the information. "Poisoned?"

"It's over, he's not going to hurt you anymore, nobody will." Quickly answered the engineer, maybe a bit too quickly, but if Barry noticed it, he didn't say a thing.

"Rest now, Barry." Added Caitlin. "We'll fill you in tomorrow, when you feel better." She did her best to show her nicest and most reassuring smile.

Seeing Flash's complied, his heavy eyelids closing already, Cisco quietly gestured to Caitlin to get out of the room with him to talk a bit more, needing to go to a quiet place where he could actually speak the truth, the whole truth.

"I was totally lying in there, it's not over; Hyde is still out there. We need to find him before he decides to come after Barry again."

"Yeah…but we got Barry back." Despite her fear toward Barry, she couldn't help but smile warmly when she finished her sentence, that part was over.

"You got that right." Cisco couldn't help himself at the uncontrollable laughing that erupted without warning, out of pure joy. After all these stressful days, hell, these stressful months, they finally got Barry back. Their Barry. The rest? They could handle it, they could handle anything and everything. Stretching his arm, Cisco welcomed the doctor in his embrace, celebrating their first, huge, victory in this new war.

"Is there something wrong?" Came the worried voice of Joe, entering the room and noticing the two young people talking quietly and hugging each other, closely trailed by his daughter.

Letting go, both of them turned around to face the detective, bright smile on their lips.

''Barry woke up.'' Answered Cisco for both of them. ''And he's - ''

''Is he back?'' Interrupted Iris, before her friend could finish his sentence.

''Yeah, he is.''

''Oh thank God.'' The relief almost sent Joe to the floor as his knees became weak for a second there, his hand scrubbing his face as soon as he was able to regain balance. ''Can we talk to him?'' He added directing his attention toward his son moving on the bed, moaning.

''Is he ok?'' Inquired Iris, the radiant smile she gained a moment ago falling, concerned about the physical aspect of Barry's health.

''He will be.'' Told Caitlin, confident. ''It will just take a few days for the poison to completely wear off.''

''He's trying to sleep, but you can go in there if you want, if you let him get the rest he deserves.'' Completed Cisco.

''Of course.'' Assured Iris, turning her heels to head in the medbay's direction when her dad's question stopped her movement, needing the answer.

''Does he remember anything, at all?''

Caitlin shrugged uncomfortably before responding.

''We didn't really pushed him, he's pretty confused right now, but his mind is probably going to get clearer soon.''

Both father and daughter nodded simultaneously in understanding.

''It's probably for the best, for now.'' Whispered Joe to himself, but loud enough that the rest of them still heard it.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

By the time Barry woke up again, it was already a whole new day and, for the first time since Barry was taken by Hyde in May, everything looked bright and full of hope. Joe and his daughter took turn sitting by the hero's side the whole night in the med bay as Barry's conscious kept on drifting in and out, without completely waking up or completely falling asleep either, shaking and shifting in pain. There's nothing the West wouldn't have given at that moment to see the clear green eyes looking at them again, after so long, but it would've to wait for Joe as the detective got called to a crime scene at dawn.

While Caitlin didn't say a thing, it made her more nervous than it should to see Joe leave the lab, but at least, Iris took her day off to stay by Barry's and, unknowingly, Caitlin's side. When Barry joined the world of the living again, the stubborn man decided to do it while his adoptive sister was away, stretching her legs. Even if Caitlin's heartbeat picked up the pace at first, she was able to get her fear under control and hidden from her voice.

''Hey, how are you? '' She gently asked.

''Better….hurt….everywhere. '' Difficultly mouthed Barry, badly shaking under the effort of the whole sentence.

''Can you squeeze my hand?'' Professionally asked Caitlin, consciously avoiding eye contact and putting her hand in the speedster's.

After a few tense moments, to the doctor's relief, she felt a slow and weak movement before feeling slight pressure on her hand. It wasn't much, but it was progress.

''Sick.'' Whispered the speedster, his breathing pattern shortening and quickening.

Understanding the message, she quickly helped the young man get on his side and put the trash under his face right before he got sick in it. Helping him go back on his initial position, Caitlin nervously waited for him to talk about as he was trying to catch his breath, hands going to his abdomen.

''Hurt.''

''You're still recovering from the poison, but you should get better very soon. The last test results showed that your powers are slowly, but surely coming back, it won't be long now before your healing powers return too.''

Barry paused for a moment, opening his eyes again to look straight at her, frowning in confusion. "Don't remember….getting poisoned."

Caitlin stopped, biting her lips, turning her back on him to go wash the trash and making sure the speedster didn't see her expression, fearing he would see right through her. How do you explain to your patient, to your friend, that you're the person who injected him with poison?

''Don't worry about it, it's a long story. The most important thing is that you're fine now, or, at least, you will be soon.''

It looked like for a second that Barry was about to add something, but the conversation got interrupted when Iris suddenly arrived, mouth opened in surprise and joy to finally see Barry awake and alert. Caitlin barely had the time to get out of the way before the reporter ran forward to hug the hero as hard as she possibly could, deaf to his muffled protests, sending Caitlin laughing.

''Don't hurt my patient too much.'' She said between chuckles. For a second there, just a second, everything was fine and back to normal.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Caitlin had been lost in her thoughts for a moment there, working on her computer and checking the last test results, when Cisco's voice interrupted them, closing on her and the medbay. It had been another very long and tiring day.

''Hey. How is he?''

Taking a quick glance at the speedster, Caitlin jumped on her feet quickly to get out of the room and join Cisco in the cortex, not wanting the disrupt the sleeping man who was now lying on his side, showing his back to the cortex, eyes closed. If you didn't take into account the occasional shiver, it was the first real and peaceful sleep Barry got since coming back to them, since being poisoned and she didn't want risk waking him up.

''Hey.'' She said once she was right to Cisco. ''He's slowly, but surely getting better, was able to move his fingers a bit more earlier.''

''That's good.'' Cisco smiled, but lost his smile quickly hearing the doctor sighing back.

''Yeah, it is. He's still pretty weak and in a lot of pain, not to mention he keeps on getting sick, but at least he's sleeping right now. The poor boy barely had any, he keeps on waking up.''

Any good news was a step forward in the right direction, but Cisco couldn't help but feel there was something his friend wasn't saying right now.

''What's going on? Is...'' He paused mid-sentence, realizing he was probably heading in the wrong direction with his question, he could read the guilt in Caitlin's face. ''He still doesn't remember what happened to him, doesn't he?''

''Considering what he went through, I'm not surprised he's confused right now. It's probably gonna take a few days for his mind to clear up.''

''You still haven't told him, have you?''

Caitlin bit her lips before speaking again. ''How could I? I put him in that bed, I injected him with the poison. ''

''It's Barry we're talking about, he'll understand, he'll forgive you. Duncan Hyde put him on that bed, put us in that position, you can't blame yourself for that...'' Seeing Caitlin was about to talk again, Cisco kept on going. ''Except, I think we should be the one telling him everything, before he finds it all out on his own.''

''You're probably right, but it's not just that…'' Caitlin took a pause, moving a couple of steps back to go sit in the chair at the back of the cortex, exhausted of her last sleepless night spend taking care of the hero, accidentally making the chair creak slightly. None of the two scientists noticed how the noise caused changes in the speedster's breathing pattern, as he slowly came back to the world, his eyes opening slightly, still facing the back of the medical bay.

''I know I shouldn't feel that way, especially since he's back and he doesn't even know what he did. I know that he wasn't even responsible… '' Continued Caitlin. ''But, every time I look at him, I remember that face he had right before he tried to kill me. It's not his fault, but I can't help it…''

''Cait...'' What was Cisco supposed to say? He couldn't really blame her, the poor girl had one of the worst luck ever when it came to being attacked by speedster. To be completely honest, the constant aching in his arm was also a painful reminder of the evilness Barry demonstrated toward all of them, making it hard for a moment to look at his friend without thinking about it.

''I'm scared Cisco. I'm scared of him and I don't know what to do. What if it never goes away? What if I never get better?''

''Hey, it will. You will.'' he finally said, getting closer to the doctor's new position. ''Just wait till he's back on his feet and zapping people out of burning buildings, stopping muggers and saving the world. Soon, everything will only be a bad memory.''

''I hope you're right…'' Sniffing loudly, she wiped the tears that were beginning to form at the corner of her eyes.

None of them could see Barry's own silent tears falling as his brain caught up with the end of the conversation he caught.

''Go rest, I'll stay with him tonight, he'll probably sleep for a while, considering everything. '' Said Cisco, walking the remaining distance between himself and Caitlin and gently patting his friend on her back, encouraging her to get up, which she complied. ''I'll wake you if there's anything. '' He assured before she could add anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, hope you like it, we're closing on the end.
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts :)


	18. One step forward, two steps back

Cisco woke up on high alert, almost jumping out of his skin, as the sound of an explosion hit his ears. His sudden movement sent his heart racing and his popcorn flying all around him, only to realise that he actually fell asleep on his Netflix marathon.

''That was scary.'' He said out loud, catching his breath and trying to remember where he was. What time was it? A little past 7am, it was still early. What was he doing there, watching a movie all alone in the cortex anyway? With every passing second, his brain started catching back. That's right, he was supposed to watch over Barry for the night...Caitlin wouldn't be happy to learn he fell asleep in his task, not that she really needed to know, right?

Quickly looking up at the speedster's bed, he froze in dread when he realized the bed was empty.

''Oh no…''

Did Hyde get inside and take Barry while Cisco was asleep on his guard duty? It was the first terrified thought of the young engineer. Nobody, starting with himself, was ever going to forgive him if that was the case, after all the hard work everyone did to find Barry, get him back and heal his soul and physical wounds, all he needed to do was sit and watch Barry sleep, a simple enough task. One so simple he wasn't even able to perform. Jumping on his feet, all pain forgotten from his arm, he ran to the nearest computer to check on the security cameras for live feed, hopefully they were still around and he wouldn't need to check all the security tapes to find out what happened.

That's when he saw it, just outside, near the parking lot; Barry, alone and slowly limping his way out of the lab, both hands on the wall to support himself as his still weak legs were shaking under the effort.

 _'What are you doing? '_  Thought Cisco before sprinting outside. At least, while the speedster made some really big improvements in the last couple of days since receiving the antidote, his still slow and agonizing pace made it easy to catch up.

''Barry! Stop! '' Shouted the scientist the second he got out of the lab, causing the speedster to stop in his track, tensing up, strengthening his position on the wall to stabilize himself, but without turning around.

''What are you doing, man? Come back inside before you fall on your ass.'' Vibe tried approaching, but the only result he got was Barry's body tensing up more and doing one shakier step to get further away.

''Let me go.'' Finally answered Barry, half-whispering.

''Barry, talk to me, whatever it is, I can help you.'' Cisco instinctively tried reaching for his friend with his hand before getting a painful reminder that his arm was stuck in a cast for many more weeks. Groaning in pain at the sharp movement, he stopped himself.

On the bright side, his sound of pain caused the hero to finally decide to turn around, looking pitiful and beyond exhaustion, probably both physically and mentally.

''I did that too, didn't I?''

 _'I knew we should've said something first…'_  That was the first thing that hit Cisco's mind before he spoke up. ''You…you remember, don't you?''

Barry shrugged, almost causing himself to lose his fragile balance with this slight movement . ''Bits and pieces…heard you and Caitlin talking yesterday. The things I said, things I did, the things I almost did. I'm so sorry, I can't be with any of you.''

The tears could be heard in the fallen hero's voice, he looked so lost in this moment.

''What are you planning to do? Where are you planning to go?''

''I...I don't know.'' There was so much sadness and despair in his face over what he did and his inability to find a workable plan about what he should do right. What was he going to do? Where was he supposed to go now? The guilt was already crushing him inside.

''Please, Barry, come back inside. We'll figure it out, we'll make things right. All you need to do is trust me.'' Pleaded Cisco, desperate to get his friend back inside. ''Do you trust me?''

''I...I don't think I can go back...'' The speedster's voice grew weaker with every word as the shakings in his legs increased.

''Why not?''

''Cause...I think I'm gonna pass out.'' Barely finishing his sentence, the speedster's eyes rolled in their socket before the gravity claimed his weak body.

''Barry!'' Cisco strode forward, barely catching his friend's arm at the last second. But, with only one arm and no time to prepare his catch, the only thing he succeeded to do was slowing down the fall that sent both of them on the ground.

''Dammit Barry.'' He swore under his breath. ''I won't be able to take you back in the cortex on my own.''

As he was saying that, his prayers ended up being answered immediately as Joe's voice called his name from the parking lot, jogging to his side, his panic increasing when he took sight of his son laying still on the ground.

''What happened? Is Barry ok?''

''You raised an idiot, that's what happened.'' Grumbled Cisco, only half-joking. ''Help me back him back inside, I'll explain everything.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Welcome back, Barr.'' Tried to cheer up Joe as his son opened his eyes, trying to hide the trace of anger in his voice, as Barry scanned around the room.

There was definitely disappointment in Barry's eyes when he registered he was back in the lab with Joe sitting in a chair next to the bed while Iris and Cisco were standing close. Caitlin was standing behind the group, keeping her distance, but still focused on everything that was going on.

''Why? Why did you bring me back here?''

''Barr?''

No matter how many physical wounds Joe suffered during his long career as a cop, nothing could compare to the pain in his heart to witness the desperation in his son's face who didn't think he belonged anywhere near his family anymore.

''I'm dangerous, I already attacked you, almost killed all of you. I can't stay here.''

''It wasn't you. ''

''How do you know? What if that's what the Speedforce does? Corrupt you? What if I'm only becoming who I was always destined to be? Like Thawme or Zolomon. ''

''That's not true, what about Jay?''

''I don't know, there has to be a reason…he's strong and I'm just…''

It was heart wrenching to witness all the pain Barry was under now, believing what he was saying, terrified of what he was potentially becoming. The poor man looked genuinely scared that the Ghost was about to come back and kill everyone around him, finishing the job.

''You're just as strong as Jay, maybe more. What happened, it wasn't you, you weren't in control of your actions, but you're cured now, it's over. You won't attack us again, we all know it.'' Joe paused to scrutinize his foster son's features, searching for any signs that would indicate how well he was doing in his faint attempt to reassure him. The terror seemed to diminish slightly, but instead of leaving relief in his trail, the result was closer to the empty eyes of a dying man, a man without hope as Barry half-nodded without enthusiasm.

''What do you remember?'' Said Joe, trying to change the subject just a bit.

''Enough…Look, what you did -''

''Barr…I…I'm sorry'' Interrupted the detective, but Barry shook his head.

''You should've shoot to kill, you still can, before I kill you all.'' Everything had been spoken on the same tired and neutral tone.

 _'Oh Barry, what has he done to you?_ ' Well, technically Joe knew, or at least part of it. He naively thought that once the spell was broken, everything would be back to normal, it was crushing his heart to hear Barry asking to get killed. He soul might've been fixed, but his spirit was broken.

Seeing that nobody was about to add something at the moment, Iris decided it was her turn to step in.

''Barry, what happened to you?''

''There isn't much to say. In the first, I don't know, months, I believe it was a couple of months, all he wanted was a rechargeable battery. '' Said Barry, his right hand going near his heart, where was the remaining traces of his burned mark. The mark that eluded them when Barry was first found and they were tracking The Ghost. ''He…used his necklace on me every time he was getting old again…'Til he put me in this, I don't know, container I guess? Don't remember much…the rest is foggy, I remember…the pain, the darkness, the… ''

Iris grabbed the shaking hands that Barry was staring at.

''It's ok, you don't have to tell us everything right now.''

''I hate to say this, but Hyde is still out there, and we need to do something about it'' Interrupted Cisco.

''Do we, really?'' Everyone turned around to identify the person who spoke up this time; it was Wally, joining them. ''I'm sorry, but isn't that guy already dying?''

''Wally...'' Reprimanded Joe under his breath.

''I'm sorry to say it, but Wally might have a point.'' Admitted Iris, reluctantly. They had Barry back, she didn't want to risk poking the bear or involve the hero in this fight, she would never live with herself if she was to lose Barry again to that monster. ''I thought about it too. That guy has been around for over a century, even if we do find him before his time is up, he's not going down easy.''

''Maybe, but before he goes down, how many innocent people is he going to drain of their life? If his number of victims keeps on increasing like it had been, we could be counting on a lot, a lot, of innocent people.'' Added Joe, keeping his ground.

Cisco sighed, understanding Iris and Wally' point, but also recognizing they couldn't bury their heads in the sand and decide it wasn't their problem anymore since they had their friend back from Hyde's claws.

''Guys, Joe's right, we need to stop that guy before he makes his next move, whatever it is. He's only going to die soon if he doesn't find the second piece of the Fountain of Youth, if he does, he'll be harder to defeat. We need to get a plan ready for the time we'll find his location.''

''I can help with that.'' Volunteered Barry, determination rising in his voice. ''As soon as I remember where he's hiding, I can go back in there. He-''

Flash didn't have the time to finish his sentence before everyone in the room started loudly protesting at the same time.

''What?!''

''Are you crazy?''

''There's no way-''

''Let me talk.'' He interrupted them, just like they just did to him. ''Hyde thinks I'm working with him, right? If we're lucky, he doesn't even know there's a cure, I can get close to him.''

''No, no way.'' Joe refused to concede. ''We already lost you for 4 months to that man, we can't risk losing you again.''

''Barry, be serious, we could tell when you weren't yourself, there's a world of difference between you right now and how you were last week. He's going to know.'' Iris might've been on the fence about chasing Hyde down or not, but she couldn't agree more with her father on this point; there was no sending Barry back into the wolf's lair. In fact, on this point, every standing person in the room was on the same wave line.

''Man, didn't you just hear us saying that this guy had been working his way in the magic field for over a century? If Constantine knew there was a cure, Hyde is going to know. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not an Oscar-type of an actor, you're not even good enough to be on the CW.''

As Wally strongly nodded to all the arguments, Caitlin decided to step closer to the bed and made herself heard for the first time of the conversation. ''Plus, you're still recovering, from both the poison and your bullet wound, your powers aren't completely back just yet. What are you planning to do if he sees right through your game?''

Barry sighed loudly, ceding the victory to everyone. ''Fine...can I be alone for a moment? I'm tired.''

Everyone definitely expected more of a fight from him and none of them knew if it was a good or a bad sign that Barry was letting them win so quickly.

''I needed to go back to work anyway.'' Said Joe awkwardly, trying to hide his despair that was caused by Barry closing off so fast.

''We'll be around if you need us.'' Said Cisco, reluctantly getting up from his chair and silently inviting everyone out of the room.

As the group got out, exchanging looks to one another, it was clear there were things unsaid that could wait a little, or at least wait until they were all out of the cortex, pretending to escort Joe out, while really moving the meeting a little further away.

''I feel awful about it.'' Said Iris, the first one to open her mouth once they were near the elevator, too far way to give a chance to Barry to eavesdrop on them. ''There's no way in hell I'm going to let him return to Hyde's lair, but even if we took the right decision, I still feel really bad about it, like I robbed him of something important.''

''I feared I was the only one who felt that way. Barry needs to make things right and he doesn't see another way right now. It's worrying me to see him so defeated. '' Agreed Caitlin.

''Me too.'' Said Joe, rubbing his forehead. ''What he said, about me, that I should've killed him, that I still could, it scared me. I've never seen him so…done, with everything, you know?''

''You don't think that he's going to…''

''But it wasn't him, we all know that, he knows it too, right?'' Said Iris.

''I think that it's time we call Constantine back.'' Concluded Caitlin, gaining a nod of approval from the rest of the team.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Thanks for coming back.'' Greeted Caitlin as soon as Constantine stepped outside the elevator to join her in the hallway with Cisco, Iris and Joe.

''No problem love. How can I be of assistance? …. Unless you invited me here to punch me again.''

''No, none of that. Actually, I wanted to apologize for what I did, you were only trying to save Barry, and you did, thank you.'' Caitlin smiled at him, feeling kind of bad for what she did.

''Where are Oliver and Felicity?'' Inquired Cisco, looking back to see if there wasn't anyone else about to appear.

''They couldn't make it, apparently they're needed back in Star City, but I was able to deliver the message that your friend is better. He is, right?'' Constantine's smile turned into a frown, Team Flash wouldn't have called him back in the lab for nothing.

''He's...better.'' Stared Joe, unsure how to say it. ''Physically.''

''He's not himself.'' Completed his daughter.

They luckily didn't have to say much more, Constantine knew exactly what was going on, as he put his business face on. ''How much does he remember?''

''He's remembering more and more, memories of his time he was Hyde's prisoner and some of the things he said and did to us.'' Answered Iris.

''He heard Caitlin and me talk about how he almost killed her and the day after that, he tried to run away. He stated we should've killed him, instead of shooting him in the leg.'' Complete Cisco.

''He's been pretty eager to take a shot at Hyde himself, but since we shut that door for him, he's still pretty closed up, to all of us. '' Finished Caitlin to explain the situation. ''He's been sleeping a lot lately, still recovering, but when he's awake, he either stays silent or request some time alone.''

John Constantine sighed as he took everything in. ''That's not good. '' The man paused before his frown deepened. ''Is he all alone right now?''

''My son's in the med bay right now. ''

''You should keep it that way…As much as I want to assist, I'm not sure what you're expecting me to do. Psychology is not my speciality, mates.''

''Look, we called you because we feel like you've been holding something back; you knew a lot about that spell and yet, you haven't said a thing about the one person who you said survived the ritual, who came back. What happened to that person?''

John Constantine froze for a second, confirming the team's suspicions.

''You knew that person, didn't you?'' Added Caitlin, still on the attack.

What was the point of holding back? John knew he couldn't keep it in, so he sighed , resigned.

''You're right, I knew, personally, the last person who was affected and survived both the initial spell and the one I did to reverse it…but… '' The man took the longest of pause, looking down, unsure how to deliver the news.

''But what?''

''By the time I was able to catch him and undo what was done to him, he had the time to take the life of a young girl. Once he was healed, he couldn't deal with his actions and he...ended up taking his own life.''


	19. Never the same

While it did crossed everyone's mind the second Constantine took his pause, Barry's words still resonating in all of their minds, it still hit everyone like a bombshell. ''You don't think that Barry…''

''It wasn't him, it wasn't really Barry!'' Said Iris, elevating her voice, making John turn around and stared into her eyes.

''You sound convinced of that, like it's a fact, not a trace of doubt in your mind.''

''Of course it is!'' Instantly answered the young woman back, almost feeling insulted by the unsaid accusation against Barry's righteousness.

''When you said this, you were in total control of your feelings, am I right? You didn't feel any internal conflict?''

''Of course not'' She added, a tad bit slower than her last answer, unsure where it was going. Constantine couldn't seriously consider Barry, the real one, had anything to do with what happened.

Fortunately, it wasn't the direction the demonologist was heading to, keeping his cool as he finally decided to get to the point.

''That's probably how your friend was feeling the whole time; he knew he wasn't mind control, he knew his actions weren't guided by some fighting between his feelings and emotions, like that time with Rainbow Raider. ''

''I'm not sure I follow.'' Said Iris, hesitantly.

''Oliver told you about Rainbow Raider? '' Intervened Cisco.

''More or less, he didn't go into details, but I know Barry was driven by anger during that time. Once he came back from that state, he knew his anger controlled most of his actions and words. This time? Your friend probably never felt clearer in his entire life, somehow his actions probably never felt more right. He knew what he was doing and killing Dr. Snow probably felt like the proper thing to do. '' Constantine hated to be the one who kept on delivering bad news after bad news. He just wished he could cheer the team up just for once, but he just couldn't, not right now. ''Right now, Barry probably doesn't know who he is anymore.''

''What are we supposed to do about it?'' Asked Joe. ''We can't stay here and cross fingers.''

''I'm not going to pretend that I know what you should or shouldn't do about your friend right now, but what we do need is make sure Hyde is taken care of; my contact said he's about to find the second half of the Fountain, thanks to the information Barry provided as the Ghost. ''

''I don't want to sound selfish, but I got to ask it again; how bad would it be to let Hyde gets what he wants? '' Decided to ask Wally again. ''I mean, we have Barry back and he's not really in any shape to get back into action. ''

Even if they already had that conversation earlier, somehow Wally just couldn't let it go, especially since the argument that won earlier was the fact that they couldn't let their enemy destroy innocent people's life to keep breathing. If Hyde was about to find the second portion of the magical artefact, he wouldn't need to feed on anyone, ever again, right? So, what was the hurry?

''Hyde is going to stop stealing people's life energy once he gets what he wants, am I right? '' He added.

Constantine shrugged. ''You mates have ever heard of Roanoke?''

''Roanoke?'' Slowly repeated Cisco, his eyes widening. ''As the Lost Colony? One of the first European colony to settle in America in 1587 and that disappeared without a trace?''

If Cisco wasn't too caught up in the excitement of possibly learning more about the Lost Colony, he would've seen Iris pleated her eyes at him in disbelieve. ''You really are an encyclopedia of weirdness, you know that? ''

''Wasn't the legend saying something about this word carved on a tree or something? Cot…Cra…Cro…something.'' Said Wally, not hearing his sister's comment about the engineer who completed Wally's word, snapping his fingers at him in excitement.

''Croatoan!''

''Yeah well, the word around is that Croatoan was a very powerful man, deeply rooted in magic, who got his hand on the Fountain of Youth, the whole Fountain. Activating it caused the Fountain's energy to suck up all of the people and the energy around, miles around.''

''You're telling me that the Fountain of Youth is the reason why the Lost Colony's population was wiped out of existence? You can't be serious.'' Answered Cisco, immediately sceptical.

''You better start believing it, mate. Actually, there's even rumors that the relic has something to do with Atlantis's disappearance. ''

''I'm sorry, but this is crazy, even for us.'' Intervened Joe, shaken up by the whole story because that's what it had to be, a story.

''Believe it or not, detective, but make sure to make your mind up soon.'' Constantine stopped, waiting for someone to speak up again. When nobody did, he kept on going. ''Once Croatoan was taken down, eventually, the people who succeeded in that task decided it was better to keep the 2 parts separated, hoping it would prevent anyone from ever wielding that power again. ''

Even Cisco, of all people, seemed taken back by all of this information, so John took a little moment to let everyone's mind catch up.

''Let me get this straight,'' Said Caitlin. ''If this guy gets his hands on the whole artefact, he'll become immortal, without ever needing to steal another person's life ever again…but in the process, he'll absorb the life energy of as many people there are in the radius of effect?''

''That's correct, love. ''

''How many miles around are we talking about?'' Asked Joe, deciding, like always, to take up the facts and keep the understanding part for later.

''Hard to tell, but even if we're talking about a 5 or 10 miles radius, in a town with a population as dense as Central City- ''

''-we could be talking about thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of death. '' Completed Joe, in shock, his mind couldn't even begin to imagine how massive the repercussions could be.

''Oh my God…'' Whispered Iris, nervously looking around, like she was expecting an energy blast to end her life and the life of everyone around in an instant.

''It's probably just wishful thinking, but Hyde wouldn't stay so close to Central City if he doesn't want to be caught, right? '' Said Cisco, clearly unconvinced by his own argument.

''If he wants to absorb as many people as he can, chances are he's going to be close to a big city. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, mate, but you need to be ready to act as fast as possible.''

''And Barry is our best, or maybe our only chance, to find the location of his hideout…'' Said Caitlin, sighing.

''So, basically, if we summarize this, we can't let Hyde succeed in activating the Fountain, we can't let Barry come with us and Barry is never going to forgive us for leaving him behind on this…'' Concluded Cisco after a short moment spent analyzing every piece of information they acquired in the last day or so.

''That's if he doesn't run out on us.'' Said Iris.

Everyone in the room deeply exhaled or nodded, there wasn't much more to add, it was a pretty good recap. Why couldn't things just get better for a week? Or even just a day? When was the last time the end of the world wasn't hanging over their heads and the whole team had been together and happy? It was too far away for anyone to really remember.

''At the very least, we should let him have his part in the plan. '' Suggested Caitlin.

''Let me talk to Barry'' Said Cisco. ''We'll figure something out.''

''I'll do it. '' Interrupted Iris. ''I'm the most neutral one of us, one of the only person left who he didn't hurt or that he didn't get hurt by. No offence, Cisco, but with your arm you'll only remind him constantly of what he did.''

''You're right…'' Admitted Cisco, lowering his eyes.

Approaching her friend's location, Iris gently grabbed his shoulder until his eyes met her own, smiling at him. ''Don't worry, everything will be fine once Hyde is taken care of.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

The young reporter went back to the hero's side, hoping to get a little chat with Barry, but the much needed conversation had to wait a little longer as the young man had fallen asleep once again, which wasn't really a surprise considering everything he's been through. Caitlin did say that even with his powers, it could take a whole week for him to return to his optimum form.

When the green eyes finally opened again and stared into her own, Iris was taken back for a moment; while it wasn't a dark pit of hate, it was more like an emptiness of light and hope. Quickly blinking, the speedster's body stiffened as soon as he noticed he was being observed and he immediately put on his emotions wall. But, despite his best efforts, it was too late to hide, Iris spotted it.

''Hey.'' She said, hiding her worry behind her own wall, smiling warmly.

''Hey.'' Barry answered back nonchalantly, awkwardly shifting his body to end up in a more or less sitting position in the bed, with the help of Iris piling up pillows behind his back.

''How are you feeling?''

''Better.'' He simply said. ''What is it?''

Iris' smile fell a little, missing the good old days when she could talk and laugh for hours with a cheerful Barry, the one with bright eyes and an infinite reserve of hope. That wasn't the man sitting in front of her, not anymore, and today would need to be a straight to business conversation as Barry was tiredly looking at her.

''Listen, Barry, you're probably still unhappy with what we all told you earlier. You need to understand that the reason we've been so categorical is because we care about you, we still love you, all of us -''

''Not so sure about Caitlin'' he sadly mumbled under his breath, eating himself up for his actions.

''-and we don't want anything bad to happen to you again, we just got you back. We're afraid, just afraid  _for_  you. We ALL are.'' She tried to emphasize, desperately needing Barry to understand that they were still on his side, even Caitlin. There was no doubt in the young woman's mind that the doctor still cared about the CSI, despite everything; she wouldn't have punched Constantine when Barry almost died if she didn't care. Things just were, well, complicated.

Despite Iris' best efforts, Barry wasn't convinced, totally worn up, speaking with the same weary voice.

''You should be afraid  _of_  me, I'm dangerous, Iris. ''

''Barry…It's doesn't matter what you did, we know it wasn't you, even if you don't think it wasn't the case ''

An optimistic way to look at things was to acknowledge that Iris's last sentence did lead to changes in the speedster's attitude, it sure did, but it certainly wasn't the ones the reporter was looking for. Instead of seeing Barry lighten up, she saw the irritation building up and growing, probably getting tired of being unheard on everything he was saying, like nobody was even trying to understand his point of view. Nobody was trying to understand what he just lived and how it was making him feel.

''If I couldn't feel it then, how am I supposed to sense now if I'm really cured? If I'm not going to lose it again? '' Despite the frustration in the hero's voice, Iris could still read her friend like an open book, she could see how scared he was, and how strongly he was trying to hide. Terrified was probably a better word actually, terrified he was going to hurt everyone again, or worse, understandably frightened of what he could do.

Iris hesitated, Barry had a point, or it sounded like one for a second until a thought struck her. ''The fact that you're wondering about it, about what you did, is a great sign in the right direction.'' She warmly smiled at him but only got an exhausted sigh for an answer as the frustration left as quickly as it came to the speedster's body.

''It doesn't matter, none of it does right now, it's never going to change anything that I've done to all of you. I can never take any of it back, I can never make it right. I'm never going to be who I was, everything was taken away from me. Hyde stole my life away, in every sense.'' It was hard to tell if the shaking appearing in Barry's voice were related to all the hate the young man had toward the person who caused all of this or because of all the pain and the guilt slowly eating and destroying him from the inside.

Iris had never felt so helpless in her life, she was so desperate to help her friend and offer him some comfort, but he looked out of reach. ''Barry listen, I know how you feel, I-''

''No, you don't. '' He sharply cut her in her sentence.

Iris took a deep breath, yeah, there was no denying that her choice of words had definitely been poor. ''You're right, I'm sorry, I don't understand what you went through, I can't understand what it's like to hurt people, hurt your friends. I can't really comprehend what it must have been like to endure everything you had to in the last months, but- '' The young woman took a small pause seeing fresh tears building up in Barry's eyes, threatening to break the emotional wall he built, desperate to hide all of his agony. ''-but, I really want to. I really want to help you in any way I can. I can't do this if you don't let me in. '' With every word she added, the reporter felt her own strengths slowly leaving her body, she didn't even realized until now how many emotions she kept bottle up inside in the last couple of weeks, trying to be as strong as possible for her sake and the sake of everyone else. But, right now, she just couldn't keep it in anymore and her voice was slowly beginning to break. After everything, after finally bringing Barry back to them, it was killing her to be kept at arm's length.

''Please Barry, talk to me, talk to any of us, or anyone else you want. ''

She tried reaching out to his arm, but he pulled away, out of her reach, looking down before speaking up again.

''I need to make him pay for everything he did. I need to make something right, do some good.''

''Barry, I get that, believe me, but at the moment you're not completely recovered. Who knows what using your speed prematurely would do, if your body can handle the stress so soon? We're just worried about you. '' Seeing that the young man was about to talk again, she quickly added. ''Look, I do want to help you, I'm sure we can find a way for you to help take Hyde down. Don't worry, you're not alone in this.''

The reporter felt her heart warmed up at the sight of a small twitch appearing at the corner of the speedster's mouth, it was definitely contagious as she found herself smiling back, feeling her message was being heard; he wasn't alone.

''Do you remember where he is hiding?'' She finally asked, ready to move on to the next step.

''Bits and pieces.'' He admitted. ''I vaguely remember the façade, I believe it was from an old abandoned factory or something. I can't seem to remember where it is.''

''In Central City?''

''I think so...yeah.''

It was both a good and a bad news; if he was close, they could get to jump on Hyde fast, rush at him, but if he was anywhere near downtown, it was a ticking bomb about to make a huge disaster at any moment.

''Can you describe it for me?'' Asked Iris, taking her reporter's notebook and pen out of her bag, ready to write down every single clue, convinced that with the help of the rest of Team Flash, they would find that building before the end of the day.

''I'll do my best.''

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

Once Barry was done describing everything he remembered about his captor's location, they gave everything to the rest of the Team so they could start looking. While everyone else was searching, Iris helped Barry fill in the blanks, answering all the questions he had, telling him about everything that had happened in Central City during the months he was gone and explaining how they put the pieces together, plus informing him about what Constantine told them about the Fountain. Iris even got to help the speedster's memory with things he participated in, but couldn't quite remember just yet. Barry just stoically took everything in, silently listening to the answers and keeping a straight face to most of it. As Iris was talking, she couldn't help feeling guilty when her mind started to wander off, missing Barry, really missing him badly.

He was right there, next to her, talking, listening, she shouldn't be missing him. What was wrong with her? Iris couldn't help how she was feeling, needing to get the bright, energetic and hopeful Barry back at her side. But the times of her being strong weren't over yet, Barry would need her to be his anchor for a little while longer. Real friends are supposed to stick together, even in the tough times, so she forced a smile on her face; it was going to be a hard couple of weeks, but they would survive them, together.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that behind the seemingly invincible persona of the Flash's mask was a person who was just like every other citizen of Central City, a person who could feel pain and emotional distress. There's no way anyone on Earth could feel like themselves after living through what Barry lived through.

For the first time since meeting Oliver's weird friend, Team Flash witnessed John Constantine running into the cortex just as Iris was finishing answering Barry's questions. Caitlin and Cisco both jumped on their feet, feeling something was wrong.

''What is it?'

''What's happening?'

''You need to make your move and fast, Hyde has the second half of the Fountain. He can makes his move at anytime now.''

''Oh God.'' Whispered Iris, getting up and out of the medical bay. ''We need to…'' She barely had time to start her sentence before she got interrupted by a streak of yellow lightning and a gust of wind.

''BARRY NO!''


	20. In the lair

''We need to find him, NOW'' Exclaimed Iris, already panicking, jogging in her high heels over to the computer screen.

By the time Joe's daughter made it, Cisco was already furiously tapping on his keyboard, searching for his runaway friend, with Caitlin leaning over his shoulder, breathing down his neck.

''By the time we'll find him he could be -!''

''We have him!'' Suddenly exclaimed Iris, interrupting Cisco and pointing at the computer next to his, popping up Central City's map as the GPS from the Flash's suit was swiftly moving around, moving backward and forward in every street of the town. ''He's searching for that building everywhere in Central City.''

''What the hell is he thinking?'' Asked Caitlin, anger and worry mixing in her voice. They weren't going to lose Barry twice to the same monster.

''He's determined to make things right…'' Grunted Cisco between his teeth, eyes glued to the screen, tracking every single move his friend made.

''Or to get himself killed. Whatever comes first.'' Completed Constantine, sending chills through Caitlin's arms and back at the sound of what she was thinking but wasn't ready to hear. They needed to get Barry back. They needed to do it now.

 _'It's all my fault.'_  Thought Caitlin who just couldn't help but feel the guilt. If her stubborn brain wasn't so, well, stubborn, and hell-bent on replaying what had happened it would make everything just so much damn easier. Maybe it would've kept Barry with them.

''Thank God he took his suit.'' Iris was surprised, but deeply relieved that Barry took the time to grab his Flash uniform, ensuring the whole team could follow his movements.

''Uuum, guys...?'' Constantine said awkwardly, eyeing the back of the room.

All eyes turned toward the red Flash suit still hanging in the cortex than back at the red dot on the screen, still moving around all over town.

''How's...'' Started Caitlin.

''He must have taken his tracker out and with him, he wants us to follow.'' Concluded Cisco, his smile returning, hope wasn't lost after all. Despite all the pain Barry was under, he still wanted his friends behind him, proving it by taking along the one think allowing everyone to know his position. It was an invitation, an invitation to join the fight.

''Let's go then.'' Finished Caitlin, already grabbing her coat, imitated by her engineer friend, addressing the 2 other people in the room. ''Iris, Constantine, stay here and call Joe. ''

''Caitlin.'' Interrupted Iris, taking one step forward with pleading eyes. ''Bring him back.''

''We will. '' Answered Cisco, nodding strongly.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

There it was, one of the many hideouts of Duncan Hyde, his Central City lair, located in an old abandoned factory that actually wasn't that far from downtown and the police station, or Star Labs for that matter. He had been hiding in plain sight since the start. Memories had been coming back more and more in the last couple of days, but returning in front of that building, in the Ghost suit, made Barry shiver, his heartbeat picking up as the panic built up inside.

 _'Calm down, Barry. You can do this. You can do this.'_  The speedster told himself again and again and again, struggling to slow down his heartbeat; What if his team was right? What if he was walking right back into a trap, a death trap he wouldn't be able to get away from this time? From the pieces he was starting to remember from the initial ritual that tainted his soul, he was sure he would rather die than go through all that unbearable pain again.

Even if Barry could trick Hyde into thinking that he was still on his side and under his influence, there was still the part of convincing his ex-captor he could be of some use. From the memories he was able to gather lately, when he passed out on that beach at Star City, it was because Hyde had drained him couple of days before and he was still recovering when he made that last break and entry. The only thing that really mattered to that monster was the information that Barry was able to bring back, the speedster could've died on that beach and no tears would've been shed. The information he was able to collect once back in Central City were just bonuses. Now? Hyde had everything he ever wanted or at least he'll have it before the end of the day, there was no time to waste.

_'I'm so sorry, everyone.'_

Every waking hour since coming back had been wasted eating himself up for everything he's done, all the lost time he could've been used working on a good plan, now time had run out, pushing the hero to just run away without any idea what he was going to do. If he could just get inside, grab the Fountain and…his idea pretty much stopped there. If he was indeed walking, or more likely running, in the shadow of death, the only thing Barry could hope was to complete his mission and redeem himself for everything he'd done. The rest didn't matter.

Taking the deepest breath of his life, Barry stopped in the old parking lot, starring right ahead at the windows, knowing Hyde's followers on watch probably already spotted him. Not that it was that difficult to notice the strange looking figure dressed in a dark blue and black speedster suit standing outside the building. The Ghost was back.

Slowly hurrying, Barry walked his way to the entrance, at the back of the abandoned factory, freezing in his spot, couple of feet away from the door, when it flew opened on his own to reveal a tall and muscular form richly clothed in an old white shirt with collar straight out of the 20th century under a bright red and yellow jacket, his amulet hanging loosely around his neck.

Barry couldn't help the shiver the instant his eyes fell on the amulet, looking at the red diamond, almost glowing, at the center of that big and impressive sun-shaped gold outline. His mind and body instantly remembering the excruciating pain felt at the contact of the artefact, as his life had been sucked away so many times. Hopefully his reaction went unnoticed as he fought down the nausea and put on his most neutral face possible.

''You're back.'' Said the authoritative voice, no trace or joy or surprise in the words, as the speedster's appearance had been expected.

Swallowing deeply and straightening his back, Barry moved forward to join him, hoping the hesitation was too subtle to be observed.

''I was taken by the people at STAR Labs, but I managed to escape.'' It was the truth, unless lying by omission counted as an actual lie; he did escape, but after being cured.

Nodding slightly, Duncan Hyde moved out of the way, inviting his servant to come back into the lair, his long and thick fingers playing with his necklace, almost causing Barry to miss the final step on his way to the door, holding his breath as he passed by the older man, almost letting it out loudly when he succeeded without being attacked.

_'Keep it together Barry, come on.'_

Passing in front of his former captor, Barry took the liberty to send a quick glance at the man's harsh features, looking around his late 50s by now, grey hair covering his head, looking ready to feed soon, not that Hyde was going to need it anymore after tonight, unless he planned one last meal right now.

''How can I be of assistance?'' Asked Barry, slowly articulating each of his words, sounding as detach as he possibly could.

''Where are they now? I assume you took care of the problem.'' Hyde asked instead, completely ignoring the hero's question. It probably wasn't the best move to talk first; searching in his memories, Barry actually didn't remember a time where he was in charge of asking the questions. He definitely needed to be more careful if he wanted to keep his act up until the cavalry would arrive. By the way, who were 'they' supposed to be? It took a second for Barry to catch up.

''They're all dead. I took care of everyone at the lab, they won't bother us anymore. ''

''Good. ''

Hyde started walking ahead in the long, large and dark cement hallway, large spaces between each door opening to what used to be individual storage rooms. Barry suppressed a groan as a none-pleasant flashback hit his mind, walking past the first door, a door he now remembered as holding custom made cells, including the one he lived in for some time.

''I wasn't expecting you back, but I guess you deserve to be here to see the end of the plan you worked so hard on to achieve.'' Every time that man opened his mouth there was something chilly about the way he was saying everything, his mouth twitching in a horrible, sadistic, rictus.

''Our plan is almost ready to execute.'' He added, opening the last door on the left. Peeking into it, Barry noticed how dark it was, barely noticing how empty the big grey room was, except for the 2 lines of column on each side of the room.

Something wasn't right, every instinct of the speedster was screaming to get away; there was no exit in that room, nobody, no altar, no…nothing. Despite the bad feeling in his stomach, Barry still made one step forward and another one, fighting the rising panic, suddenly jumping in fear when Hyde came inside and violently closed the door behind them both. If Flash hadn't sell himself out yet, the scare jump he just made wasn't going to help his case.

''You know, Flash-'' The way the superhero's name was spoken, Barry just knew the cat was out of the bag. Uh oh. His cured status wasn't a secret anymore, he knew he should've made a run for it, but he just couldn't, frozen in fear, his mind replaying all the suffering he endured at the hands of the man, already getting ready for another round.

''-I wasn't planning on coming back after you, I didn't need you anymore. But now that you're back, I can't let you go, you'll die like everyone else. ''

''I won't! Let me out!'' Barry's voice boomed in the room, resonating all over, not caring about hiding anything anymore, he rose his vibrating hand ready to attack.

Or, at least, he thought he did.

Something was wrong, very wrong, he couldn't feel his powers, he couldn't connect with the Speed Force and his hand was standing still, frozen in mid-air with Hyde cruelly smiling, amused by the situation.

''Oh, don't worry, you will die very soon, Flash, very soon. The pain will go away in a moment.''

What pain? As the hero's brain was trying to understand, he missed the sudden incantation as Duncan's eyes turned to red for a second before the older man's hand moved forward, touching the powerless speedster on the shoulder. His action instantly sent an agonizing wave of pain in the speedster whole body, sending Barry crashing to the ground with an anguish yell. The pain was overwhelming, leaving him thrashing in pain on the hard solid ground, his hands opening and closing, his nails desperately digging through his suit fabric, as if succeeding would free him from the pain deep inside. Consciousness was threatening to leave at any moment and Barry's senses had been cut off from the outside world, only hearing the laugh Hyde was making on his way out.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Go go go!'' Screamed Joe, getting out of his police car to join the rest of the officers already on site. At first, the detective hated the idea to get anyone else involved, but if they were right and the explosion was imminent, there was no time to evacuate the area, including the police station, might as well gather as much help as possible. Every officer there volunteered at the station and knew the danger they were getting into..

''Remember, the Ghost is on our side, do NOT engage with him. I repeat, the Ghost is on OUR side,'' Called the detective as loud as he could. There was no time to fill the gap on how and why the wanted criminal was suddenly working for them.

 _'Please son, be ok.'_  He pleaded in his mind, unable to conceive any other scenario.

''Where is he?'' He almost screamed to his comms in his ear, in direct communication with S.T.A.R. lab and with the van.

''He's still in the building, he's still hasn't moved for the last minute or so.'' Cisco told him, barely able to hide the fear in his voice, something was definitely not right and it was pure torture to be unable to see the man's vitals. Without the Flash suit's sensors or comms, it was impossible to know what was happening, or if he was even still alive.

''Getting in.'' Said Joe to both the team at the lab and to the rest of the police force, taking the lead and kicking open the front door, closely followed by two police officers, barely making a couple of steps inside before gunshot made themselves heard, bullets passing right next to Joe's face. ''Watch out!''

Retreating a couple of steps and crunching for cover just before the hallway's turn, Joe froze as he heard, above the gunshots, a scream that made his blood run cold; it was definitely Barry's scream.

''BA-'' The detective had to stop himself to both protect the fact that his son was there and to dodge another bullet coming his way.

''Cover me!'' He ordered to the other members of the CCPD in a tone that wasn't leaving any place for questioning, glancing behind as reinforcement came in, knowing more officers were entering as well all over the building.

Jumping forward, he dashed in the hallway, closely avoiding death a few times as the only thing that made sense in his mind was to go to the scream; he missed his chance once to get to Barry before it was too late, 4 months ago, he wasn't going to do the same today. Dashing from door to door, avoiding Hyde's followers, letting them fight with the rest of the CCPD, he finally ended up in the hallway in which Barry entered, his ears guiding him straight to the right door.

Opening it wide, the detective found himself barely a few feet away from his foster son screaming in pain, twisting in a desperate attempt to get rid of it while a man with a dark hood was standing right next to Barry, watching down at his prey.

''STAY AWAY FROM HIM!'' Screamed Joe, raising his gun, giving one, and only one, warning.

The figure turned around, his dark features hidden under his hood, hesitating a moment, but didn't step back from the fallen hero, at least not until Joe started putting pressure on his weapon, aiming directly at the man. It was the moment the dark figure decided to turn around and start running away, sending Joe jogging until he was able to kneel next to Barry.

''Son? Can you hear me?''

Whatever the other man did to Barry, it seemed to diminish as soon as he walked away, Barry's yell got soon reduced to whimpers and groans, uncomfortably shifting on the ground, but still unaware of his surroundings. Gently laying a hand on the hero's shoulder, Joe spoke up, not wanting to let the mystery man escape:

''Don't move I'll be back.''

'No…'' Came a whisper, a shaky hand grabbing his leg. ''Don't…hu…rt''

''Barr?'' What was that supposed to mean? Don't hurt the person who was causing him pain? The time it took to question his actions, his target was already gone out of sight. Hoping he did the right thing, Joe put back all of his attention to the man still on the ground. ''Are you with me?''

Slowly, but surely, the green eyes opened, closing just for a second, groaning in pain, before reopening, struggling to get back up before even answering.

''Hey, hey, easy Barr, slow down.'' Said Joe immediately, helping him on his feet, listening to the harsh breathing.

''We need….to…arrgg.'' Barry's knee got weak for a moment, stumbling forward, only staying on his feet thanks to his foster dad catching him up in time, worriedly scanning the young man over for injuries, unable to find any.

''Where are you hurt?'' Asked Joe.

''It will pass. '' Answered Barry immediately, finally finding a balance that didn't involve being supported by another person as his breathing was also coming back under his control, speaking through his teeth and pain. ''We need to go stop Hyde, now.''

When he rose his head and looked at Joe right in the eyes, the detective could see the electricity passing in them; Flash was back and he meant business.


	21. Final Stand

''Hyde! STOP!'' Commanded Barry, as he finally entered the room he's been looking for, Joe following in his tracks.

They found the man in a relatively small and circular room. The dim light made it hard for them to discern to object on the ground, in the middle of the room. When their eyes adjusted to the darkness they managed to make out a very old and creepy water fountain made out of some unknown of gray stone. The artefact consisted of a pond of very clear water with a figure sitting in the middle of it, the figure depicted a man's face with long hair attach to a slim; old and wrinkled, attached to a delicate child's body; the wisdom of an ancient in an immortal body. Both of the statue's arms were extended forward, now holding the sun necklace, the one Hyde had been using for many decades, the same one that was now starting to glow, lighting up the room under the guidance of old incantations.

Hyde stopped his incantations and turned slowly toward the two intruders, but stayed on his knees, a strange and wide smile all over his face. The smile of a victorious man.

''You're too late, I already started the ritual. You can't stop it.''

Joe and Barry both felt a pit in their stomach, exchanging horrified looks, they could get out of there in a heartbeat, but there would be no such luck for everyone else in the building and everyone living in the radius, in the unknown area of effect.

''Destroy it.'' Whispered Joe.

''Worth the shot, but how?'' Whispered back the speedster, electricity already charging up in his body, cracking, ready to dash.

''Don't look at me, I'm not the one who got hit by lightning.'' Half-shrugged Joe.

Lightning? Of course, lightning, it was worth a shot!

''Stay back!'' Ordered Barry, a second before starting his sprint, running in circles, gathering speed and electricity for his attack, if there was one way to stop this whole madness, this was it.

''You can't stop it!'' Hyde repeated in a loud cry, but he still got up, closing on his artefact in a protective way as the glowing only grew in intensity, the man's hand lowering on it.

 _'Now or never.'_  Thought Barry, throwing his lightning bolt harder than he ever had, straight for the target, connecting with the old magical artefact, and the figure touching it at the same time, sending Duncan Hyde yelling in pain, before falling still on the ground. Whether he was dead or alive wasn't a priority right now as the speedster stopped his movement, only taking one quick glance at his fallen captor, before directing back his attention to the magical object, frowning. His attempt didn't had the effect he was hoping for; the Fountain of Youth wasn't a pile of broken rocks and dust; it was still standing, intact. Worse than intact, it was flashing.

''Joe.'' Said Barry, quickly turning around. ''Tell me you're in direct communication with the team.''

Without answering, the detective's hand quickly went to his ear, taking out his comms and handing it over. Within a second, the speedster had them attached in his Ghost suit.

''Guys? You there?''

''Barry!'' He head Iris' voice crying out in relief.

''Man! Are you ok?!'' Came Cisco's voice, covering Iris'.

''No time for that.'' Answered Barry on the verge of panicking, cutting them off. ''Is Constantine with you?'' His friend and family must've heard the urgency in his voice as they all stopped talking in an instant.

''I am.'' Said the British demontologist. ''What's happening?.''

''Hyde had the ritual underway by the time I arrived, I tried to destroy the Fountain using lightning, but it didn't work, now it's flashing very quickly and very brightly.''

Over the comms, the hero heard various gasps and whispers, but all his attention was focused on waiting for Constantine's answer, recognizing his deep sigh among the sounds, it didn't look good.

''If you broke it while the ritual had already started, it's possible that you overload it, it's still going to explode.'' Finally said Constantine's voice.

''Oh no...'' Came Iris' voice over the rest, echoing what everyone was probably thinking.

''What kind of damage are we talking about?'' Asked Barry.

''A lot, maybe just as much as it would've if you hadn't done that.'' Answered Constantine, gravely. ''You need to get out of there NOW.''

''I don't think there's time.'' Barry didn't mean to say it out loud, but he still did. The only person who could get far enough without a doubt was himself, but he wasn't going anywhere without the people he cared about and every innocent who were facing imminent death.

There was only one thing he could do. No time to waste.

''BARRY!'' Screamed Joe as soon as he saw his son disappear from in front of him with the artefact. ''No no no…'' His nerves couldn't take it anymore. It was with shaking hands that he went for his cell, almost dropping it on the ground in his hastiness, barely catching it so he could quick dial Cisco.

''Cisco!'' He screamed into his device the second he heard the sound of someone picking up on the other end of the line, before the engineer could make a single sound. ''Barry, he's-''

''He's heading towards the Badland.'' Said Cisco's voice from the van, instantly answering Joe's question as his worried eyes anxiously followed every movement of the red dot on the screen. ''He's going to try and drop it to a minimal safe distance. ''

 _'Come on Barry, I know you can do this.'_  He thought to himself.

''What's going to happen if it explode and Barry's not far enough?'' Asked Joe, dreading the answer he already knew inside.

''It would kill him, possibly tear his whole body apart.'' John Constantine answered grimly.

''He can do it, I know he can.'' Said Caitlin.

''Can you hear us, Barry?'' Tried Iris, but silence was the only answer they got back.

Everyone in the van and in the lab followed the red dot on their screen, anxiously waiting for...anything, something, to happen. Every single second was pure torture, each one feeling slower than the one before. At any moment, that same dot could completely disappear from the map, both from the computer and from existence.

''Isn't he more than far enough?'' Asked Iris, anxiously.

As if on cue, the dot suddenly immobilized himself for just a moment before suddenly running back in his track, moving toward the city instead of further away.

''He made the drop, he's turning around and returning to the city!'' Cheerfully exclaimed Cisco, ready to raise his arms in the air in celebration.

The celebration got cut short as suddenly, the dot disappeared from the screen, just as the tablet monitoring Barry's position suddenly lost signal.

''BARRY!'' Screamed Iris in horror as the rest of the gang lost their voice in shock.

The cry of anguish of his daughter felt like a punch in Joe's stomach, especially since he was the only one still inside, with no computer screen to show him what was happening with his son's signal. The lump in his throat paralyzed his voice, his mind sending flashes of when they first lost Barry back in May,

''Wh…a…'' He tried speaking up, getting interrupted from another cry he barely heard over his own distress.

Their enemy hadn't moved a single muscle since he got partly hit by the lightning right in the middle of his ritual, but it changed the same instant Barry's sensor lost his signal, the scream that erupted from his throat wasn't human, sounding like an agonizing animal getting his skin ripped off from his still alive body. The horrible and piercing sound caused Joe to let go of his cell, freeing both of his hands so he could cover his ears in a faint attempt to protect them.

Actually, the metaphor probably wasn't too far away from how it must be feeling as Hyde's skin started to decay right in front of the detective, aging years, even decades, in mere seconds, until all that remain was just dust in bright clothes. It was over. Duncan Hyde was no more. Just like the Fountain of Youth. And just like….Barry? No, Joe couldn't think like that. He needed to get back to the van and go get his son back, once more.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

It took about 20 minutes, 20 minutes spent in almost complete silence, for the S.T.A.R. Labs van to get close to the last position of Barry's suit sensor before the signal was lost. They tried in the first moment to contact their friend with no success, letting the imagination of each and every one of them to try and fill in the blank of what really happened out there.

''He might've just been knocked down by the residue energy of the blast.'' Theorized Cisco, half-hearted, halfway into the ride, his technical mind trying to hang on to any possible explanation.

''It has to be.'' Whispered Joe, desperate to believe it. From what he'd been told, the signal stopped when the speedster was just outside town, between 10 to 15 miles from where he left the artefact. It had to be far enough to keep him alive, there was no other possibilities the detective was ready to accept.

As soon as they stepped out of the van, Joe, Cisco and Caitlin started looking around in the sand and rare vegetation.

''Let's split up to cover more ground.'' Said Joe. ''No going away till he's found.''

''If he didn't go far enough, it's possible there won't be anything for us to find.'' Said Caitlin grimly, fully aware that everyone around already had that thought haunting their mind and didn't want to be reminded of it.

The speedster's dad glared but didn't say anything, moving away, resuming his search.

''Barr! Barry! Answer me son!'' The detective's voice was booming all around the zone, echoing the young scientist's voices doing the same in the other directions. ''BARRY!'' He tried again, louder. What if….no, he couldn't start thinking like that. Barry was close, he was just right under their noses and he was waiting for his rescue.

''BARRY!'' The detective kept on trying again and again, going further away from the rest of the team with every step, nervously turning around from time to time, hoping the others found something. ''Where are-''

The detective suddenly stopped in his track as he noticed something that wasn't part of the scenery; a dark blue, still, too still, form, half-covered in dirt.

''Oh God…BARRY!''

Sprinting faster than he ever did in his entire life, Joe covered in seconds the remaining distance, falling on his knees before he was even stopped, sliding in the sand, not even caring for the pain in his scraped knees and newly teared jeans. His breath got stuck in his throat, unable to get out, as he feverishly uncovered the dirt from the young man's face and took the mask off, taking in the closed eyes and scratches. The pale skin was so cold right now under his delicate touch.

''Oh my God, please Barry, please. Wake up!'' He pleaded, gently tapping on the hero's cheek, trying to rouse him.

Getting no response, he dug his shaking fingers into Barry's neck, feeling the knot in his stomach. ''Please Barry, please.'' His trembling lips kept on repeating unconsciously, nothing else in the world mattered at that moment, even forgetting where he was or the fact that Cisco and Caitlin were close by, searching for the hero too. Still searching at that moment.

There it was, a pulse, weak but steady,

''Oh Thank God.'' Sighed Joe relieved, letting go of the breath he hadn't realised he was holding and swiftly wiping away the tears that started to form at the corner of his eyes. Remembering all of the sudden his surrounding, Joe turned around to scream as loud as he could. ''HERE! I found him!''

''So…loud.'' Answered a weak voice on the ground, barely above a whisper. Almost jumping out of his skin in surprise, Joe turned his head around to look at his son's face who still had eyes closed, but his face and eyelids were tensing up in pain.

''Hey, hey, Barr. It's over, try to relax. Help's coming. You're going to be fine, just relax.''

Each word had been spoken hurriedly, as Joe's nerves were about to crack under the pressure, his concern levels weren't about to go down any time soon, especially considering how compliant Barry was at that moment, slightly nodding, not making any motion to get up or to even open his eyes like he usually did after getting injured.

Barry's head slowly rolled to his side, eyes still closed, before coughing up once, then twice, causing Joe's knot in the stomach to tighten.

''Barr?'' He asked fearfully, his right hand going under the boy's upper body, lifting him into a semi-sitting position, hoping to ease the boy's breathing. It seemed to help for a second until the young man moved his head again, to the other side, his body twitching in his foster father's grip, coughing up the sand that probably ended in his system during the blast.

 _'Please Cisco, Caitlin, where are-'_  before he could finish his thought, a figure came and kneeled next to him.

''What's wrong with him?'' Worriedly asked Cisco.

''I'm not...'' Started Joe before getting interrupted by Caitlin's voice as she joined them, kneeling on the other side of Barry, putting down her medical bag on the ground next to her. Her focus went instantly to the hero's breathing and coughing, cataloguing in her head every possible injury; he wasn't spitting blood, nor was he struggling to breath, both good signs. To everyone's relief, Barry's cough diminished after a couple more seconds.

''Barry? Can her you hear me?''

Barry turned his head slightly to his left and fluttered his eyelids a couple of times before finally gathering the strength to open them, revealing exhausted green eyes. Despite of the open eyes, concerned wasn't going away as the speedster still kept his whole body limp, his arms staying on his sides, no attempts were made on moving them.

''Are you hurt? Are you in pain anywhere?'' Asked the doctor, closely studying the man's face who closed his tired eyes for a moment, tensing with pain, before opening them again. The CSI didn't even have time to answer before his suit got opened for him and expert hands started probing, searching for signs of internal bleeding or broken ribs.

''Head…ankle…hurt.'' Finally answered Barry, sluggishly.

For the first time since finding his son, Joe took the time to look, analyze, his son's body. His first concern was about Barry being alive, but now he realized he didn't really searched for injuries. There wasn't any need to ask which ankle was making the boy feel pain, noticing the unnatural angle of the left one. He looked up at Caitlin, his eyes asking for help as the doctor was already done with the first part of her examination and was moving on, putting back her hands off from behind Barry's head, frowning when they came back bloody.

Wincing in sympathy and apologizing for the additional pain she caused, the doctor turned the boy's head on his side to examine the injury, probing it, trying to stay deaf to the groans of pain. She extended her other arm to her medical kit, inviting Cisco to come take her place and handing him a clean gauze.

''Keep pressure on it, it should stop the bleeding.'' She instructed before turning to Joe. ''Make sure he stays awake, don't want to risk anything until we know the extent of his head injury and how much the energy outburst affected him.''

Caitlin didn't even wait to see if her instructions were carried out before taking a bandage from her bag and moving down the young man's body. In the meantime, Joe had taken his son's hand into his own, never stopping talking, about anything and everything, trying to keep the hero with them, but he could see the heavy eyelids closing again. That was until Barry's eyes sharply opened, widening, gasping in sudden pain, his glance immediately falling on his broken ankle that Caitlin pushed back in place in the right position just a bit too abruptly and fast.

''Did….it…purpose.'' He panted, his chest quickly rising and falling.

''Did not!'' She exclaimed, acting offended.

Barry grumbled under his breath, taking it back under control, exponentially more awake and alert than his previous state moments ago, pain tremors coursing on his body, not noticing the looks the people around him shared. Maybe, just maybe, Caitlin indeed did it on purpose, just a bit. Partly because of her fear he was going to slip into another coma if they let him fall asleep, partly as a revenge for the panic the young man had caused by running blindly, headfirst, into an explosion.

The doctor couldn't help the smile on her lips, it was really over; Hyde was dead, the Fountain was destroyed and everything was going to be ok. All they needed now was to make sure the speedster would feel at home again, they could deal with that.

Once Barry's ankle was tightly bandaged in the right position, just enough to keep it in place until the healing power would take over and finish the job, Caitlin allowed herself a deep breath.

''You think you can walk?'' Asked Joe who grabbed the young man's arm while his second arm was still keeping him in a semi-sitting position.

Swallowing deeply, Barry nodded slowly, cringing under more pain as Cisco pressed a bit harder before putting away the gaze, looking at the head wound which had almost stopped bleeding by now. Satisfied, Cisco slightly bowed his head to answer the silent question from Caitlin that Barry was ready to move. Each taking a side, Caitlin and Joe took one of the speedster's arms, hauling him on his feet and supporting his slow, but steady walk back, hopping on his only good foot and stopping every couple of steps to let the man catch his breath a little. Slowly, but surely, they made their way back to the van and Barry was finally allowed to sit down, his back against the wall of the van, breathing heavily, tremors shaking his whole body in exhaustion.

''Bro, why did you have to do that?'' Said Cisco, letting go of the question that had been burning his lips.

''I had to, I had to prove I could still do something good.''

Of course he had to, that damn hero's mind, it wasn't like he hadn't done anything good since becoming the Flash, and yet every wrong seemed to somehow outweigh the thousands of goods.

''You didn't have to do this, we know you're still good.'' Tried Cisco, smiling.

''I had to prove it to myself. '' Barry answered sadly, moments before his head suddenly popped up, a thought hitting him. ''What about Hyde?''

''He's dead, Barry, you did it, he decomposed the second the Fountain was destroyed. Plus, the CCPD took care of the rest of his followers.'' Answered Caitlin, getting in the back of the van, coming next to her patient to check his pulse from his wrist. ''Try to take it easy, we'll be back at the lab before you know it. ''

Barry barely even nodded at the answer he got, suddenly more interested in scrutinizing every reaction, every movement the doctor was doing, his eyes filling themselves with sorrow despite the victory. ''Cait, are you still afraid of me?''

Caitlin stopped what she was doing, looking uncomfortable. ''Look, Barry, it's ok. There's nothing to talk about.''

''Yes Caitlin, there is. ''

Caitlin sighed. ''Alright, let's make a deal. If you can stay awake until we reach S.T.A.R and I check you out, tomorrow we can talk as much as you want. ''

She waited until Barry nodded in agreement before returning her attention to looking him over.

_'Maybe, just maybe everything would be okay.'_


	22. Til we meet again

Once the group had made its way back to the lab and the doctor had the time to examine her patient, everyone was finally able to breathe freely and let their adrenaline rushes fade, exhaustion hitting them all, starting with Barry once he was cleared to go back to sleep. He had a minor concussion, but Caitlin wasn't worried, she just planned to make sure he would be awaken every hour or so to check up the evolution of his head injury while his broken ankle and the rest of his injuries would all be gone before morning. One final disturbed night remaining, just one. It was difficult to imagine that everything was really over, for real this time. What now? The wounds were deep, for all of them, and they were going to take time to heal. In the meantime, what was going to happen to their team? What about their superhero operation that hasn't done much saving since May, 4 ½ months ago? Could Team Flash really go back into action like nothing happened? Caitlin's gut was telling her that nothing was ever going to be the same again…

Running her hand through her hair and groaning against the growing migraine, the doctor stood up from her seat, glancing one last time at her sleeping patient before moving out of the room. There was no reason for her to not go take a nap until it was time to wake the speedster and check his head injury, as long as someone was there just in case to sound the alarm. Cisco was just there moments ago, probably back in his workshop at the moment, while Joe was sitting behind the computers in the cortex, nervously tapping on the desk, waiting for news.

''Hey.'' Said Joe's voice when he saw Caitlin get out of the medical bay. ''How is he?''

''He's going to be just fine tomorrow, physically speaking.''

''We'll deal with it, now that the rest is taken care of. '' Said Joe with confidence before moving up to the next subject that he wanted to approach. ''How are you? What Barry said in the van, are you…?''

Uncomfortably shifting her weight from one leg to another, she winced, not something was really comfortable discussing with Barry's foster father, fully aware of her delicate position going forward in Barry's recovery. ''Joe, look…''

Raising his hand, the detective interrupted her before she could find the right words. ''It's ok, I understand, I was there, it was terrifying enough just standing there. I can only imagine what it was like from your perspective. '' The Detective took a pause, scrutinizing Caitlin's timid but growing smile of relief. ''Anyway, I just wanted you to know that it's ok, you don't have to feel ashamed for how you feel.''

''Thanks Joe, it means a lot.'' Her smile widened for a moment, before falling off just as fast. ''I just wish I knew what to do looking forward. I don't want to make Barry feels like an outsider here, maybe I should walk away a bit. Just for a little while. I don't know.''

''Nonsense, your place is here, we'll mend our wounds the only way we know how; together.'' Widely opening his arms, he invited the young woman in and she did, closing in, embracing the hug and words, Joe was right; together, they were going to get better. Together.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''Can I sleep now?'' Mumbled the speedster, already closing his eyes again, tired of being awoken every hour for over half the night now, desperately needing sleep.

''Yeah, you can now.'' Agreed Caitlin, satisfied with her last examination. ''Your wounds are all healed by now, I'll let you rest for the rest of the night, you deserve it.'' She added before heading toward the exit of the room.

Her last sentence prompted the young man to open his eyes again and bring back his attention into the conversation.

''Cait...wait. Can we do this now?'' He carefully studied his friend's face as she bite her lips, coming back closer to the bed. ''Please.'' He added, sensing his request was about to be turned down, they did agree on waiting until the morning, but he just couldn't keep it in anymore, he wouldn't be able to sleep with that in his head.

Seeing the determination mixed with pain in the speedster's eyes, Caitlin sighed in defeat.

''Look, Barry, I'm...I...'' Caitlin wasn't ready at all to have this chat right now, starting to stammer her words.

''Are you still afraid?''

If only things were this simple, black or white, but it wasn't. Caitlin turned her back on Barry for a moment, getting her answer ready before facing her anxious friend once more, trying to push aside all the guilt she was witnessing in his face.

'Barry, listen. '' She gently started. ''I know that what happened, it wasn't you, not really, I don't blame you.''

''But you're still afraid.'' Added Barry, hearing what she wasn't saying, his eyes tearing up.

Walking straight up to the bed, Caitlin delicately placed her hand on Barry's arm, waiting until he made eye contact again before continuing. ''Hey, I do forgive you for everything.'' That was the easy part, there was nothing to forgive, at least from Caitlin's point of view. ''Things might've been...'' She stopped a second, searching for the right words. ''-weird, in the last couple of days, but I'll be fine, we'll all be, with time. You want to know what scared me the most today? When the Fountain exploded and we lost your signal. I thought for sure this time we lost you for good.''

The whole time she was talking, Barry was carefully studying each and every one of her features, trying to discern how much of what was being said to him was the truth. Satisfied, he finally wiped the tears at the corner of his eyes before finally speaking up:

''What now?''

''What do you want to do?'' Caitlin tried to act as casual as possible in her answer, but inside she feared what was coming. Even if she did suggested to Joe that she could walk away for a while, Barry's foster dad was right about the group needing to stick together, she had no real desire to deal with the aftermath on her own.

''I can't be the Flash right now.''

Of course, it was to be expected.

''It's ok.'' She said gently. ''Nobody was expecting you back right away.'' She decided it was better not to push him about a timeframe on how long he was planning to take his break.

''Thanks.'' Barry said sincerely, obviously relieved he wouldn't have the pressure to get back in action right away, his mouth twitching, it wasn't exactly a smile but it was a close as they got since getting him back.

''No matter what you decide, we'll support you.'' Added Caitlin, not missing the fast sparkle in her friend's eyes as an idea suddenly hit him. She knew him well enough to know when he had a plan in mind, but decided to stay quiet, trusting Barry to share once he'll be ready. ''Now rest. I'll see you in the morning.''

Warmly smiling at the speedster, Caitlin started walking around, grateful to see how well the chat went, only turning around once more when she heard Barry absently wishing her a good night as he was lost in his thoughts.

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

''You seem excited today.'' Said Caitlin the second she caught a view of Cisco's bright, smiling, face as they met in the hallway, on the way back to the cortex.

''Been working on something ''

''That explain why you're still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.'' Teased Caitlin, fighting back her smile.

''Hey! So are you!'' Exclaimed Cisco, defending himself, right before going back all enthusiastic about his project. ''Look, I've had this awesome idea for training; we should create a speed lab! We could build a track to allow Barry to practice on it.''

''A speed lab, really?'' Answered back the doctor, frowning and yet smiling at Cisco's happiness. Just a few hours ago, Barry made it clear that he couldn't be a hero anymore, or at least not for a while, and Caitlin agreed that time was probably going to be the only thing possessing the power to repair everything. But, at this moment, a new idea was appearing and growing; maybe normality was the thing they really needed. Maybe working on that project and training a bit could be a transition toward regaining that sense of normality without going in the street.

''It'll be great.''

''I'm sure it will.'' Smiling lightly, Caitlin added carefully. ''Just make sure to wait a day or two before telling Barry about your project, alright?''

''Fine.'' Grumbled Cisco, understanding.

As Caitlin entered the cortex with her friend, excited to get the day started, she got stopped in her track at the sight of the white envelope placed against the computer's screen, on the cortex's main desk.

''You don't think that he…'' Started Cisco, nervously looking up at the medical bay, the empty medical bay.

Barely hearing the question, it was with shaking fingers that Caitlin reached for the unseal envelop, opening it and freeing the sheet of paper, hand-written text covering it, swallowing at the view of it as she recognized Barry's handwriting instantly. She barely even saw Cisco closing on her position to read the text simultaneously.

''Hey everyone,

By the time you'll read this, I'll be long gone and I want you to know that I'm really sorry for leaving. But, please, don't look for me. I hope you guys will one day understand why I took this decision and forgive me for it. I hope you'll understand that I had no choice; I need to rediscover who I am, who I really am after everything I did to all of you. I'll never be able to do that around here, surrounded by things and people who constantly remind me of all the wrongs I did. I fear that if I don't do it now, I'll lose myself forever.

Caitlin; I heard you, and I understand why you're able to forgive me, but now understand why I can't forgive myself, just yet. When I do, when I'll finally have the strength to look you in the eyes again without being disgusted by myself. I will be back.

Cisco; I know you're probably not holding me accountable for what happened, but at the moment, looking at your arm, all I can think about is that breaking sound haunting me that I might never be able to get out of my head. I just wish you didn't have to had suffered at my hands. You and Caitlin are family in my book, as much as Iris and Joe, and I was supposed to protect you from harms, not be the reason of your sufferings. I'll never be able to take it back.

Joe; I forgive you for shooting me, you didn't do anything wrong. You did the right thing in saving Caitlin and I can never thank you enough for it. I can't imagine how I would've ever been able to get up and live with myself if I had committed the irreparable.

Iris; I did hear you too yesterday, you're right, if I'm questioning myself, it's because I'm not the same person who tried to kill you all…but I'm not the same person you used to know before that whole ordeal, I'm not even the same guy who first put on the Flash costume. I need to find that person again and bring him back.

And Wally: I just wish one day we'll have the chance to get to really know each other. Meanwhile, take care of your family, of our family.

I know I'm hurting you all by leaving and I don't want to, I don't want to hurt any of you anymore, but it's just something I have to do.

I love you all. I always will.

Until we meet again,

Barry''

**The END!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, it was mean leaving the work unfinished, so I posted everything left of the works I started here. Now I can leave the website in peace. As much as I really wanted to stay longer on this website and love the tag systems, the ghost town that is the comment section is really taking my motivation away. Since English is only my 2nd language, it take me forever to write a single chapter, so let alone stories like some of those I've worked on and still am, twice the time (at least) it usually take me to write a story in my own language, not to mention that my best part of the week is interacting with people and seeing how they react. I'm really sad that I don't have this contact with readers here.
> 
> So, really sorry everyone.
> 
> Truly hope you enjoy what I posted today.


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